Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge/Script dumps/en full
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< Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge
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FM Towns script dump[edit]
Cemetery
Dread's Ship
Woodtick
Peninsula
Beach
Swamp
houseboat
`Steamin' Weenies! -- 20 ft.`
sign
Fink
Bart
Too heavy.
log
Nice stick.
stick
weenie hut
`Rapp Scallion's Steamin' Weenie Hut^\255\003^place order here.`
sign
path
door
Looks closed.
For what? It's closed down.
shack@@@@@@
weenie hut
Ha!\255\003Those guys wouldn't know a good story even if they paid fifty bucks for it.
When I find Big Whoop I'll become a legend among pirates for generations to come.
If I could only charter a ship and get off this stinking island^
Guybrush
@@@@@@@@@@@
Regular Mode
Game Paused. Press SPACE to Continue.
Insert Disk %c and Press Button to Continue.
Unable to Find %s, (%c%d) Press Button.
Error reading disk %c, (%c%d) Press Button.
Are you sure you want to restart? (Y/N)Y
Are you sure you want to quit? (Y/N)Y
Save
Load
Play
Cancel
Quit
OK
Insert save/load game disk
You must enter a name
The game was NOT saved (disk full?)
The game was NOT loaded
Saving '%s'
Loading '%s'
Name your SAVE game
Select a game to LOAD
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
mnky2eng
Guybrush
bucket o' mud
spit encrusted paper
spit encrusted paper
hand and map
hand and map
spit encrusted paper
broken bottle
spit encrusted paper
spit encrusted paper
Easy Mode
I'm not holding the \255\006\001\064.
I'm not holding the \255\006\001\064.
I can't reach it.
It doesn't seem to open.
I can't move it.
Nice \255\006\001\064.
I don't see anything special about it.
I can't pick that up.
I can't reach that from here.
That doesn't seem to work.
Molasses machine.
Street legal machine.
Trans-warp drive machine.
Floppies
Hard disk
Selected actor is \255\004\001\000
Regular Mode
Easy Mode
\255\007\026\000
Talk color \255\004\229\001
Machine rating is \255\005\189\000
Are you sure you want to win? (Y/N)
Game just loaded switched you to easy mode.
Game just loaded switched you to hard mode.
\255\005\108\000 \255\006\109\000 \255\005\111\000 \255\006\110\000
\255\005\108\000 \255\005\111\000 \255\006\110\000
\255\005\001\064
Key pressed: \255\004\001\064
Walk to
Give
Open
Close
Pick up
Look at
Talk to
Use
Push
Pull
in
with
on
to
\255\006\000\064
Hmm. This door appears to be locked.
Threepwood
this room is # \255\004\000\064.
Light-source script tried to divide by zero!
Actor-light-source script tried to divide by zero!
He's back.
I told you, we don't have any marshmallows.
Well, you guys can stop worrying about Largo^
I ever tell you about the time I kicked LeChuck's butt?
Tell me about this Largo guy.
So why don't you kick Largo off the island?
What's this about an embargo?
How's the pirate biz?
What's this about an embargo?
Any idea where I could hire a ship?
Do you guys know any piraty songs?
Do you guys know any more piraty songs?
Any marshmallows left?
Well, I'll see you salty dogs later.
Look, Guybrush^\255\003Besides the fact that we'd all rather die than hear that story again^
^there's another reason you shouldn't go spreading that story around.
Largo LaGrande is back on Scabb.\255\003He used to be LeChuck's right-hand man.
You don't want to get Largo on your bad side.
A two-bit thug!
He's nothing but a low-down weasel!
Well, we would^
But he was very close to LeChuck^
But LeChuck's gone forever!
I heard they never found his body!
That's because I blew it into a thousand pieces!
Oh, no. Not this story again!
Horrible.
The sailing embargo has all of us pirates landlocked.\255\003We can't go about our business.
Some of us tried pirating on land, but it just didn't feel right.
You'll need to go to the far side of the island^
And there you'll meet a man named^
^Captain Dread!
Yikes! Sounds intimidating.
Not really^\255\003^once you get to know him.
Of course, he can't take you anywhere until Largo lifts his sailing embargo.
The Largo Embargo!
Well, it's not really an embargo.\255\003It's a tax on ships coming or going^
But it's a HUGE tax that no captain on this island can afford.
Including Dread.
That fool Largo doesn't know when to stop.\255\003He can't take more from us than we have!
Sure! Fink here knows a million!
Go ahead, Fink.\255\003Sing that one about Scabb Island.
Oh, all right^
Well, I'd rather be a pirate on Scabb^\255\001Than a scab on a pirate.\255\003And if you'll listen to me gab,\255\001I'll tell you why I admire it.
Oh, the people aren't too friendly.\255\001And the weather's not the best.
The lodging's too expensive,\255\001And Largo was quite a pest.
The lodging's too expensive,\255\001And Largo's quite a pest.
But the thing I like about Scabb\255\001Is what it hasn't got:
No mayor or police force\255\001And no jail in which to rot.
That was beautiful.
OK, here's one about a pirate, his parrot, and a tragic day at sea^
You're not going to sing, `Polly the Squawker Lives in Davy Jones' locker,` are you?\255\003You know that one always makes me cry.
Sorry, Bart.
Let me try one!
\255\004\095\001!
\255\004\096\001!
\255\004\097\001!
OK, that's enough.
Aw, I wasn't done.
Oh, I wish I could par-lay\255\001Some French with Governor Marley.\255\003I'd say to her, `Voo-lay-voo?`
OK! That's enough!\255\003No songs about Governor Marley.
Looks like Guybrush is still carrying a torch for the Governor.
Too bad he can't even talk to her in English!
Sorry, Mr. Sensitive.\255\003The only other songs I know are dirty ones about Governor Marley.
Me too.
Marshmallows?
We don't have any marshmallows.
What's that white, puffy thing on the end of your stick?
It's the stuffing for under my eyepatch.
We're just sterilizing it.
We're pirates, Guybrush, not Girl Scouts.
He's history.
Oh really?\255\003He must have finally got that nasty letter I wrote.
You sure can write a mean letter, Fink.
That reminds me, do we have any weenies left?
So I bust into the church and say, `Now you're in for it, you bilious bag of barnacle bait!`
^and then LeChuck cries, `Guybrush! Have mercy!`\255\003`I can't take it anymore!`
I think I know how he must have felt.
Yeah, if I hear this story one more time, I'm gonna be crying myself.
Don't you have any NEW stories?
Well, actually, that's why I'm here on Scabb Island.\255\003I'm on a whole new adventure.
Growing a mustache?
No.\255\003Bigger than that.
A beard?!?
No, I'm in search of treasure.\255\003The biggest treasure of them all.
A treasure so valuable and so well hidden, that it haunts the dreams of every pirate on the seas.
You mean^
Big Whoop? \255\002
Big Whoop?
Big Whoop?
None other.
Then, why'd you come here?\255\003There's no treasure on Scabb Island!
Well, I didn't know that before!\255\003Now I'm trying to charter a ship and look someplace else.
When I return, I'll have riches galore, and a whole new story.
Or you'll have died trying.
Either way, we won't have to hear about LeChuck anymore.
Oh, \255\004\098\001 bottles of beer on the wall^
\255\004\098\001 bottles of beer^
You take one down,\255\001pass it around^
\255\004\098\001!
\255\004\098\001 bottles of beer on the wall!
There's something written underneath^\255\003It says, `REMEMBER TO TURN OFF!`
knob
knob
knob
knob
It's empty.
Except for the baked-on weenie juice.
It's open.
It's rusted open.
oven
It's stuck shut with old grease and pork fat.\255\003Yuck.
oven
door
They're empty^\255\003^but, mmmmmm, I can still smell the pickles.
Why would I want to carry around big, empty, pickle-soaked barrels?
barrels
`Help wanted.\255\003One week's salary in advance.\255\003Inquire below.`
sign
ship
What a dinky little door.
door
hatch
path
ship
`THRIFTY-DIG\015 -- For the treasure hunter on a budget.`
I can't dig that, Daddy.
shovel
Oops^\255\003^I think I broke the sign.
I'd better not do anymore damage.
`Welcome to Woodtick`\255\003`No Trezer huntin zone`
sign
door
There's no glass in the window.
window
I intend to.
riches
I intend to.
riches
I intend to.
riches
I intend to.
riches
I intend to.
riches
I intend to.
riches
I intend to.
riches
I intend to.
riches
`The Bloody Lip Bar and Grill`
sign
Guybrush
Largo
Where do you think YOU'RE going, fancy-pants?
Whoops. Excuse me.
Outta my way, fancy-pants!
On second thought, stop right there!
You ain't from these parts, are ya?
This here's a toll bridge. You gotta pay.
Is this some sort of bribe situation?\255\009\025\000
Sure. Take my money. I don't want any trouble.\255\009\006\000
Who's gonna make me, shorty?\255\009\023\000
I don't pay for nothin'. I'm a pirate!\255\009\027\000
No, more like extortion.\255\003Here--allow me to demonstrate.
Aw, there goes all my fun.\255\003Now I don't get to do this.
Tough guy, eh?
Help!
Police!
Ha ha ha!\255\003Scream as loud as you want!\255\003There are no police on Scabb Island!
Then who keeps up the law and maintains order?
Then who eats the donuts and roughs-up the transients?
Please! Not in my new coat!
OK, put me down now and I won't have to hurt you.
I'm the only law on this island!
I roughs-up what needs roughing-up on this island!
Maybe I should make you one out of cement!
Ha ha ha!\255\003That's a good one. Maybe I won't kill you right now.
Hey! Yer loaded!
This is my lucky night!
Remember^\255\003Wherever you go^\255\003On sea or on land,
You can't ever hide\255\003From Largo LaGrande!
Guybrush
Tough town.\255\003I guess I should have got those traveler's checks.
Guybrush
This maybe a lot of money, but it's nothing compared to how rich I'll be when I find Big Whoop.
I think I'm pretty well prepared, financially, for now.
I should be set for the whole trip with this.
This should be plenty of money to charter a ship.
Look at all this!
I've got enough to buy my own ship--in five different currencies.
I'll be traveling first class on this treasure hunt.
It sure took a long time to save all this.
No more part-time circus work for me.
Of course, this is only a fraction of what I'll have after I find Big Whoop.
Hmmm^ Maybe I should get a money belt.
I wonder what I'll buy first^
Boy, this stuff's heavy.
I could just look at this money all day.
Money, money, money.
I'm confused by this strange urge to squander my wealth on immoral and dangerous vices.
I wish all those girls who wouldn't go out with me in school could see this!
\255\005\001\064
hastily scratched message
I don't think it's my prescription.
Everything looks all blurry.
monocle
What is this? Midget wrestling?
Poor guy.
cartographer
I can't reach it.
map
I can't reach it.
map
I can't reach it.
map
It's a pile of blank paper.
I've got enough.
pile of paper
It's blank.
paper
Reminds me of a dollhouse I once had.\255\003I mean, my SISTER once had.
It's too small.
bed
doorway
Wally
Nice monocle.
Thanks. I can't see a thing without it.
Did you pick up my love potion?
Oh yeah--love potion.
That's what I was supposed to get.
Hello.
Hi Wally.
Excuse me^
Oh yes. Hi there.\255\003Can I help you?
Who's there?\255\003I can't see anything without my monocle.
Oh, hello Mr. Brush.
Yes?
Did I mention that I'm Guybrush the ghost-busting stud?\255\009\027\000
My name's Guybrush. Who are you?
Hi. I'm Guybrush Threepwood, ghost-busting stud.\255\009\027\000
Hi. I'm Guybrush. Who are you?
Excuse me, do you know anything about Big Whoop?
Nice place you have here. Well, goodbye.
Uh-huh.
So I've heard.
Wally
Wally.\255\003Wally B. Feed.
At your service.
Uh-oh. Who sent you here?\255\003I should warn you: I'm heavily armed.
Nobody sent me. I'm free-lance.\255\009\006\000
I was sent by the I.R.S. Let me see your files.\255\009\007\000
Don't shoot! I was just asking.\255\009\006\000
Well, well. Aren't we jumpy?\255\009\024\000
The who?
You'd better not try for my files.\255\003All my research on Big Whoop is in there.
Well, that's a dangerous question.
I've been researching Big Whoop for years.\255\003There are a lot of people who'd like to get their hands on my files.
You would be too if you were me.
Are you looking for Big Whoop, too?\255\009\023\000
Can I see your files?
Where do you think it's buried?
I'm looking for Big Whoop myself. Wanna help?\255\009\027\000
Well^
I haven't really been able to find out much hard information^
What do YOU know about it?
Actually, there's not anything in them.
I don't know if I'd be much help.
I know I'm looking for it, and that's about it.
I know it contains unimaginable wealth.
I know it's location is a mystery.
Um^ I really don't know much about it at all.
You mean, you never heard of the four men who buried it?
No. Tell me all about it.
No, but I really don't care.
Oh, them? Yeah, I know about them. Of course.
Well, all anyone knows for sure is that there was a shipwreck.\255\003The merchant vessel Elaine went down in a terrible storm.
Elaine?
Only four crew members survived.
They washed up on a remote, deserted island.
Some say it's name was `Inky Island,`\255\003but I don't believe that.
Why don't you believe it?
Go on. Finish the story.
But what IS Big Whoop?
Because there's no such island.
Anyway, that's where they supposedly found Big Whoop.
But what IS Big Whoop?
Whatever it was, it was so wonderful^\255\003^or so horrible^\255\003^that they never wanted anyone else to find it.
So they took the map they made of the island^\255\003^and split it up among the four of them.
And they all went their separate ways.
Wow. That's some story.\255\009\024\000
Where are they now?
You don't actually believe that story, do you?
I love that story. Well, bye!
Of course, it could just be an old legend.
But if I could just see the map of that island^\255\003^I bet I could recognize the shape of the land and track it down myself.
Well, I don't even know their names.
You know, that reminds me^\255\003I've got to get over to the Phatt City library and look that up^
^I'd go look them up at the Phatt City library^\255\003^if it weren't for this stupid Largo Embargo!
Well, well.\255\003Guess you don't need me, then.
Hey! I did it! Largo LaGrande left Scabb!\255\009\027\000
I have some more questions about Scabb Island.
I have some questions about Scabb Island.
Do you know anything about Big Whoop?
Could you tell me about the men who buried Big Whoop?
You know, I could just sit and talk about maps all day.
What exactly do you do here?
You know anything about this Largo guy?
How's business?
Is longitude the sideways one, or is that latitude?\255\009\025\000
Thanks. I gotta go.\255\009\026\000
Would you mind if I just looked around?\255\009\026\000
No, no. Be my guest.
If you see my monocle, let me know.
That's great.\255\003I guess I can stop with the bricks through his window now.
Hey! Me too.
Who couldn't?
What else is there to talk about?
Well, hey. That's my job.
Seems almost like we have.
Yep.
I can never remember which is which.
It's so cute when you laypeople try to understand geography.\255\003I could try to explain it, but it would probably just go over your head.
I'm a cartographer.
You do open-heart surgery?\255\009\007\000\255\003In here?
Uh^ no.\255\003I'm the mapmaking sort of cartographer.
Oh.
What kinds of maps do you make?
Is that all you do? Make maps?
Ha! Only sissies use maps.
Maps. Huh. That's interesting. Well, see ya.
^but unfortunately I don't have all day.
Well, I do some restoration work too.
I paste them together, re-copy them^\255\003^paint little cupids in the corners^\255\003^you know. Artsy-fartsy stuff.
Every kind a pirate could need!\255\003My eyes have seen the whole world, and there's not a part of it I haven't put down on paper.
Maps are very, very important.
Not to me. I don't travel.
Actually, I prefer to just stop and ask directions.
You know anything about this Largo guy?\255\009\024\000
How's business?
I'm sure they are. Well, good-bye.
So you've told me.
That's even better!\255\003With good maps, you can see the whole world without leaving your living room.
That's what Magellan thought.
Ha ha ha!
Sorry. Cartographer joke.
Why? Thinking about moving here?
Shoot.
Actually, I'm trying to get off it as soon as possible.
How can I get off this island as soon as possible?
You know anything about this Largo guy?\255\009\023\000
How's business?
Where's the Governor's Mansion?
I'm looking for some room and board.
Actually, I'd better not ask too many questions.
Thanks. That's all I need to know.
Thanks for the lowdown.
Anytime.
Maybe you should talk to Captain Dread.
Good luck!\255\003With the sailing embargo Largo's imposed on Scabb, it's hard to get anywhere.
Which doesn't help my business, let me tell you.
Terrible!
No one needs any maps since no one can go anywhere thanks to Largo.
There is no Governor on Scabb!\255\003This is an anarchist cooperative of pirates, cutthroats, and other criminals.
A haven for roughnecks and rebels like me.
The only authority on this island is that bully Largo.
Well, I hear there's a new chef down at the Bloody Lip.
And the Swamp Rot Inn has all the comforts of the sea.
But I think Largo's booked the whole thing.
Okay. But don't be shy if you think of a question.
He's just the local hood--shakes down everybody in town.\255\003Nobody comes or goes from Scabb because Largo makes them pay through the nose.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Okeydokey.
Hey! Where's my monocle!\255\003I can't see a thing without my monocle!
Dang! I've lost my monocle again!
What is that? I can't see a thing!
All I want is my monocle.
I'd rather keep it.
Oh, there it is. Thanks.
Ah, that'll work. Thanks.
No thanks. I already have a perfectly good monocle.
No thanks.
No thanks.
I have all the paper I need.
Pretty nice map, eh?\255\009\007\000
Of course it is.\255\003I made it.
What's this? A map?
Hmmm^
Looks like only part of a map.
I can't make anything out of this.
It's incomplete.
Got any more of this?
I've got another piece right here!
Hmmm^\255\003Still not enough.
I've got some more pieces right here!
Hmmm^\255\003Almost, but a critical part is still missing.
I've got the rest of it right here.
Come back when you have the whole thing.\255\003Maybe I can help you then.
Hmmm^\255\003Very interesting^
Can you put it all together into one map for me?
I'll do it for you if you'll run an errand for me.\255\003Go to the International House of Mojo and ask the fortune teller if my love potion's ready.
Okay.
I'll try to have this done for you when you come back.
Nice map.
Yep.
Uh-huh.
Thanks.
I like it too.
Drew it myself.
Not for sale, though.
Where'd he go?
Someone's hastily scratched a message here^
It just says, `LeChuck.`
Oh, no!\255\003LeChuck's kidnapped the cartographer!
The poor little guy^\255\003Hey! He has my map!
It just says, `LeChuck.`
Everything looks all blurry.
Yeah, me too.
Oh no.
Where is that thing?
I swear I put it right here.
I hope I didn't lose it.
I'll never be able to afford a new one.
How am I supposed to work?
Dang.
I'm such a dope.
Can't I do anything right?
Aw, shoot.
I bet my mom would help me find it^\255\003^if she were alive.
For crying out loud.
I hope it didn't roll onto the floor^\255\003Nobody move!
I can't belive somebody would STEAL it^
I'd go for help, but I'm afraid to walk around like this.
I'm stuck here forever!
I'm going to starve to death in here!
I'm going to die hungry, blind, and alone.
Why me?
I never hurt anyone.
Rats!
This stinks.
If I don't find it soon I'm going to lose all the monocle-grabbing muscles in my eye.
Here monocle. Here boy.
Crud.
It's a metronome.
It's a metronome with a banana on it.
I don't want to get the monkey mad.
No thanks.\255\003Too many bad memories of piano lessons.
metronome
He's cute.
I don't want to hurt him.
I don't think he can use that right now.
Jojo already has a job.
Jojo's too into his music to notice.
I don't think that will work.
I wouldn't want to do that to an innocent monkey.
I don't want to disturb him.
I don't want to hurt him.
Jojo
It reads, `JOJO.\255\003Appearing nightly.\255\003No cover charge.`
Better leave it there. Don't want to hurt business.
advertisement
I should have listened to my mother--I should have practiced.
piano
What is he using to clean those glasses?!
barkeeper
booze
Yup, it's Largo's.
I don't want to do the bone dance here.
It's blank and kinda soggy.
Largo's been here.
Eeeeu. Yuck.
spit on paper
That's sick.
It's too soggy.
I don't want to touch it.
It's too soggy to do anything with.
I don't want to touch it with my hands.
spit dripping down wall
Hey! Hired help only.
door
It's a yellow drink in a broken glass.
yellow drink
It's a red drink in a broken glass.
red drink
It's a purple drink in a broken glass.
purple drink
It's a brown drink in a broken glass.
brown drink
It's an orange drink in a broken glass.
orange drink
It's an empty broken drinking glass.
I might hurt myself on the broken edges.
empty drinking mug
It's a crazy straw.
I don't want to suck that.
crazy straw
It's a green drink in a broken glass.
green drink
upper deck
It's a blue drink in a broken glass.
blue drink
I'm rich.
dime
\255\004\026\002 dimes
piece o' eight
\255\004\049\001 pieces o' eight
piece o' eight and a dime
piece o' eight and \255\004\026\002 dimes
\255\004\049\001 pieces o' eight and a dime
\255\004\049\001 pieces o' eight and \255\004\026\002 dimes
##### pieces o' eight@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@######
Hey! Hired help only.
How's business?
About that job^
Hey^ Ah^ How's the stew tonight?\255\009\024\000
Grog, please.
Bartender, get me a drink.
Who's this Kate person?
I saw your sign outside. What's the job?
Is that job still available?
Is that job available yet?
Wanna see my scar?
Nice place you have here. Well, see ya.
I must be off now.\255\009\026\000
Shaken, not stirred.\255\009\023\000
Ha ha ha!\255\003Maybe you'd like a Shirley Temple instead?
I'm old enough!\255\003Look at my beard!\255\009\024\000
Ha!\255\003That's the oldest trick in the book!
Tell you what--I'll let you have some near-grog.\255\003It doesn't have any alcohol in it^
^but it's just as nasty-smelling and foul-tasting as that stuff grown-ups drink.
Right on!
Oh, wait. What am I saying?
I just sold the last of it to Kate.\255\003Sorry.
Rats.
Of course, if you have some ID^
I'll need to see some ID for that.
Will you accept a temporary library card?
I must have left my ID in my other pants.\255\009\026\000
Who's this Kate person you mentioned?
In that case, I'll take my business elsewhere.\255\009\026\000
Aw, don't be sore, kid.\255\003It's the law.\255\003Let's just say I want to keep on the good side of it.
Why?\255\009\006\000
Sorry, kid.
You'll have to do better than that.\255\003No ID, no service.
It's the law.\255\003And let's just say I want to keep on the good side of it.
Why?\255\009\006\000
Let me see it.
Is Guybrush a French name?
No, actually it's a fictional name.
Oh.
Consultant?\255\003You look more like a flooring inspector to me.
Free-lance?\255\003Is that anything like a sanitary engineer?
No, not quite.
Well^
Unemployed??!\255\003Didn't I give you a job?
Yeah, but you fired me.\255\003Remember?
Oh yeah.
Uh^ It's an old card.
Oh.
Pirate?!\255\003We don't serve your type here.
Really?
No. Just jerking your leg.
Alright^\255\003Can I get you that drink now?
Yeah, I could really use it.
Will you have more near-grog later?
Who's this Kate person you mentioned?
Maybe later. I gotta go now.\255\009\026\000
Dang.\255\003Just when I thought I was going to do a little business!
Yeah, alright.
Ah, the Courageous Captain Kate Capsize^
Tough as steel, sharp as nails.
She rents her ship out^\255\003^does some free-lance pirating.\255\003Her only loyalty is to the highest bidder.
Don't get on her bad side.
Nope.\255\003Next shipment is a month from now.
OK, but gimmie back your empties^\255\003I'm running out of glasses.
Sure.
Now^
Name yer poison.
Whaddya got?
Well, we have some speciality drinks here at the Bloody Lip^\255\003Like:
Yellow Beard's Baby,\255\003Yellow Beard's Baby,\255\001Bloody Stump, and\255\003Yellow Beard's Baby,\255\001Bloody Stump, and\255\001Blue Whale.
I'll have Yellow Beard's Baby.
Give me a Bloody Stump.
Mix me up a Blue Whale.
Come to think of it, I'm not that thirsty.
Don't have the stomach for it, eh?
Well, you can try, but I don't think nature's on your side.\255\003Ha ha ha!
Just give me the drink, please.
Hey, I have to crack jokes.\255\003It's a union thing.
Here you go.
I can't. Chain saw's out of gas!\255\003Ha ha ha.
Hilarious.
Yeah. I crack myself up.
Here you go.
Sorry. Blender's not big enough!\255\003Ah ha ha!
But seriously^
There she blows!
You haven't even finished the one you got.\255\003Come on. Drink up.
Yep.\255\003Just canned my cook.\255\003You lookin' fer work?
Oh, yeah.\255\003I really should take that thing down.
I hired a new cook just this morning.
But, if things don't work out with him, I'll let you know.
Sure is.\255\003You want it?
Sorry.\255\003That guy I hired is doing just fine, so far.
Depends.\255\003Is there a good story behind it?
As a matter of fact, there is.\255\009\024\000
It's a story of the Ghost Pirate LeChuck and his gruesome demise--\255\009\023\000
Heard it.\255\003This is the one where he drinks too much root beer and burps so hard he explodes, right?
Not exactly^
Frankly, I don't care much for stories that promote moderation in drinking.\255\003I do have a business to run, you know.
Largo LaGrande has left Scabb Island for good!
Well, well^\255\003I guess all those laxatives I was slipping into his drinks finally got to him.
What?!?
Don't worry. I don't put them in all the drinks.
Are you interested?
Actually, I had to fire my last cook, so I don't have any fresh stew.
Stew?\255\003How gauche!\255\003We only serve gourmet chilled soups here.
In fact, our new cook has been working all day on a very special vichyssoise.
Let me go see how he's doing.
How's the vichyssoise, Bernard?
Excellent, sir. Won't you have a taste?
I think I will^
OH MY GOD!!!\255\003What kind of demented recipe book are you using?!?
Hee, hee, hee!
You're fired!
But sir!
Out!\255\003Get out of my sight!
This is the most disgusting, filthy mess I've ever seen in my life!
Look at all the hair!\255\003And what's this stuff?\255\003How am I ever going to get rid of this junk?
Well, here's your soup.
Uh^\255\009\024\000
^I'm really not that hungry anymore.
Dang.
It's just terrible^\255\003No one ever comes down here anymore.\255\003Largo's got all my regulars spooked.
Because the law around here isn't the law at all.\255\003It's Largo!
It's not so much Largo as it is who his boss was.
What do you mean?
I'd rather not say any more about it.
Please?
No.
Hey, can you cook?
A little.\255\009\006\000
How'd you like a career in the fast-paced world of pub-food cuisine?
Are you saying there's an opening in the kitchen?\255\009\023\000
Yeah. You interested?
Sure, I'll give it a shot.
No thanks. I like being my own boss.\255\009\027\000
I dunno. How much does it pay?\255\009\006\000
Can I have some time to think about it?\255\009\024\000
420 pieces of eight a week.\255\003First week paid in advance.
Great! The job is yours.
Here's a week's worth of wages.
Now, go strap on an apron and get to work.
Okeydokey.
Well, come back and see me if you change your mind.
Sure, sure.\255\003Take your time.
Oh good. You've come back.\255\003Are you interested in the job now?
Excuse me^
Yeah, boy?
And here's a complimentary crazy straw.
We give them to all new customers of The Bloody Lip.
You're supposed to be cooking.
I took my break. It's the law.
The knives needed sharpening.
I went out for a smoke.
I was out of milk.
I had to go to the bathroom.\255\003Don't worry, I washed my hands.
Uh, I had to buy some eggs.
I had to go to the grocery store.
Nice try.\255\003But not good enough.\255\003You're fired.
Hey!\255\003Don't bug the monkey!
Hey, what'd you do to my piano player?
Thanks.\255\003I've been running low on mugs.
You keep it.\255\003I hate rats.
He can't play piano in that state.\255\003Keep him until he's better.
Leave my piano player alone.
There's not enough meat on it for a good stew.
I don't need that for anything.
Actually, I don't drink.
No thanks.
This drink's on me.\255\003I don't charge my regulars.
That'll be one piece o' eight.
OK.
I don't have any money right now.
I'll let it go this time.
I don't have any money right now.
I'll spot you this time.
Go ahead and take my entertainment.\255\003Thanks for nothing, buddy.
You know, I can mix any drink there is^\255\003^make anything you could name^
^but I can't make the one thing that could really do this island some good.
What's that?
Largo
A voodoo doll of Largo LaGrande!
You there!
(Uh-oh.)
Give me my usual.
And put it in a real glass!
Fork over the dough, or you'll be serving Bloody Marys for a week.
From your nose.
That's all I have.
Well, you'd better have more tomorrow^
^or we might have to move this dump to a new location.
Like, say, the bottom of the ocean?
Ha ha ha.
Boy, you just gave him all your money?
I don't want to talk about it.
I think I should save this for later.\255\003Maybe I can impress Elaine with how far I can spit.
I think I should save this for later.\255\003I'd like to show Elaine how far I can loogie.
I don't like to mix my drinks like that.
That didn't do much.
I already have a drink like this.
I'll just put them together.
Boy^\255\003This stuff makes my spit thick.
Well, take it outside, then.\255\003No spittin' in here.
Yuck.
It's an acquired taste.
The barkeep would be mad if I left work early.
The barkeep might see me.
The barkeep might see me.
door
There's no glass in the window.
window
All I can see is water.
window
All I can see is water.
window
Yuck. It's all cans of fruit cocktail.
I hate fruit cocktail.
canned goods
He looks really into his cooking.
cook
It's a cold potato and leek soup.
Yuck. A rat's been swimming in it.
Yuck. There's a rat swimming in it.
It's a cold potato and leek soup.
I've never been much for rodent seasonings.
It's too heavy.
vichyssoise avec rat
Good thing this is a cold soup.
I don't know how good that would taste.
vichyssoise@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
The fire's out.
It's already closed.
I'm no cook.
I'll bet it weighs half a ton.
stove
Sharp.
That doesn't seem to work.
I don't want to dull the blade.
I don't want to gunk up the blade.
My scoutmaster would kill me if he saw me use a knife like that.
knife
vichyssoise avec rat hairs
vichyssoise avec rat
Excuse me.
Don't bug me. I'm cooking.
I said, `Leave me alone!`
I'm trying to work.
I can't concentrate with you talking to me.
Guybrush
Guybrush
Guybrush
I don't want to steal his bell.\255\003I feel bad enough setting his alligator free.
I don't think I'd get away with that.
Be with you in a second.
bell
Busy guy.
Time is money.
Save your money. The inn's full.
Don't bug me. I'm busy.
innkeeper
You're supposed to leave these things open.
I'd have to have a room first.
guest registry
stairway
Isn't that cute.
I need that!
I have better things to do than beat up baby reptiles.
I think all he wants right now is sleep.
I could lose a finger doing that!
alligator
It's tied to the post.
It's securely fastened.
rope
I love Cheese Squigglies.
Cheese Squigglies
Cheese Squigglies!\255\003One of my favorites!
I don't need any more.
bowl@@@@@@@@@@@@@
door
Cheese Squigglies
Hmmm^ only one guest.
Yeah, but that dang Largo eats like thirty.
Excuse me, I'd like a room please.
Sorry, we only have one and it's full.
Hold it right there!
That's a private room.\255\003No going up there.
I told you, no going up there!
Hey!\255\003How'd old Pegbiter get loose?
I'd better go catch him^\255\003^before he catches somebody else.
There's strange little white bugs all over it.
I don't think I should do that.
toupee
I don't like styrofoam.\255\003It's bad for the environment.
styrofoam head
It's stuck open.
It's already open.
It's empty.
drawer
It's a bit on the tattered side.
dresser
laundry claim ticket
door
He's short, but he's mean.
Largo LaGrande
Nice April-fresh\015 scent!
clean, white shirt
clean, white, folded shirt
Messy, messy, messy.
I'm not sleepy, and that bed is disgusting.
I don't have time for that now.
Largo could be back any minute!
bed
They look pretty old.
I'd better not touch them^\255\003It looks like somebody's trying to grow penicillin.
leftovers
It's little, mean-looking, and ugly.\255\003Just like Largo.
Maybe I'll just use these regulation voodoo pins that came with the doll instead.
I should use the pins the voodoo lady gave me.
I think Largo's out of voodoo range by now.
I think Largo's out of voodoo range by now.
I think Largo's out of voodoo range.
voodoo doll
Sharp.
I don't want to pin him.
I don't want to disturb them.
I don't want to pin her.
I don't think I should pin that.
pins
Nice door.
It doesn't seem to stay closed.\255\009\025\000
door
It's a bucket full of mud sitting on the door jamb.
shakey bucket on door jamb
I don't see anything special about it.\255\003Then again, I never really have understood art.
painting
I don't like to get naked in other men's rooms.
dressing screen
YOW!
Take that, you stumpy little dim-witted toad!
What?!?
Who do you think you are?
I'm Guybrush Threepwood.\255\003People don't always recognize me^
That's why I carry this.
I'm gonna to tear you limb from limb!
How are you DOING that?
Largo LaGrande, you are a no-good, vicious, two-bit thug.\255\003I command you to give me back my money and leave this island!
Ha! I already spent all your money!
Oh.
Well, I command you to leave this island!
Just you try and make--
YOUCH!!!
AIIIEEE!!!
That'll teach you to mess with the slayer of the Ghost Pirate LeChuck!
Guybrush
What's that?
YOU killed LeChuck?
As a matter of fact, I did.\255\003Quite an interesting story, actually^
The fortune-teller said SHE did in LeChuck.
She did, did she?
Does SHE have one of THESE?
Is that^
Yes. LeChuck's beard.
Still alive and wriggling.
Let me see that^
Boy, it IS alive!
We've been looking for a living piece of LeChuck for years!
Now we can bring him back to life!
Look out world!
The most fearsome pirate of all time will soon sail the seas again!
Whoops.\255\009\024\000
Guybrush
Largo
HEY! What are you doing in here?!?
Get out of my room!
And stay out!
Stop bothering me!
You're a pain!
Why are you following me around?
Every time I turn around you're there.
I can't believe you're in here again.
Didn't I kick you out of here before?!
It's people like you who make people like me who we are.
You're invading my privacy.
A man's room is his castle.
Why can't you leave me alone?!?
I oughta beat you up for coming in here.
You have some nerve, barging in here.
How dare you come in here again.
Get out of my face!
Get out of here!
Get away from me!
Oops.
Yikes.
Sorry.
Bye.
Guybrush
I don't want to be that close to him.
I think I hear Largo coming.
Largo
Hey! What the HELL?\255\003What's going on?
Largo
Whoever did this is gonna pay!
I can't get this thing off my head.
When I get this thing off my head somebody's gonna be real sorry.
Maybe I shouldn't have done that.\255\003He looked pretty steamed.
bucket o' mud
Largo
Who let you into my room?!!
I ^ uh ^ thought it was my room?\255\009\025\000
Well, it ain't.
So, get the $#*&# out of here!
HEY!
GET OUT!
GO AWAY!
Stop pestering me!
You again?!!
I was just leaving.
What are you doing in here again?!
Get out of my room!!
Scram, kid!
Leave me alone!
I thought I told you to get out!
It doesn't seem to stay closed.
I did a pretty good job on it.
That wouldn't be wise.
There's not much left to polish.
That would be redundant.
It would take forever to hack through it with this knife.
No need for that now.
peg leg
Cute little fella!
captured rat
trapped, cowering rat
I think it's yo-yo string.
string
I've played with that enough.
I think I'm too clumsy to hold the stick and tie a knot at the same time.
stick
One of my favorites!
The box is closed.
That wouldn't taste very good.
He looks too scared to eat.
Cheese Squigglies
What are YOU looking at?
They're sleeping peacefully.
I think he wanted me to polish it FOR him.
I think they'd be mad at me for trapping their rat^
Somehow, I don't feel like they've earned it.
I doubt they'd be interested.
Men of Low Moral Fiber (pirates)
It's a bucket full of mud.
It's just a bucket.
That doesn't seem to work.
I don't like mud in my drinks.
I don't want to drink from a bucket.
There isn't enough spit to put in the bucket.
I hate vichyssoise.
That won't do anything.
I don't think that will work.
bucket@@@@@@@@
It's propped up by the twig.
It's closed.
It won't fit in my pocket.
box
Nice April-fresh\015 scent!
Not my size.
pearly-white bra@@@
He looks nice enough.
I've already cleaned that shirt.
It's not my size.
Young man, you should put that back where you dug it up.
Hey! I don't launder money here!\255\003Try investing in a casino.
What would I do with that?
Mad Marty@@@
street
It's sparkly clean.
No ticket, no laundry.
clean laundry
`No, we don't clean leather.`
sign
`Not responsible for lost buttons or hooks.`
sign
`Not responsible for stains left on clothing.`
sign
laundry guy
Largo
I'll see what we have ready for Mr. LaGrande.
Ah^here it comes.
What do you know about Largo LaGrande?
Who are you?
I've got a laundry-type question.
I've got a laundry-type question.
I've got a laundry-type question.
I'd like to pick up some clothes.
Oops. I thought I wanted to talk to you, but I don't.
I guess I'll be going now.
I made Largo leave this island.
You made cards out of sand?\255\003Do I care?
I don't know anything about cargo or contraband!\255\003I'm clean, clean, clean!
Sure, sonny, I can get out stew.\255\003That's easy.\255\003I can also extract grog, spit, and swamp-mud.
That's because I'm Maaaad Marty.
I'm mad about getting your clothes the cleanest they can be.
Mad Marty
Shoot.
Would you be able to get out ketchup?
Do you do alterations here?
Actually, nothing. I don't care about clean clothes.
Get out? Catch up?\255\003What do you want me to do?
Uh^ nothing.
Alter rations?\255\003You mean, change the numbers on your food stamps?\255\003You've got some nerve!
I'm sorry.
No, I don't have wheat loaves.
I didn't think you would.
Do you have your claim ticket, sonny?
Got it right here.
I'd like to keep my claim ticket for taxes.
It was stolen.
I must have left it in my other pants.
I dropped it in my grog and it melted.
Mom threw it out when she cleaned my room.
I lost it while being keelhauled.
NO, I DON'T HAVE MY CLAIM TICKET.
NO, I DON'T HAVE MY CLAIM TICKET.
You don't have to shout at me.\255\003I can hear you.
But, I can't give you your clothes without a claim ticket.
Taking it bowlin' was a dumb thing to do.
Why'd you trade it for chocolate-covered ants?
The log welted it?
Well, now that is a good excuse.
But I can't give you your clothes without a claim ticket.
What?? You beaned your mom with a broom?
You should treat her better than that.
Your dog got mauled?
What does that have to do with a claim ticket?
Oh, never mind.
What? Your wife has fake lashes?
She got your claim ticket, or something?
No. Forget it.
Great.
You're making me mad, Marty.
That's my name--don't wear it out.
Look. I want it free^and I want it tonight.
Party tonight? Sure, I'll come.
I'm talking about getting my laundry.
Don't worry about me. I've been dry for three years.
I said, `I need it back tonight.`
What? Yeah, we'll stay out all night.
This is useless.
You tell him I'll be back to pick it up^ or else.
I know it's here somewhere.
I saw it a while ago.
Now where was it?
I think I'd better make myself scarce instead.
Not now!\255\003Can't you see there's an emergency happening here?
Hey^
Hey, guys^
Yo^
Yoo hoo^
Ahem.
Excuse me.
Yoo hoo.
WAKE UP!
What is it?
Hi.
Long time no see.
Remember me? I'm Guybrush.
Did you ever get that circus started?
Do we know you?
I'm Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty pirate.
I'm Guybrush, the man who rid the world of LeChuck.
I'm Guybrush. You tried to sell me the minutes of a PTA \254\008 meeting in the last game, claiming it was a map.
I'm Guybrush, and I was just leaving.
How nice for you.
Sure, you are.
Map?\255\003Err^\255\003I don't know what you're talking about.
Fine.
No, really--
Why did you wake us up, Gorbush?
What is it this time, Graybrash?
What is it this time, Gooblush?
What is it this time, Flybrunch?
What is it this time, Frygoosh?
What are you guys doing up there?
How come you have to perform on that ledge?
What happened to your leg?
Say, I've got some time to get that polish now.
Is that your rat?
See you later.
We're performing.
That's right.
Performing.
In our current work we portray man's response to global environmental issues of a changing world.
It happened during a performance.
When he lost the leg, Frank was brilliantly showing the inseparability of the path man walks^\255\003^from the food chain.
The symbolism of the cheese was essential.
Yes.
We call him `Muenster Monster,` because of his insatiable passion for cheese.
We can scarcely contain our anticipation.
Ah^
^to show the precarious nature of the situation.\255\003^so to speak.
Right, right.
Oh, I see.
I think you're overlooking the potential symbolism \254\008 to be gained by your closeness to the earth.
Sounds like a crock of monkey snot to me.
You do?
Oh, good.
Err^
But^
Great.\255\003Here's some money for the polish.
All right, you got us.
We're really up here because^
^well^
We're afraid to come down.
What?
What's the word for it, Frank?
Err^\255\003Ahh^\255\003Hmm^
Dirtaphobia?
Groundaphobia?
Terrafirmaphobia?
Stupidity?
It's the opposite of acrophobia.\255\003Something like `orcaphobia.`
Fear of killer whales?
Fear of strange vegetables?
Sounds more like `workaphobia` to me.
Say what you will, we're not coming down.
You know, this leg is looking sort of dingy.\255\003Would you get some polish over at the woodsmith's and polish it for me?
Sure.
Give me the money for the polish.
Actually, I'm kind of busy right now.
Thanks.\255\003Here's some money for the polish.
OK.
OK.
That's what we do for a living now.
You see, after our circus failed, we started a pirate catering business on nearby Phatt Island.
`The Sacking Lunch.`\255\003It was quite lucrative.
Why aren't you still doing that?
What does this have to do with `performing?`
Then what happened?
I'm getting to that.
The governor of the island made us an offer we, er^
^couldn't refuse.\255\003So we sold him the business.
Yeah?
What did you do with the money?
But what does this have to do with `performing?`
We're getting to that.
We sank the money into one of those new-fangled glass-bottomed boats.
We wanted to take passengers on sight-seeing trips^
^and search for a place called Drinky Island in our spare time.
Boy, did we ever want to get there!
Aside from the obvious reason, we had inside information that Drinky was in fact the resting place of the legendary treasure of^\255\003Big Whoop!
Big Whoop? I'm looking for that, too!
Big Whoop? Er, did you find anything?
I don't see what this has to do with `performing.`
Well, I hope your luck is better than ours.
Not exactly.
We're getting to that.
You see, we got a bit of a raw deal on the boat.
Seems the salesman didn't have any glass for the bottom^\255\003^so he just left a gaping hole there.
By the time we noticed, we were taking on water fast!
We ended up stranded on a tiny desert island.
When do we get to the performing part?
How much longer is this story?
I think it's past my bedtime.
We met a philosopher on the island, and he told us something which changed our lives.
That you're a pack of loonies?
That you should bore passers-by to tears with \254\008 long stories?
What?! What is it?! What did he say?! Tell me already!
He told us that all the world is a stage and that we are merely players.
So, we became performance artists.
Hey, leave that alone.
Sorry, is this your bucket?
Do you think you could let me have this bucket?
OK.
No.
Please?
Pretty please?
Pretty pretty please?
Pretty please with sugar on top?
Pretty please with sugar and a cherry?
Pretty please with sugar, nuts, and a cherry?
Pretty please with sugar, nuts, a cherry, \254\008 and chocolate sprinkles?
I really need it.
I really really need it.
I really desperately need it.
It's a matter of life and death.
If you don't give it to me I'll never speak to you again.
I'll be your best friend.
I'll be your best friend forever and ever.
Aw, come on, be a pal.
I didn't want that old bucket anyway.
Oh^\255\003^all right.
Well^\255\003^no.
So, you won't mind if I take it?
I guess not.
Thanks!
Here's a piece of eight for your trouble.
I'd give you a piece of eight, but I'm fresh out.
Aaaiiieee!!!\255\003My leg!\255\003Help!\255\003Someone get a doctor!
Muenster Monster!
--squeak--
Go get help!
I'd better beat it in case those guys wake up!
Hey!\255\003SHUT UP!
No thanks. I don't touch other people's stools.
I don't have time to sit.
stool
It's too heavy to move.
I'm not a carpenter.
workbench
It's too high.
peg leg
I can't reach it.
I can't reach it.
fish plaque
I don't have time to sit.
I may be a lazy guy, but carrying around my own place to sit is too much.
chair
I don't think I should nail that.
I don't think I should nail that.
Good practice, but I think I need some wood.
Nothing like a pocket full of nails to keep you on your toes.
Help yourself to as many as you'd like.
nails
It says `Out on house call.`\255\003`Please come again.`
I don't want it.
I don't feel like it.
sign
I can't. He's lacquered it onto the wall.
calendar
door
He looks buff.
I don't think he'd like that.
Hey, nice stick.
Thanks. Don't need it.
No, thanks.\255\003I've got my own.
You keep them.\255\003I've got plenty.
No, thanks.\255\003Got plenty of my own.
Sorry, I don't give refunds.
I can't do anything with that slimy thing.
No, thanks.
woodsmith
I don't want to polish that.
If only I could use this stuff on my lines^
wood polish
I don't think I should hammer that.
I don't think I should hammer that.
Good practice, but I think I need some wood.
It says, `Woody.`
Just bring the hammer back when you're done with it.
hammer
It's too high.
peg leg
It's too high.
peg leg
Excuse me^ could you take a look at this?
Hmmm^ looks like a valuable antique.\255\003Be careful with it.
Looks fine to me.
Hmmm^ looks like a massive fracture.
If you're gonna be using this, I'd better reinforce it for ya.
Here ya go, Boy.\255\003Steel shank^\255\003Alloy splints^\255\003Better than new.
It says, `Woody.`
That's me.
Pounds and pounds of nails.
Comfortable looking chair.
Nice catch!
Oh boy, it's Buzzsaw Girl!
Nice, sturdy workbench.
What a cute little stool.
That's about the best peg leg I've ever seen.
Thanks, I made it myself.
Nice peg leg.
Thanks, I made it myself.
Nice craftsmanship.
I made it myself.
Hey! Don't touch those!
Hey! Don't touch that!
Get away from there!
Oh, no you don't!
Get your hands away from there!
What do you think you're doing?
It's not a toy.
I need all of them.
It's not for sale.
I fought hard for that baby.
No one touches her but me.
Everything's laid out just how I need it.
It's adjusted to my height.
Ahem^
Yeah?
What's the problem with that Largo guy?\255\009\026\000
Nice apron. Are you some sort of chef?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck \254\008 could chuck wood?
Could I buy some wood polish?
I'd just like to browse, thanks.
I'd like to look around a bit.
Sure thing.
That's one piece of eight.
Anything else?
Largo LaGrande will never bother you again!
Yeah, I heard Marty stuck a bunch of pins in his underwear or something^\255\003^drove him right out of town.
No, it was me!
You?\255\003What were you doing with Largo's underwear?
Ummm, well^\255\003Oh, never mind.
He really goes against my grain!
I'd like to make an end table out of him^\255\003but I don't have the guts.
With all my tools, I'm still unable to create the one thing that could do this island some good.
Like, an all-night tattoo parlor?
No, like a voodoo doll of Largo LaGrande!
Oh.
No, I'm a woodsmith.\255\003Which gives one of us an excuse for dressing funny.
A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood.
But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck \254\008 some amount of wood, what amount of wood \254\008 would a woodchuck chuck?
Oh. Shut up.
Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?
A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could \254\008 chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would \254\008 chuck wood.
Oh. Shut up.
Oh. Shut up.
Hey, you started it.
OK, but don't touch anything.
Thanks for returning that.
Funny.\255\003That looks just like my hammer ^\255\003^ which I have been missing.
Could you just put it back on the hook for me?
Just put it back on the hook and I won't press charges.
`Stan's Kozy Krypts\015 -- A Place to Spend Eternity, Not a Fortune.`
It's locked shut with a big, rusty lock.
It's already unlocked.
crypt
`THE QUAGMYRES\255\001no trespassing`
tomb
tombstone
tombstone
tombstone
`These spots reserved for our privileged future customers.`
tombstones
graves
`Here Lies Hank Plank^\255\003Does anybody recognize that name?
He didn't have any money on him when he died, and somebody's got to pay for the funeral.\255\001 -Stan`
cross
`Stan's Casual Crosses\015:\255\003For graves that don't need to dress up.`
crosses
`THE RICKETTS\255\001no trespassing`
tomb
`WARNING: Quarantine tomb!\255\003Inhabitants died of Green-Tongue Fever!`
But then again, why would I want to go in there?
tomb
path
`Here Lie the Gordo Brothers^\255\003^too big for any ship.\255\003Let's hope the earth can hold them.`
tombstones
`THE GROUTS\255\001no trespassing`
tomb
path
`Here Lies Nibbles the Dog.\255\003He was a bad dog. We're glad he's dead.`
cross
It looks like it's been sealed shut.
There's no keyhole. The door's been sealed shut.
`The Grave of the Unknown Pirate.`
`The Grave of the Unknown Cabin Boy.`
`The Grave of the Unknown Drunk Guy We Found Face Down in his Own Vomit on the Beach.
tombstone
tombstone
tombstone
tombstone
This ground looks too hard and dried-up to dig.
I don't think there's much of old Jim left to dig up.
grave
This ground looks too hard and dried-up to dig.
I don't think I need to see the remains of Jean Louise
grave
I don't want any more gross bones.
grave
This ground looks too hard and dried-up to dig.
grave
cemetery
cemetery
Gross.
bone
`Here lies Daredevil Jim McDow.\255\003Hand of steel, leg of wood ^\255\001^ Jim took every risk he could.
A life of action--that was Jim's.\255\001Too bad he ran out of limbs.`
`No man commanded Jean Louise.\255\001Not on land, and not on water.
Jean did whatever he did please,\255\001Until he kissed the gunner's daughter.`
`Marco Largo LaGrande,\255\001Hell on sea or sand.\255\003The good news is, he's dead.\255\001The bad news is, he bred.`
`There once was a girl named Carrie\255\003Who thought that she soon should marry.\255\003She went into town\255\003And flirted around.\255\003She didn't get wed she got buried.`
This is creepy feel'n.
Guybrush
Guybrush
Largo
I'd swear on my grandfather's grave, something weird is going on.
Guybrush
I don't think it works through wood.
coffin
I don't think it works through wood.
coffin
I don't think it works through wood.
coffin
I don't think it works through wood.
coffin
I don't think it works through wood.
coffin
It's already open.
Close myself in down here? No thanks.
cemetery
Talk about your slipshod internments.
No way. That might bring them all down.
feet
`Old Bill the acrobat,\255\001He lies in here dead.\255\003He died like we buried him^\255\003Propped up on his head.`
I wouldn't want to upset its balance.
coffin
Silty.
ashes
`Here Lies Commander Buttonhead^\255\003Small but Spunky Nautical Leader`
`Here Lies Rapp Scallion^\255\003Courageous Sea-Cook, and Reported Discoverer of Big Whoop`
`Here Lies Barney Gout^\255\003Mauled by His Own Parrot`
`Here Lies Fester Leach^\255\003Boy Could He Spit`
`Here Lies Old Skunk-Eye^\255\003You Think He Smells Bad Now?`
It's inscribed with a quote^
I don't think there's anyone of interest in there.
I think I should just let him rest in peace now.
I don't think there's anyone of interest in there.
I'm not opening up one of these without good reason!
Hmmm.
-Rapp Scallion
-Commander Buttonhead
-Barney Gout
-Fester Leach
-Old Skunk-Eye
`Happiness is a warm Manatee.`
`Kiss me, I've got scurvy.`
`Aaarrrrrrrg!`
`Violets are blue, roses are red^\255\003We're coming aboard. Prepare to eat lead.`
`Mouthwash? We don't need no stinking mouthwash!`
It's a piece to the map of Big Whoop!
It's only a fourth of a map--not too useful.
map piece
Oooh, looks like human ashes.
I don't think I need anymore.
I think I've taken all I should from this grave.
Why should I bother with this guy's ash?
Well, OK.
coffin@@@@@@@@
coffin@@@@@@@@
coffin@@@@@@@@
There's something in it.
coffin
coffin
It's a piece to the map of Big Whoop!
It's not mine to use.
map piece
`Steamin' Weenies!`
I don't think it'll work there.
key
Guybrush
ashes
ashes
ashes
I'd better not.
What are you bugging me for?\255\003This is easy mode!
Whew!\255\003That was a close one!
If I didn't have my flame-resistant apron on, I would've been killed!
Well?
You WERE killed, Rapp.
Uh^ Where exactly did you buy that apron, Rapp?
Yep. Close one, alright. Say, about that Big Whoop deal^
Yeah, well, be more careful next time. See ya.
Stan's Previously-Owned Restauraunt Supply^\255\003Why do you ask?
Look, Rapp^
Big Whoop?\255\003Ha ha ha!\255\003I'll take that secret with me to my grave!
Oh, you have it with you? Great!
I got some bad news for you, Rapp^
I guess I'm out of luck, then. Well, bye.
What are you talking about?
Well, Rapp, it's like this^
^You're dead.
What?!?
You're deader than dirt.
Your life is well done.
You've shivered your last timber.
You're the prep-cook at the pearly gates.
You're two weeks past the expiration date.
I'm^\255\003^dead?
Cold as leftover pork chops.
Stiff as a frozen foot-long.
Green as year-old pickle relish.
Crusty as a stale bun.
Sealed up and covered with goo like a canned ham.
But, I'm not ready to die!
I feel my soul is not at peace.\255\003There is something I must do before I pass on.
Like, you mean, finish War and Peace?
Perfect plumps-when-cooked weiner technology?
Produce an heir to the Steamin' Weenie fortune?
Pass along your part of the map to Big Whoop?
No.\255\003I just have this nagging feeling I left the gas on in my restaurant.\255\003It's driving me crazy.
Did I mention I'm looking for Big Whoop?
I'll check the gas for you, Rapp.
Did I mention you're dead?
Sorry. Didn't mean to bother you. Rest in peace.
Give me the map and I'll check the gas.
You were right. The gas was on.
Sorry to bother you. Rest in peace.
Did you turn it off?
Uh^\255\003^no. Was I supposed to?
Oh, will there ever be relief for my tortured soul?
I turned it off.
Thanks.
You can have my part of the map to Big Whoop--\255\003--but only if you do me a favor first.
Could you check the gas in my weenie hut for me?
What do you care about it? You're dead!
Sure, I'll check it.
You were right. The gas was on.
Give me the map and I'll check the gas for you.
Sorry. I've got better things to do.
Pleeeeease?
Check the gas and I'll throw you the whip.\255\003I mean, give you the map.
Check the gas and I'll give you the map.
Oh yeah?\255\003Well^ me too.
Thanks. Here's the key.
I guess where I'm going I won't need this map anyway.
Thanks.
Now I can rest in the folds of the earth^\255\003^like a Steamin' Weenie in a soft, fresh bun.
Ahhh^
Silty.
Maybe I should just let him rest in peace now.
shore
path
Creepy, but apparently seaworthy.
I'd better get in it first.
I don't want to pull it out of the water.\255\003It might be covered with jellyfish and swampy parasites.
coffin
`International House of Mojo`
sign
Looks murky.
I don't want to touch it with my hands.
swamp
Looks murky.
I don't want to touch it with my hands.
swamp
Looks murky.
I don't want to touch it with my hands.
swamp
To: The Ghost Pirate LeChuck\255\003c/o LeChuck's Island Getaway & Spa\015\255\003Contents: Misc. Voodoo Supplies.
crate
shack
Guybrush
Walk to
Guybrush
I think there's something moving in here.
Hey, Rich. I could use a hand with this one.
Looks like another box of live snakes.
Sounds like it, too.
Well, let's get it on the truck.
Guybrush
I don't want any more mud.
bucket o' mud
Wow. A whole bucket o' mud^\255\003^and it's mine, all mine!
Row to
In the small crate of voodoo supplies that would be his home for the next five days and nights, Guybrush is forced to eat bat lungs and eel bladders to stay alive.
Eventually, Guybrush and the rest of the slithering cargo are delivered to the very doorstep of the Caribbean's most fearsome villain, living or dead: The Ghost Pirate LeChuck!
Largo
Ah^\255\003LeChuck's crate of voodoo supplies.
You know, we usually don't deliver out this far^
You guys bucking for a tip?
Well, we figured since^
Well you figured wrong.\255\003LeChuck don't tip nobody!
Gee^
^what a butt.
Guybrush
Ick.\255\003I hate snakes.
It appears to be yo-yo string.
I'll just take a little.
string
They're unlabeled.
I don't think I'm qualified to handle them.\255\003And anyway, they're gross.
bottles
Creepy, but apparently seaworthy.
coffin
`Wart Remover`
jar@@@@@@@@@@
`Cat De-Wormer`
jar@@@@@@@@@@@
`Ash-2-Life\015\255\003The Un-Cremating Cream.`
jar@@@@@@@@@
`Skink Toes`
jar@@@@@@@@
`Eau d'Mojo\015\255\003The mystical aroma of Voodoo captured in a delightful potpourri.`
jar@@@@@@@@@
`Bat Wax`
jar@@@@@
`Fruit Cocktail -- In Heavy Syrup`
jar@@@@@@@@@@@@
`Spider Lungs`
jar@@@@@@@@@@
`Golden Tongue\015\255\003The five-day treatment plan that helps you talk to women.`
jar@@@@@@@@@@@@
`Tender-touch Pirate Powder\015\255\003Prevents stump chaffing and eye-patch rash.`
jar@@@@@@@@@@@
Looks like bound editions of `Voodoo Quarterly.`
Nyah. That stuff's way too technical for me.
books
`Display Model`
It appears to be bolted to the table.
skull
I don't want it to go stale.
I don't think it was meant for that.
`Ash-2-Life\015\255\003The Un-Cremating Cream -- Now in a convenient powder!`
Ash-2-Life\015
`Great recipes from the International House of Mojo.\255\003Page 139
Aunt Helen's Special Voodoo Doll Mix:`
`Something of the Thread^\255\003^something of the Head^
^something of the Body^\255\003^and something of the Dead.`
voodoo shopping list
`International House of Mojo.`
It's got some stuff in it^
^a doll^
^a beard^
^some underwear^
^a bone^
^a used hankie^
^and that's about it.
It's open.
I don't think that will do anything.
I don't think that will do much good in there.
juju bag
`Instructions:\255\0031) light fuse\255\0032) throw at target
3) get ready for LOVE`
No.\255\003I want to save it for Elaine.
love bomb
`Close cover before striking.`
There are no more matches.
I'm no pyromaniac.
It's lit already.
That's the last match.
lit dynamite
I'd better not.
matches
Guybrush
Guybrush Threepwood.\255\003It's been a long time since you last came to see me.
Back again, Mr. Threepwood?
Wally sent me to pick up some love potion.\255\009\026\000
I got a book of voodoo recipes for you.
I really could use that re-vitalizing creme.\255\009\023\000
Hey, I've got some ashes for that potion.
About that jar I was looking at^\255\009\026\000
Do I know you from somewhere?\255\009\025\000
What kind of ingredients do you need for the doll?
About that voodoo doll^
Why don't you just put a curse on Largo?\255\009\006\000
Tell me about this Largo guy.
How's business?
I'd like to have my fortune read.
Just wanted to say hi. Well, see ya.
Well, that's enough voodoo for me. Bye.
It'll be much better once you use that voodoo doll on Largo!
Yeah, it worked pretty well, didn't it?\255\003I still have the touch.
Sorry, no returns on personalized voodoo products.\255\003If it's not working I suggest you get closer to your subject.
Oh, OK.
Tell him I said to enjoy, but to be careful.
It's powerful stuff.\255\003Wouldn't want that little guy getting hurt--
Wait!\255\003I just felt a sudden disturbance in the Force^
As if a tiny, tiny voice just called out in fear^\255\003^and then hastily scratched a message in a table.
I think Wally's in trouble, and I think LeChuck has something to do with it!
Uh-oh.\255\003I'd better go check.
Ah, we often forget those who help us most.
We do?
It was I who told you how to do away with LeChuck.\255\003I told you where to find the voodoo antiroot^\255\003^and how to turn it into the powerful ghost-dissolving potion you needed.
Oh, yeah. Now I remember.
Very good. Many hexes this week.\255\003Saved many people from the evil eye.\255\003Made many pieces of eight, although Largo took most of them.
He's a weak little man who bullies this whole island around.\255\003Most people are afraid of him because he was once LeChuck's right-hand man.
But LeChuck's history. I got rid of him myself.
True evil can never be destroyed completely.\255\003You will see.
I see a hard road for you, Guybrush.\255\003Things didn't get easy for you when you defeated LeChuck, did they?
People only wanted more.\255\003You had to keep proving yourself over and over.
The pressure kept mounting until you lost it all--
Your fame^ your fortune^\255\003^the one you love.
OK, that's enough.
I've tried.\255\003My most powerful magic lies in voodoo dolls.\255\003But to make an effective doll I need some items from Largo's person, and no one's brave enough to go get them for me.
Are you willing to help me make one?
Uh, maybe.
To make it work you need to bring me some personal artifacts of the victim.
One from each of the four basic voodoo groups:
Something of the Thread^\255\003^something of the Head^
^something of the Body^
^and something of the Dead.
Hey, that almost rhymes.
For the Thread, I need a piece of Largo's clothing.
And a lock of hair will do for the Head.
Bring me a sample of fluid from his Body,
And from his Dead relatives you must acquire some remnant of a corpse.
Here--take this shopping list.
Thanks.
Do you have any of those ingredients with you?
I've got the real stuff back here.
That's one of my most powerful potions.\255\003But I only give it out in cases of serious need.
That's one of my most powerful potions.\255\003Brings the dead back to life.
Yes?
I'll take it!
I could do lots of cool stuff with that!
That doesn't sound quite proper.
I was just looking at it. Can I go now?
There are some complications.
It only works on ashes, and the resurrection is only temporary.
Plus, you need to bring me a sample of the subject's ashes before I can mix you up a batch.
I have the ashes of somebody I'd like resurrected right here.
Boy, voodoo's complicated.
Rules are rules.
I can't make you any of that potion without some ash from the subject's remains.
Bring them to me.
Now, there's only one small problem^\255\003I forgot the recipe.
What?!
It's been a long time.\255\003I don't have that cookbook anymore.
I've got a book of voodoo recipes!
Good!\255\003How many crab scalps does it say to use?
Thirteen!
Good.\255\003That's just what I thought when I whipped up this experimental batch.
Thanks.
Remember, just a dab'll do ya.
I told you, I don't have that cookbook anymore.
What a drag.
Hey, I got a license!
So be it.
Now, go!
I've given you all the help I can, for now.
The rest is up to you.
Have you brought me the ingredients?
Have you brought me the final ingredient?
Have you brought me any more ingredients?
I have his toupee.
I have some of his spit.
I have the bone of his Grandfather.
I have this \255\006\044\001.
I'll bring them later.
I'll bring it later.
I'll bring you more later.
Hmmm^ Not quite a part of his head^\255\003But maybe I can get some scalp fragments from it.
spit encrusted paper
Excellent.
Perfect.
Yes, that will work.
Good.
You may keep the paper.
Do you have the final ingredient?
Have you brought me any other ingredients?
At last!\255\003Now I can make a voodoo doll to be reckoned with!\255\003Let me get my juju bag.
And now for the ingredients^
A dandruff flake from Largo's head!
A single piece of Largo's thread!
A drop of fluid from his body!
A single chip off the bone of the dead!
And finally, some miscellaneous voodoo herbs and seasonings, including monosodium glutamate.
This ought to be good.
Two! Four! Six! Eight!
Who do we assassinate?
Largo! Largo! Yeah!
Hey! That looks just like him!
Thanks, Voodoo Lady.
One more thing^\255\003Some of the ingredients were not the optimum specimens.\255\003It should still work, but it will have a limited range.
You will have to get close to Largo.\255\003Very close.
Nope. What was that last one?
Nope. Could you tell me what they were again?
Just like the list says^
Something from his body^
Something from his clothes^
Some of his bodily fluids^
Something from his ancestors^
^that's all we need to complete the doll.
^that's all.
I'm afraid it's true, Guybrush.\255\003If they have any animated tissue, they can reanimate his whole body.
But I blew his body into a zillion gooey pieces!
Not his body, Guybrush.\255\003You destroyed his spirit form.\255\003His body was safely buried far away.
But by now it must be^
Rotten?\255\003Partially decomposed?\255\003Yes.
And I don't think that's going to make him any more pleasant to deal with.
He's going to be looking for me!
Yes.
He's going to try to kill me!!!
Undoubtedly.
What can I do?\255\009\006\000
Where can I hide?\255\009\006\000
Can you give me something to protect me?
Can you just kill me now and get it over with?
You're already doing all you can.
What's that?
There is no place to hide.
But there is a way out.
What is it?
You're doing it right now.
Fiddling with the change in my pocket?
He has magic just as strong as mine.\255\003Nothing I could give you would protect you.
You must try not to lose hope, Guybrush.
There is a way out.
Hunting for Big Whoop.
Oh yeah, I was doing that, wasn't I?
Big Whoop isn't just a treasure.\255\003It contains the secret to another world.
Find that world and you'll be able to escape LeChuck forever.
But I know so little about Big Whoop^
Take this book.
`\255\006\100\000`\255\003Where'd you get this?
I checked it out at the Phatt City Library.\255\003I foresaw your need.
Gee, thanks.
I used your name when I checked it out, so be sure and return it when you're through reading.\255\003The overdue fines in Phatt City are pretty steep.
Gee^\255\003^thanks.
Guybrush, you don't have any time to waste!\255\003I can offer you no more help.
Your destiny is in your own hands now.
Guybrush
Hey! That's just a display model!
No thanks, I don't need it.
I don't have any warts.
I don't have a cat.
After all, it is only a display model.
^and I feel bad for the skinks.
Voodoo's not known for its good smells.
I don't even want to know what it's used for.
I don't like heavy syrup.
^and I feel bad for the spiders.
I don't have that problem anymore.
I don't have an eyepatch or any missing limbs.
wart remover
cat de-wormer
Ash-2-life\015
skink toes
Eau d'Mojo\015
bat wax
fruit cocktail
spider lungs
Golden Tongue\015
Tender Touch\015
OK, `brother`, watch out, 'cause I've got my OWN doll, now!
Now all I need are a few voodoo ingredients.
Well, that's one ingredient and the doll.
That's \255\004\100\000 ingredients and the doll.
Well, that's one ingredient.
Now all I need is a doll.
That's \255\004\038\002 ingredients.
There's some stuff in here^
I think that these are matches^
^and this thing feels like a bomb.
Let's see here^
There are some matches in here^
^and something that says `Love bomb` on it.
I'd better ask about chartering a ship before I hand over my money.
Would you like my \255\006\000\064?
No thanks, mon.\255\003I've already got one of those.
Thanks, mon!\255\003I was look'n for another lucky sailing necklace.
Thanks, mon!\255\003This will do just fine for my lucky sailing necklace.
What was that, mon?
No thanks, mon.
Captain Dread
cabin door
I don't think Dread's map will help me navigate this swamp.
Captain Dread's map
What con I do for ya?
Are you Captain Dread?
Ya mon, I'm Captain Dread.\255\003What can I do for ya?
Hello?!?
Hello mon.\255\003My name's Captain Dread.\255\003What can I do for ya?
It's me again.
So I see. What can I do for ya this time, mon?
I need to charter a ship.
Why can't I charter your ship?
I need to charter a ship.
Natty dreads.
Gee, I think I've met your friend.
Tell me more about that necklace thingy you lost.
I gotta run, lots of treasure hunt'n to do.
Like I said before, mon^
You're in luck, my friend.\255\003Rumor has it that Largo's been run off the island^\255\003^so I'm now free to sail again.
I can't charter you my ship because^
Besides^
Only problem is^\255\003^that you don't look like the type that has 20 pieces of eight.
Actually, I do have that much.
Well, mon!\255\003Consider my ship chartered!
Great!\255\003Where's your ship?
You're standing in it, mon.
Yikes!
Yeah, you're right^\255\003^I'm broke.
Unlikely.
Thanks, mon.
It happened sometime ago.
My navigator and I set sail for this legendary island.
When we arrived, we were taken prisoner by cannibals.
I escaped, mon, but my navigator was not so lucky.
All I found of him was one of his eyeballs, and I've kept it as a good luck charm.
OK, bye, mon.\255\003Come again.
Mon, I gotta take you back to Scabb Island.\255\003I got goods I gotta deliver.
Welcome to the Jolly Rasta!
Where do you want to go?
I don't know, what are my choices?
I'll show you on the map you gave me.
Please take me to Booty Island.
Please take me to Phatt Island.
Please take me to Scabb Island.
I'd just like to cruise aimlessly for a while.
I'd like to go back to the island I just left.
You know, I used to go out with Governor Marley.
What happened to the map I gave you?\255\003We'll never find the island without it.
I'll go back and get it.
OK, just let me know when you want to get someplace.
I only know how to get to three islands, mon.
What are they?
There's where we just came from, Scabb Island.\255\003The only island where pirates are free to be pirates.
Then there's Booty Island.\255\003The festive, French, Mardi Gras, party-all-the-time, island.\255\003It's run by one of the most respected and loved governors around^\255\003^Governor Elaine Marley.
Elaine?
And last, there is Phatt Island.\255\003A fascist dictatorship, run by an over-bloated pig named Governor Phatt.
Here, take this easy-to-read reference map, courtesy of Dread Tours.\255\003You can use it to show me where you want to go.
Sure you did, mon.
OOPS! It didn't work right. See traveldialog.scu
I lost my lucky `eye that has seen the world` sailing necklace.
^a while ago, I lost my lucky sailing necklace.\255\003I called it 'my eye that has seen the world'.\255\003I can't sail without it.\255\003No way, mon.
^Largo has an embargo on the island.
^That mean and nasty guy, Largo^\255\003^he has an embargo on the island.
No ships can sail in or out without his approval.\255\003There's no way he'd let me leave.
I love a house with that nautical look.
houseboat
path
It says, and I quote:\255\003`Captain Dread's Ship Charters`\255\003`20 Pieces of Eight`\255\003`Inquire within`
sign
It has a picture of a parrot on the front.
It's empty.
parrot chow
door
I'm off to find Big Whoop.
Finally^
Alright! I got the first map piece!
Yeah! Now I've got two map sections!
That makes three map pieces--only one to go!
That's the last map piece.\255\003Gee^ I still can't make heads or tails of it.\255\003I think I need an expert.
It's only one-quarter of a map--not too useful.
Well, I got half the map now^\255\003^but I still can't figure it out.
Just one more piece to go!
Hmmm^\255\003I think I need an expert to figure this out.
Dread's ship
Wharf
Cottage
Beach
Wharf
Mansion
Waterfall
I can't reach it.
I can't reach it.
door
door
path
path
alley
alley
fisherman
pier
Dread's ship
It's Captain Kate.
It's stuck to the wall.
I wouldn't want to implicate an innocent bird.
poster
`If I could read, I'd spend all my free time at the Phatt City Library!\255\001 -Reginald Blackbeard`
No thanks. I've got enough trouble in this town.
poster
`WANTED: GUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD^\255\003^for the murder of G.P. LeChuck^
`WANTED: GUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD^`\255\003Hey! That's me!\255\003`^for the murder of G.P. LeChuck^
^also for the use of witchcraft on the person of Largo LaGrande^
^the thievery of clothing and medically prescribed hair supplements for such witchcraft^
^graverobbing^
^trespassing^
^larceny without a permit^
^disturbing the peace^
^illegal gambling on a sporting event^
^use of falsified identification for the purchase of alcohol^
^exceeding allowable FDA limit for rodent parts in vichyssoise^
^premature entombment of a non-dead individual^
^reckless tampering with city-maintained plumbing without prior acquisition of an environmental impact report^
^transportation of animals not in a mental state to give consent^
^vandalizing a historical miniature^
^reckless use of gardening tools^
^impersonating a woman in order to evade prosecution^
^unauthorized exiting from a penal institution^
^two counts of unauthorized exiting from a penal institution^
^unauthorized exiting from a penal institution^
^impersonating a federal mail boat^
^reanimating dead persons within city limits^
^possession of library books not specifically checked out to oneself^
^mixing drinks without a liquor license^
^and releasing a dangerous reptile in a populated area.
Also wanted for questioning regarding the disappearance of prescription eyewear.
Reward offered for information leading to the suspect's apprehension.
Threepwood is to be considered armed and dangerous.`
Armed and dangerous?
Right on!
Excuse me, sir.
Yes?
Aren't you Guybrush Threepwood?
That's right. I'm the man who swashed the Ghost Pirate \254\008 LeChuck's buckles.\255\009\027\000
Who wants to know?
No, my name is Smith. You must have me confused with \254\008 someone else.\255\009\024\000
I'm really in a hurry.
I'm sure that's a very interesting story, but we don't have time for that now.
Smith, eh?\255\003That's an unusual name.
Hold on, sir.
Perhaps you have some identification?
Err^ I must have left it in my other pants.\255\009\024\000
Why yes, I-- GOOD HEAVENS!! My wallet's been stolen!
Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!\255\009\007\000
My ID is on my ship. Wait here while I go and get it.\255\009\026\000
That's the second lamest excuse I've ever heard.
Of course it has, sir.
Nice try, Guybrush.
I'm with the local constabulary, sir.
You'd better come with me, Governor Phatt would like a word with you.
All right, I'll come with you.
Am I under arrest?\255\009\025\000
I'm really very busy. Could we do this another time?\255\009\023\000
If you want to put it that way, sir, yes.
Oh.\255\003All right, let's go.
Coming!
Well, Mr.--
--oh, excuse me.
Well, Mr. Threepwood, I can't tell you how pleased I am to have you here as my guest.
Oh, why is that?
I can't say as I care much for your method of invitation.
Thank you. Your home is lovely.
Would you like to hear the story of the time I blew \254\008 LeChuck's top?
Look, I'm really in quite a rush^
I thought we might talk about a few things.
I simply wanted to insure that you didn't slip away before we had a chance to meet.\255\003There's something I'd like to discuss.
You have an eye for the finer things, Mr. Threepwood.
Ha ha ha
Funny you should mention LeChuck, as he's the reason I brought you here.
You wanted to thank me for getting rid of him, eh?\255\003Well, no thanks are necessary.\255\003You see, I--
Oh, do stay a while.
We have much to discuss.
Such as how much it must cost to keep you in finery?
Such as how much it must cost to keep you in food?
Such as why there's a wanted poster on the wharf with \254\008 my picture on it?
Such as why there's a ten-foot guard blocking the door?
Want to hear about me destroying the evil LeChuck?
Be careful upon whose toes you tread, Mr. Threepwood.
Such as your future, Mr. Threepwood.
And that of the Ghost Pirate LeChuck.
`Destroying,` is it?
At least I can SEE your toes.
I'm sorry. I just meant that you seem to live so WELL^
Why, you--\255\003--excuse me.
Let's get down to why you're here, shall we?\255\003I intend to SELL you.\255\003To the Ghost Pirate LeChuck.
Ah, I see.
I admit my tastes run to the expensive.
To the exPANsive is more like it.
How do you manage to afford it?
I am not a patient man, Mr. Threepwood.
Yes, I've had to indulge in a bit of creative financing.\255\003But I've just made a deal that will keep the bill collectors out of here for a long time.
Selling your old clothes to make circus tents?
Melting down your silverware to build an oil pipeline?
Renting yourself out to ship captains as ballast?
Selling advertising space on your stomach?
Oh really? What's that?
I'll be selling something which I believe I shall be GLAD to be rid of.
I'm selling YOU, Mr. Threepwood.
To the Ghost Pirate LeChuck.
LeChuck's dead.\255\003I killed him.
Perhaps you didn't kill him quite so thoroughly as you imagine.\255\003He looked perfectly healthy the last time I saw him.
Last time you saw him?!?
Oh, no!\255\003LeChuck's back!
I beg your pardon, did you say something?
I took care of LeChuck once, I can do it again.
He doesn't scare me. Just tell me where I can find him.
Could I hide out here for a while?
You'll get your chance.
I rather think he'll find YOU, Mr. Threepwood.
You can hide out until LeChuck comes to pick you up.
You see, he's put a sizeable bounty on your head.
Oh?
A bounty I intend to collect.
Oh.
Whatever bounty LeChuck's offering, I'll double it.
I guess that bounty would buy a lot of bacon grease and \254\008 pure fat, huh?
Ha ha ha
Very amusing, Mr. Threepwood.
Why, you!\255\003You can figure it out while you wait in jail for LeChuck to pick you up.
Take him away!
Yes, sir, Governor Phatt.
Come on, you little weasel.
I'll be back!\255\009\007\000
I'll be BACK!\255\009\007\000
I'LL be back!\255\009\007\000
I'll BE back!\255\009\007\000
Come on!
Don't try to escape or anything.\255\003Walt will chew you to bits.
OK, Walt, I'll be back to relieve you at eleven.
Excuse me.
Yes?
Aren't you Guybrush Threepwood?
No, my name is Kate Capsize.\255\003You must have me confused with someone else.
Kate, eh?\255\003That's an unusual name.
Perhaps you have some identification?
My ID is on my ship. Wait here while I go and get it.
Nice try, Guybrush.
I don't know how you got out of the jail, but I'm taking you back in.
Hey, don't touch that!\255\003It's precisely balanced for maximum hydrophonic fibrilation.
I said, hands off my rod.
fishing pole
fishing pole
It IS a nice pole.
fishing pole
Looks only slightly better than he smells.
I doubt he'd appreciate that.
I don't think so.
fisherman
wharf
Caught anything yet?
Yeah, but nothing gross enough to make you eat yet.
(Heh heh heh)
Oh, hi.
Given any more thought to that little wager?
Are you kidding?\255\003I reached my limit hours ago!
More than I could ever eat!
I'm Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty fisherman.
I'm a game warden. I'll have to confiscate your pole.
Well, I gotta go. Good luck.
Oh, you are, are you?
I'm the best fisherman in these isles!
I'm also the man who caught the notorious LeChuck!
Yeah!
I beg to differ with you:
I'M the best fisherman in these isles.
Yeah, RIGHT.\255\003If you fish as poorly as you lie, you don't even deserve to be talking to me.
I'm the best fisherman in these isles, you know.
Oh, yeah?
You? Why, you couldn't fish your way out of a paper bag.
You? Why, you couldn't catch cold in a blizzard.
You? Why, you couldn't catch a fish at a restaurant.
Not!
What?
What's THAT supposed to mean?
The pike I catch make Pike's Peak look like an anthill.
That's why I'm known as `The Blowfish.`
You mean `The BlowHARD.`
I'M known as `The Sturgeon Surgeon.`
The fish you catch are so small you'd need tweezers to \254\008 throw them back.
Oh, yeah?
^
Listen bait-for-brains, I'm the best around and that's that.
Not if your hooks are as dull as your wit.
Not if your bait is as tiny as your brain.
Not if your line is as weak as your lines.
Not if your reel is as rusty as your imagination.
Not if your lures are as ugly as you are.
Perhaps you'd like to make a small WAGER, eh, Mr. Fisherman?
You're a game warden, eh?\255\003Let's see a badge or something.
I must have left my badge in my other pants.
I don't have to show you any stinking badge.
Actually I'm Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty fisherman.
Look behind you, a three-headed fish!
I think I'd better be going.
Hah!
I think so, too.
I think you're just trying to get your hands on my pole.
Do you fish?
Of course. Why else would I want your pole?
I'm the best fisherman in these isles.
No, actually I've never been fishing in my life.
Why do you want to know?
Well, I was just thinking about a small WAGER.
Are you a betting man?
Sure, I'll take your bet.
No, I'm not a gambler.
What sort of wager were you thinking of?
Let me tell you what I had in mind first.
Pity.\255\003It would have been^\255\003^interesting.
If you can catch a bigger fish than I can^
^I'll GIVE you my prize-winning pole.
Sounds fair.
What's the catch?
Kiss your pole goodbye.
But I don't even have a hook!
Improvise. I'm sure you'll think of something.
If I catch a bigger fish than YOU^\255\003^you have to eat it.\255\003RAW.
Raw?
RAW?!?
You mean, on rice with a little wasabe and soy sauce?
Ick.
Where'd you get that other pipe?
No.
Exactly.
ahem
What?
Like I say, you'd have to eat a raw fish.
Plain, cold, and with the head still on it.
What do you say?
All right, it's a bet.
It's a revolting idea. I can't think of anything I'd \254\008 less rather do.
I need more time to think about it.
OK.\255\003Let me know if you change your mind about being a wimp.
OK.
I'll be right here.
Great!\255\003I'm really looking forward to making you eat my catch.
What with all the sewage from Governor Phatt's mansion, the fish are usually pretty gross.
I never eat mine, just sell them to restaurants.
Best get fishing, buddy.
Heh heh heh.
Catch ya later.
<chuckle>
Nice pole.
Thanks.
Err^\255\003Think I'll just drop a line right here.\255\003Plunk.
Wow, I've got a nibble already!\255\003Holy cow, he's a monster!
I've got him!\255\003What a battle!
Wow!
This is the biggest--
--er--
It's almost as big as the leviathan I just hauled in.
Really?\255\003Where IS this `leviathan?`
Errr^
I think you're lying.
Yeah, you're right, it was just a fish story.
I guess you win.
Here, take the pole.
Say, thanks.\255\003I've been looking for a copy of this book to help me identify some of the stranger looking fish I've caught.
Can't you see I'm busy?
It's a tibia.
bone
It's a stick.
This one's too big.
stick
I hope I don't have to sleep here.
I don't want to.
It's already pulled back.
That doesn't seem to work.
rock hard mattress
The door is already open.
small key
It's a tibia.
I can't reach it.
bone
A fine example of dieting gone horribly wrong.
He's not exactly my type.
No, thanks.
Hey, who's your tailor?
dead prisoner
What a ferocious-looking dog.
I wouldn't want to make it angry.
Hello, little doggie.
Walt
The door is locked.
cell door
door
It's a stick.
stick
The door is locked.
cell door
It's a plastic recycleable bottle of near-grog.
I'll only drink part of it.
1/\255\004\211\001 bottle o' near-grog
bottle o' near-grog@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Mr. Guybrush Threepwood\255\003Arrested for infractions too numerous to list.
It's empty.
OK.
manila envelope
Mr. Willy Gorilla\255\003Arrested for grinding his organ in public.
It's empty.
OK.
gorilla envelope
This reminds me of a story about a farm girl and^\255\003^oh, never mind.
I don't want it to get all brown and mushy.
banana
What a big organ!
I don't know how to play.
organ
Guybrush Threepwood\255\003Arrested for infractions too numerous to list.\255\003Claims she was framed.
It's empty.
OK.
vanilla envelope
Here doggie, doggie.
Here boy^
Watch me flip it right into my pocket!
They don't call me the Bone Master for nothing.
I better keep this, I might want to give it to someone later.
Idiots!
Fools!
Who is this Peepwind character, anyway?
They can't keep me locked up!
I'll figure a way out of here!
Hey!
Uh, oh!
I can explain, I--
Thanks for letting me out of there!\255\003You'll have to excuse me if I don't stick around.
I've got to find out who FRAMED me!
Hey! That tickles.
There's a banana in here^
And an organ.
Hey, there's some near-grog in here!
She looks kind of surly.
I wouldn't want to.\255\003She's not my type.
Bad idea.
librarian
Everything looks all blurry.
Looks powerful.
model lighthouse lens
This looks like a lighthouse on a beach.
It doesn't open.
It's already open.
There's a model lighthouse lens inside.
Uh-oh, it's stuck.\255\003I think I broke it.
It's not open.
model lighthouse
door
Looks like a normal ladder to me.
ladder
There are so many books here^\255\003I'll never be able to find anything.
I don't want to carry that many books with me.
I don't think that would be a good idea.
I can't read that fast.
What, every single one?
They look closed to me.
books
books
books
books
card catalog
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
temporary library card
Excuse me^
Hi, I'm looking for a book.
Want to hear a fantastic ghost story?\255\009\023\000
SHHHH!!!!
This is a library!
WHISPER!
Now, what is it?
Pardon me, Miss.
What do you want this time?
I'm looking for a book.
Why do you have a model lighthouse here?\255\009\026\000
Sorry. I didn't mean to bother you.
Then why did you?
There's a new lighthouse being built in town.
That is a scale model of what it will look like.
It's very attractive, for a lighthouse.
Does it work?
Why do you need a lighthouse?\255\009\006\000
Yes, and it will be very bright, too.\255\003It will have one of the most powerful magnifying lenses in the Caribbean.
I'd show you with the model, but unfortunately the bulb has burned out.
It wouldn't be much of a lighthouse if it didn't, now would it?
Actually, I meant the model.
Oh!\255\003Yes, normally the model works, too.\255\003The bulb is burned out right now, but there's a scaled-down lens inside.
We're tired of rebuilding the wharf every time a boat goes through it.\255\003That's why it has to be very bright.\255\003It will have one of the most powerful magnifying lenses in the Caribbean.
Do you have a library card?
No.
No, how do I get one?
I must have left it in my other pants.\255\009\026\000
Well, would you like one?
Yes, what do I have to do?
No, thank you.
Then stop wasting my time.
But you DO have one?
Well^ no.\255\009\025\000
Certainly.
I'll have to issue you a temporary card.
I said you could only check out four books at a time.\255\003You'll have to give some back before you can check out any more.
What book are you looking for?
Do you have '\255\006\163\000'?
I'd like '\255\006\162\000'.
Could you find '\255\006\161\000'?
I need '\255\006\160\000'.
I don't know, what have you got?\255\009\006\000
I won't be needing any more books just now.
Whoops, I've just remembered an appointment.
You already have four books checked out.\255\003You'll have to give some back.
You've already checked that book out, Mr. Threepwood.
You've already checked that book out, Captain Dread.
You've already checked that book out, Mr. Toothrot.
That book has been checked out by Governor Phatt.
OK, here you go.
That's your limit.\255\003You'll have to give some books back before you can check out any more.
Anything else?
Don't slam the door on your way out.
Remember, books are the treasure of the mind.
Remember, silence is golden.
Please put the lens back in the lighthouse.
You expect me to name every book in the library?
Use the card catalog like a normal person.
I'll need some personal information.
Name?
Guybrush Threepwood.
Captain Dread.
Herman Toothrot.
Address?
221B Baker Street.
10 Downing Street.
1060 West Addison.
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Age?
Ummm... twenty-one.\255\009\024\000
Errrr... twenty-one.\255\009\024\000
Ninet --uh--, twenty-one.
Occupation?
Consultant.
Free lance.
Unemployed.
Pirate.
Vices?
Nose picking.
Jaywalking.
Murder, arson, thievery, that sort of thing.
I see.
All right, here's your temporary card.
All right, your library card will be mailed to the address you gave me.
In the meantime, take this temporary card.
You may check books out of the library, but only four at a time.
That's about as many titles as I can remember anyhow.
Thank you.
Please put that back where you got it.
No thank you.
SHHH!!
This is a library!!
Please, be quiet!!
You're disturbing people!
Lower your voice!!
This is not `hog-calling` practice!!
I won't ask you again!
Zelda Carbuncle Tells All
Animatronics
Under the Surface
X Never Marks the Spot
Vagueness as an Art Form
Idealism or Surrealism?
Beverages for Everyone
Both Hands Empty
Both Hands Moving
Both Heads Empty
A Fistful of Barnacles
Lick the Silver Spoon
Me and Blackbeard
The Time I Blew Up LeChuck
Yikes!
Unusual Birthmarks
Breakfast at Meathook's
How to Make Friends and Influence People
How to Serve Your Fellow Man
Guide to Cheeses of the World
The Sinister Beast Under the Bed
Treasury of Pirate Children's Stories
Alfredo and Bill's Excellent Adventure
Damn the Human Torpedo
Great Expectorations
Junk, Junk, and More Junk
Noteworthy Pirate Foods
Viscous Fluids You Can Make at Home
Crochet Eyepatches for Fun and Profit
The Code in My Nose
Great Shipwrecks of Our Century
Facinating Facts About Scurvy
Shipboard Diseases
Dog English Dictionary
Preparing for the Pirate Aptitude Test
Quiet on the Set
Tomato Worms
Origins of Pirate Words
Summer Swashbuckling Fashions
E Ticket
Five More Than I Needed
Hedgehog Days
Not So Much as a Doubloon
Very Very Short Stories
Easy Ways to Make Money
Big Book of Fish
Limpet Fishing: The Lost Art
I Married A Muenster
Life-Size and Larger
Rats as a Protein Source
Hal Barwood on Monkey 2
Fan-Tan Fanatic
Kings of Shuffleboard
My Mother the Cart
How to Make a Jackalope
Properties of the Elliptic Hyperboloid
When I Blew Up LeChuck
Where I Blew Up LeChuck
Why I Blew Up LeChuck
The Shirt Off My Back
Popular Punishments for Grave Robbers
I Am Blackbeard's Liver
Careful With Those Cannonballs!
Rememberance of Molly
Bad Puns For Bad Pirates
Dumb Pirate Jokes
So You're Going To Be Executed^
Pirates' Favorite Ice Cream Flavors
Tikis of the South Pacific
Igloo Construction Made Easy
The New Tax Laws
How to Give Great Indian Burns
The Complex Complex
The Story of Jello
Our Spineless Cousins
Kangaroo Court
Cow-Tipping Enthusiast
My Karma Just Ran Over Your Dogma
Keelhauling: Methodology and Practice
The Little Organ That Could
Kleptomania
Hip Lingo for Pirates
Louse Ranching For Fun and Profit
Afternoon at Meathook's
Rock and Raunch
Damp Damsels of the Deep
The Sailor and the Sea Cow
Theory and Practice of Bone Breakage
Cubic Lemniscate Formulas
The Steath Sailer: Why It Won't Sail
Make Easy Money at Home
The Majesty of the Sierras
Elvis Lives
Grammy Award Winners of the Renaissance
Volume First
World's Worst Pirate Songs
Xylophone For Beginners
How Much Wood?
Feeling Good About Narcissism
Confessions of a Narcoleptic
Dynanetics by L. Ron Gilbert
Sounds From Under the Bed
A Definitive Guide to Cartoon Noises
How to Give Great Noogies
A White Picket Fence
Honk If You Have To
Soda Fountains of My Youth
Numerology for Beginners
Use of Nylon by Pirates
More of Me to Love
&$*#!
Favorite Gumbo Recipes
Scourge of the Pizza
There's Always A Rainbow
Our Hairy Cousins
Paper Buffalo
Hear the Sound of My Feet Talking
Deliberance
Rastafarian Philosophy
All about Pillaging
Masters of Pillaging
Pirating Primer
Three Sheets to the Wind
Famous Pirate Quotations
The Joy of Hex
Amour's Agonizing Adieu
Desire's Distasteful Denouement
Fascination's Final Frenzy
Love's Lingering Lassitude
Next To Nothing
Passion's Persistent Presence
Romance's Wretched Residue
Sin's Sordid Swan Song
Yearning's Yellowing Yesterdays
If I Only Had A Drain
Safe Sailing
Lox and Locks
Scabb Island History
Pirates Who Love Too Much
Not Eating People and Feeling Good About It
Killers of the Deep
Modern Shipbuilding
The Hidden Sins of Calculus
Top Seven Deadly Sins
Shiver Me Timbers
Social Darwinism and Social Disease
A Million and One Ways to Play Solitaire
Gift of the Lizard People
Over the Crow's Nest
Walk Thru Walls: The Intelligence Avoider
Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Partner
Operating Without A Net
Why Chicks Dig Tattoos
Tattoo-Related Skin Infections
A Child's First Book of Tattoos
Tea Party Massacre
Beyond Hearts and Question Marks
The Pride of Loch Ness
Thirty Things That Taste Terrific On Toast
Modern Toenail Collector
Collectable Toy Trucks
The Caribbean on No Dollars A Day
Big Whoop: Unclaimed Bonanza or Myth?
Anaesthetics For Deciduous Trees
Why People Shouldn't Write Trilogies
Why People Won't Read Trilogies
Why People Write Trilogies Anyway
Dessert Recipes for Tripe Lovers
Why You Shouldn't Worry About Ulcers
Giant Umbrellas and Other Bits of Art
Wedgies: Harmless Fun Or Sadistic Torture?
Vegetables Children Will Eat
Popular Spectator Sports
101 Vices
Thirty Non-Musical Uses For Your Violin
Things You Can Catch By Reading a Library Book
Patches
Warm All Year Round
Gross Things to Say at Parties
Is It Soup Yet?
Anywhere But My Room
Impact of Yellow on Small Children
Living in Lime
Dancing On Three Legs
The Misunderstood Pet
Opulence as a Social Art
Meet Mr. Tiger
Sniffing the Cork
Out On a Plank
Life Cycle of the Shrew
Hey You Kids, Get Off of My Lawn
Pirate's Guide to Caribbean Yacht Clubs
All You Need is the Cap
The Yak is Slow But the Earth Is Patient
The Yearn to Yawn
Interview With A Snowman
Feh, and Other Useful Terms
Yodeling from the Top of the Lungs
Not Quite Really Pudding
At the End of the Rope
Bouncing and Behaving
Spinning at the End of a String
Pirates of the Pleistocene
Zipper Theory
The Most Beautiful Element
Just one of the Primates
Zoo Animals More Intelligent Than Humans
1001 Pirate Songs, a Book You Shouldn't Have
Guybrush Threepwood
Captain Dread
Herman Toothrot
221B Baker Street
10 Downing Street
1060 West Addison
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Age: 21
Consultant
Free lance
Unemployed
Pirate
Zelda Carbuncle Tells All
Animatronics
It's technical stuff, I can't understand a word of it.
Under the Surface
It's technical stuff, I can't understand a word of it.
X Never Marks the Spot
Vagueness as an Art Form
Idealism or Surrealism?
Beverages for Everyone
You know, I don't believe there's a man, woman, or child alive who doesn't occasionally enjoy a lovely beverage.
Both Hands Empty
Both Hands Moving
Both Heads Empty
A Fistful of Barnacles
Lick the Silver Spoon
Me and Blackbeard
The Time I Blew Up LeChuck
I can't believe I'm reading my own memoirs.
Yikes!
Yikes!
Unusual Birthmarks
Breakfast at Meathook's
How to Make Friends and Influence People
How to Serve Your Fellow Man
Yikes!
Guide to Cheeses of the World
The Sinister Beast Under the Bed
Hmm^ Good bedtime reading^
Treasury of Pirate Children's Stories
Alfredo and Bill's Excellent Adventure
Damn the Human Torpedo
Great Expectorations
This is very^
^thick.
Junk, Junk, and More Junk
Noteworthy Pirate Foods
Hey, it's blank!
Viscous Fluids You Can Make at Home
Crochet Eyepatches for Fun and Profit
The Code in My Nose
Sounds uncomfortable.
Great Shipwrecks of Our Century
Says here the Mad Monkey sank at \255\004\100\000N, \255\004\227\001W.
Facinating Facts About Scurvy
Shipboard Diseases
Gross.
Dog English Dictionary
It says here that `Arf` has twenty-seven meanings in Dog.
Preparing for the Pirate Aptitude Test
Quiet on the Set
Tomato Worms
Origins of Pirate Words
It says here that most pirate lingo can be traced to Phoenician restroom grafitti.
Summer Swashbuckling Fashions
E Ticket
Five More Than I Needed
Hedgehog Days
Not So Much as a Doubloon
Very Very Short Stories
Yep, these are short all right.
Easy Ways to Make Money
Big Book of Fish
It's a bunch of neat pictures of big fish.
Limpet Fishing: The Lost Art
I Married A Muenster
Life-Size and Larger
Rats as a Protein Source
Ick.
Hal Barwood on Monkey 2
`Less is more, guys!`
`You can't polish a turd.`
Fan-Tan Fanatic
Kings of Shuffleboard
My Mother the Cart
This is really creepy!
How to Make a Jackalope
I wonder how they get them to cooperate?
Properties of the Elliptic Hyperboloid
It's technical stuff, I can't understand a word of it.
When I Blew Up LeChuck
The catalog was right, this IS pretty bad.
Where I Blew Up LeChuck
The catalog was right, this IS pretty bad.
Why I Blew Up LeChuck
The catalog was right, this IS pretty bad.
The Shirt Off My Back
Darn, no pictures.
Popular Punishments for Grave Robbers
Yikes!
I Am Blackbeard's Liver
Just say no to grog.
Careful With Those Cannonballs!
Rememberance of Molly
Bad Puns For Bad Pirates
heh.
Heh, heh.
Hooo ha ha ha ha.
AHAHAHA!!!
HOOHAHA-- `He was stumped!` --HAHAHAHA!!
Ahaha.
Aheh.
Oh, well, I guess it wasn't that funny.
Dumb Pirate Jokes
So You're Going To Be Executed^
Gulp.
Pirates' Favorite Ice Cream Flavors
Hmm, Pistachio Dryrot, Salmonella Chip, Grog 'n' Cream^
Tikis of the South Pacific
Igloo Construction Made Easy
The New Tax Laws
It's a bit dry, and I don't understand the ending.
How to Give Great Indian Burns
The Complex Complex
The Story of Jello
Our Spineless Cousins
Kangaroo Court
Cow-Tipping Enthusiast
My Karma Just Ran Over Your Dogma
I think this philosophy stuff is just a waste of time.
Keelhauling: Methodology and Practice
The Little Organ That Could
There are little pop-up kidneys in it!
Ick!
Kleptomania
It says here that kleptomania is a nigh-irresistable compulsion to take anything not nailed down.
Hmmm^
Hip Lingo for Pirates
Hmmm^
`Aaargh.`
`Yaarr.`
`Shiver my timbers.`
`David Jones' locker.`
`Dead men don't tell stories.`
I should brush up on some of these.
Louse Ranching For Fun and Profit
Afternoon at Meathook's
Fascinating...
Rock and Raunch
I don't see what's so bad about these lyrics.
Damp Damsels of the Deep
The Sailor and the Sea Cow
Theory and Practice of Bone Breakage
Hey, this guy's only a PINK belt!
Cubic Lemniscate Formulas
Boy, is this stuff boring.
The Steath Sailer: Why It Won't Sail
Make Easy Money at Home
It says I should send in two dollars for details.
The Majesty of the Sierras
Sierras?
Majestic?
I think not.
Elvis Lives
Grammy Award Winners of the Renaissance
Volume First
World's Worst Pirate Songs
Hey, `A Thousand Bottles of Beer on the Wall.`
Xylophone For Beginners
How Much Wood?
I think the butler did it.
Feeling Good About Narcissism
The 'about the author' part goes almost the whole way through the book.
Confessions of a Narcoleptic
Boy, what a sleeper.
Dynanetics by L. Ron Gilbert
Who does this guy think he is, anyway?
Sounds From Under the Bed
A Definitive Guide to Cartoon Noises
How to Give Great Noogies
A White Picket Fence
Honk If You Have To
Soda Fountains of My Youth
Boy, does this guy ever want to relive his childhood.
Numerology for Beginners
Use of Nylon by Pirates
More of Me to Love
&$*#!
This stuff is really repulsive!
Favorite Gumbo Recipes
Scourge of the Pizza
There's Always A Rainbow
I hate people who write books like this.
Our Hairy Cousins
I have a lot of cousins like that^
Paper Buffalo
Hear the Sound of My Feet Talking
It's about zen orthopedics or some such foolishness.
Deliberance
Rastafarian Philosophy
I don't get it.
All about Pillaging
Masters of Pillaging
Wow!
These guys are real pirates!
Pirating Primer
This is about something called `software` piracy.
Three Sheets to the Wind
This is some of the worst poetry I've ever read.
Famous Pirate Quotations
The Joy of Hex
I think it's meant for advanced voodoo practitioners.
The writing's way too technical for me.
Amour's Agonizing Adieu
Argh!
Desire's Distasteful Denouement
Dumb!
Fascination's Final Frenzy
Fiddle-sticks!
Love's Lingering Lassitude
Truly disgusting.
Next To Nothing
If you can't say something nice, you're not supposed to say anything at all.
Much less write a whole BOOK.
Passion's Persistent Presence
Why would she write this?
Romance's Wretched Residue
Ridiculous!
Sin's Sordid Swan Song
Stupid!
Yearning's Yellowing Yesterdays
Yuck!
If I Only Had A Drain
Safe Sailing
Lox and Locks
Scabb Island History
Says here that Scabb was first settled as a quarantine island for skin diseases.
It later became a haven for pirates because of its distinctive lack of authority figures.
Pirates Who Love Too Much
Not Eating People and Feeling Good About It
Killers of the Deep
Modern Shipbuilding
The Hidden Sins of Calculus
Boy, this is reactionary!
Top Seven Deadly Sins
`Sloth` is my favorite.
Shiver Me Timbers
`Yarrrr, matey.`
I wonder if anyone really talks like this.
Social Darwinism and Social Disease
An interesting comparison.
A Million and One Ways to Play Solitaire
What a rip.
Number 236,709 and number 645,212 are practically the same.
Gift of the Lizard People
Over the Crow's Nest
Walk Thru Walls: The Intelligence Avoider
I certainly don't need this^
I can walk straight already.
Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Partner
It's technical stuff, I can't understand a word of it.
Operating Without A Net
It says to always use latex gloves.
Why Chicks Dig Tattoos
Hmm^ Maybe I should get one.
Tattoo-Related Skin Infections
Hmm^ Maybe I shouldn't get one.
A Child's First Book of Tattoos
Aw, the teddy bear is cute!
Tea Party Massacre
Beyond Hearts and Question Marks
The Pride of Loch Ness
This guy thinks the legendary Three-Headed Monkey is actually the son of the Loch Ness Monster.
Thirty Things That Taste Terrific On Toast
Modern Toenail Collector
It's a bunch of clippings from some magazine.
Collectable Toy Trucks
Here's an interesting one: the Junior Ultra Soldier Commando Assault Vehicle\015.
The Caribbean on No Dollars A Day
Big Whoop: Unclaimed Bonanza or Myth?
This is fascinating!
It says here there were four pirates:
Rapp Scallion (the cook)^
^Young Lindy (the cabin boy)^
^Mister Rogers (the first mate)^
^and Captain-- Good Heavens!
Captain Marley!
(Wonder if there's any relation?)
They buried their treasure along with plenty of--
-- uh, oh--
--booby traps on a place believed to be called Inky Island.
It says here there were four pirates:
Rapp Scallion (the cook)^
^Young Lindy (the cabin boy)^
^Mister Rogers (the first mate)^
^and Captain Marley.
They buried their treasure along with plenty of booby traps on a place believed to be called Inky Island.
They made a map which they divided into four pieces, each man taking one.
Rapp Scallion later opened the Steamin' Weenie Hut on Scabb Island.
It was a huge success but fell into disrepair after Rapp was killed in a flash fire.
Young Lindy drifted aimlessly, down on his luck until he mysteriously came into money while panhandling on Booty Island.
He used the cash to bankroll an advertising firm which failed after its gross mishandling of the Gangrene 'n' Honey account.
Mister Rogers retired off the coast of Phatt Island.
He marketed homemade contest grog brewed in a bathtub until his recent disappearance.
Captain Marley vanished while sailing in the America's Cup race.
His boat was leading at the time.
Anaesthetics For Deciduous Trees
Why People Shouldn't Write Trilogies
Why People Won't Read Trilogies
Why People Write Trilogies Anyway
Dessert Recipes for Tripe Lovers
Ick.
Why You Shouldn't Worry About Ulcers
Giant Umbrellas and Other Bits of Art
Sounds dangerous.
Wedgies: Harmless Fun Or Sadistic Torture?
It says here that the wedgie was once used as a law enforcement practice.
Vegetables Children Will Eat
That's odd, it claims ketchup is a vegetable.
Popular Spectator Sports
I can't find stoat wrestling in here.
101 Vices
Hey, only 30 to go!
Thirty Non-Musical Uses For Your Violin
Wow, I bet that WOULD keep the cats away^
Things You Can Catch By Reading a Library Book
Uh, oh^
Patches
Warm All Year Round
Gross Things to Say at Parties
--snicker--
I especially like the one about the sauerkraut.
Is It Soup Yet?
Anywhere But My Room
Impact of Yellow on Small Children
Living in Lime
Ick.
Dancing On Three Legs
The Misunderstood Pet
Opulence as a Social Art
Meet Mr. Tiger
Neat, the pictures pop up.
Sniffing the Cork
Out On a Plank
Life Cycle of the Shrew
Hey You Kids, Get Off of My Lawn
Pirate's Guide to Caribbean Yacht Clubs
All You Need is the Cap
The Yak is Slow But the Earth Is Patient
The Yearn to Yawn
Interview With A Snowman
Feh, and Other Useful Terms
Yodeling from the Top of the Lungs
Not Quite Really Pudding
At the End of the Rope
Bouncing and Behaving
Spinning at the End of a String
Pirates of the Pleistocene
Zipper Theory
The Most Beautiful Element
Just one of the Primates
Zoo Animals More Intelligent Than Humans
It's too thick, I don't have time to read it.
1001 Pirate Songs, a Book You Shouldn't Have
This is a pretty useless book, I'm not even sure why I checked it out.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I think I'll try a different drawer.
I've had it with this card catalog.
\255\005\001\064
Hmmm. `\255\006\161\000.` \254\008 I'll have to remember that.
\255\007\042\000\254\001\255\007\041\000\255\002
\255\007\042\000\254\001`\255\006\161\000`\254\001\255\007\041\000\255\002
Adult Entertainment
Memoirs of a woman of dubious pleasure.
Animatronics
by Walt Whimsy
Animatronics
by Walt Whimsy
Annotation
See Footnoting
Archaeology
by I. Jones
Art
Art/Philosophy
Philosophy/art textbook.
Beverages
Big Whoop
See: Treasure
Biography
The Herman Toothrot story.
Biography
The Stan story.
Biography
The Fettucini Brothers story.
Biography
Journal of Captain Twiddlymore.
Biography
by L. Phatt
Biography
Biography
Questionable memoirs of Guybrush Threepwood
Biography
Memoirs of Captain Gilbert
Body
Breakfast
Business
by Bluebeard
Cannibalism
by Lemonhead
Cannibalism
See Also: Self-Help
Catalogs
See Subheadings
Cheese
Reference
Children's Books
Children's Books
Circuses
Fiction
Circuses
The origin of the human cannonball trick.
Classics
by Captain Loogie
Collectables
A guide to collectable memorabilia.
Cooking
Cooking
Crafts
Cross-Reference
See Referential Obscurantism
Cryptography
Unique message drops through history.
Dewey Decimal System
See Organizational Schema
Disaster
From the Lime-Life Disaster series.
Disease
Disease
Dogs
Reference
Education
by S. Karpman
Entertainment
Entomology
An owner's manual.
Etymology
Eyesight
See: Vision
Farthington Dynasty
See: Games
Fashion
Three years of the popular periodical
Fiction
Fiction
Fiction
Fiction
An anthology of short fiction
Fiction
Finance
Fish
Illustrated guide to fish of the world.
Fishing
Food
by S. Cheese
Food
Food
Food
Also see: Cannibalism
Footnoting
See Vicious Pedantry
Games
A critical review.
Games
by Elroy T. Funbun
Games
An account of the Farthington Dynasty.
Genealogy
Strange but true tales.
Genetics
Geometry
Ghost Pirate LeChuck
One of Threepwood's worst.
Ghost Pirate LeChuck
One of Threepwood's worst.
Ghost Pirate LeChuck
One of Threepwood's worst.
Godiva, Lady
Biography, see also Adult Entertainment
Grave Robbing
Grog, Addiction to
The Horrifying True Story of a Confessed Grogaholic
Groupings
See Catalogs
Headings
See Cross-Reference
History
Legend of the Glass-Bottomed Armada
History
See Also: Scabb Island
Hogwash
Humor
by N. Falstein
Humor
Humor, Gallows
Dozens of things to say on the chopping block.
Ice Cream
Idols
Reference
Igloos
Imaginary Numbers
Light fiction.
Indexes
See Indices
Indian Burns
Indices
See Titles
Inferiority
Internal Revenue Service
See Imaginary Numbers.
Jackalope
See Genetics
Jello
Jellyfish
Justice
Critique of the modern judicial system.
Juvenile Behavior
Collected essays on form and style.
Karate
See Martial Arts
Karma
see also: Philosophy
Keelhauling
Ketchup
See Vegetables
Kidneys
Pop-up book of kidney functions.
Kleptomania
Labyrinths
See Zip Codes
Language
A dictionary of modern slang terms.
Lice
Lunch
Lyrics
Banned record albums of the past decade.
Magic
See Voodoo
Manatees
Manatees
-- A Fable
Martial Arts
Mathematics
Maze Construction
See Annotation
Military
Money
Mountains
Music
Predictions of future music by Nottruedamus
Music
Music
Music
Music
Mystery
From the woodchuck mystery series.
Narcissism
Narcolepsy
New Age
Night
Noises
Noogies
Normality
Sociological study.
Noses
Colds, allergies, and other ailments.
Nostalgia
by Ponce de Leon
Numerology
Nylon
Obesity
By L. Phatt
Obscenity
Symbolic equivalents of obscene words and phrases.
Okra
See also Food.
Olives
Examination of forced olive consumption.
Optimism
Orangutans
Organizational Schema
See Labyrinths
Origami
Advanced origami designs.
Orthopedics
Philosophy
A philosophical treatise.
Philosophy
Pillaging
From the popular How-To series.
Pillaging
Interviews with some of the best.
Piracy
For the novice pirate.
Poetry
Poetry by pirates.
Quotations
Ranching
see Lice
Recursion
See Recursion
Recipes, Voodoo
101 essential voodoo recipes.
Referential Obscurantism
See Groupings
Romance
by Melanie Leary
Romance
by Melanie Leary
Romance
by Melanie Leary
Romance
by Melanie Leary
Romance
by E. Marley, an account of her time with Guybrush Threepwood.
Romance
by Melanie Leary
Romance
by Melanie Leary
Romance
by Melanie Leary
Romance
by Melanie Leary
Sailing
Perils of showering aboard ship.
Sailing
Salmon
Modern problems facing salmon.
Scabb Island
An Introduction
Self-Help
Self-Help
Confessions of an Ex-Cannibal
Sharks
A study of Caribbean sharks.
Shipbuilding
by G. Steele
Shipwrecks
See: Disaster
Sin
Sin
Slang, Pirate
A History of Pirate Lingo
See also: Language
Sociology
Comparative social theory.
Solitaire
by Herman Toothrot
Spiritual
Spiritual
Stupidity
An analysis of the system, pat pending.
Subheadings
See Maze Construction
Subtraction
Surgery
Techniques for safe surgery.
Tattoos
Tattoos
Tattoos
Tea
by Louisa de la Cruz
Theater
Shadow Puppetry for the Two-Hook Pirate
Three-Headed Monkey
Titles
See Headings
Toast
Toenails
Periodical compendium.
Toys
Travel
A pirate handbook.
Treasure
Tree Surgery
Trilogies
by Simon Finkleberth
Trilogies
by Simon Finkleberth
Trilogies
by Simon Finkleberth
Tripe
Ulcers
Umbrellas
Underwear
Vegetables
Vicarious Living
Vices
by J.P. Ampleform
Vicious Pedantry
See Dewey Decimal System
Violins
Viruses
Vision
Volcanoes
Real estate handbook.
Voodoo
See: Recipes, Voodoo
Vulgarity
Waiting
A jillion things to do while waiting in line.
Wallpaper
Designs featuring cute cartoon characters.
Wallpaper
Psychological study.
Wallpaper
One thousand lime green designs.
Waltzes
Warthogs
Wealth
by L. Phatt
Wild Animals
Pop-up book.
Wine
How-to for the wine snob.
Woodworking
Xanthippe
Xenophobia
Xylophone
See: Music
Yacht Clubs
Yachting
Yachting on land.
Yaks
Yawning
Psychological study of yawn envy.
Yeti
Yiddish
Reference.
Yodeling
A study of yodeling as an offensive weapon.
Yorkshire Pudding
Articles and recipes.
Yo-yos
Yo-yo politics.
Yo-yos
Intermediate yo-yo tricks.
Yo-yos
Yo-yo philosophy.
Zinjanthropus
Zip Codes
See Indexes
Zippers
Zirconium
Zoology
Zoology
wharf
He's the wheel operator.
That would be rude.
He's not my type.
dealer
It won't move.\255\003Must be locked in place when the casino is closed.
It won't move.
Hey! Don't touch the wheel!
wheel
You are cordially invited to Governor Marley's Mardi Gras blowout.\255\003Don't forget to bring this invitation when you pick up your complimentary costume!\255\003Please present invitation at door and wear your costume.
invitation
\255\007\043\000
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Hello.
How ya doin'?
I'd like to place another bet.
I'd like to place a bet.
Could you explain how this game works?
Could you tell me how the game works again?\255\009\025\000
Why does that other guy keep winning so much?
How can you make any profit if that guy keeps winning?\255\009\006\000
Do many other people come to play here?
What prizes do you have left?
I just remembered. I don't gamble.
Sure! It's easy.\255\003Just tell me what number ya want^\255\003^and I'll spin the wheel.\255\003If yer number comes up, ya win!
Sounds simple.\255\003What numbers can I bet on?
One to thirty-two, red or black.
Oh, maybe he's got some^\255\003^inside help.\255\003Know what I mean?
Hey!\255\003Put a lid on it, Fred!\255\003You want the whole world to know?
Hey, I only work here.\255\003It's the owners who are losing money.
Lotsa people come to play when we've got a bunch of prizes,
But we're almost out today. We only got one left.
But we're almost out today. We only have two left.
But we're almost out today. We only have three left.
We have \255\007\044\000^\255\003^and an invitation to Governor Marley's Mardi Gras Party.
We have an invitation to Governor Marley's Mardi Gras Party.
We have \255\007\044\000!
And, of course, we have money.\255\003Sixty pieces of eight for every bet!
We have money!\255\003Sixty pieces of eight for every bet!
Wow!
That's pretty good.
I'm not impressed.
Why not? You could win big!\255\003Come back if you change your mind.
Betting costs money, kid^\255\003One piece of eight for one game.
Oh, yeah.
Here.
Ummm^\255\003I'm pretty tight with cash at the moment^\255\009\025\000
That's OK.\255\003We have charity games for people who are too broke to play.
Great.\255\003I think.
I feel sorry for you, kid.\255\003You just don't seem to have much luck.\255\003I'm going to let you play for free.
Here's one piece of eight.
Another charity game?
Ummm^\255\003Yeah.
OK, kid.\255\003Which number ya want?
black
red
No roulette number
I'd like \255\004\012\001 \255\007\034\000.
I'd like \255\004\014\001 black.
I'd like \255\004\014\001 red.
I'd like \255\004\012\001 \255\007\034\000.
I'd like \255\004\015\001 black.
I'd like \255\004\015\001 red.
I'd like \255\004\012\001 \255\007\034\000.
I'd like \255\004\016\001 black.
I'd like \255\004\016\001 red.
I'd like \255\004\012\001 \255\007\034\000.
I'd like \255\004\017\001 black.
I'd like \255\004\017\001 red.
I'd like \255\004\012\001 \255\007\034\000.
I'd like \255\004\018\001 black.
I'd like \255\004\018\001 red.
On second thought, I'll pass.
black
red
black
red
black
red
black
red
black
red
Whatever.
Here's your money back.
OK^
Here we go.
\255\004\012\001 \255\007\034\000.
You're a winner, kid.
Which of our FABulous PRIzes do you want?\255\003Take your pick!
Your choice is easy this time!
You can have 60 pieces of eight!
^OR^
You can have the invitation to Governor Marley's Mardi Gras Party!
^OR^
You can have \255\007\044\000!
Well?\255\003Which will it be?
Gimme the MONEY!\255\009\007\000
I'd love to have the INVITATION!\255\009\023\000
I really want the \255\007\045\000!
Got anything else?\255\009\006\000
He picks the MONEY!
Well, I'm out of money for today^\255\003You're lucky that you won the last of it!
He wants the INVITATION!
He wants \255\007\044\000!
Nope.\255\003But thESE prizes are FABuLOUS!
CONGRATULATIONS!
Thanks.
Well, that's it for me.\255\003We're out of money and prizes, we'll be closing soon.\255\003Thanks to everybody for playing!
Winning-number set to 0
black
red
WInning number = 0
OK^
Here we go.
\255\004\001\064 \255\007\035\000.
Too bad! Better luck next time.
Winning number set to 0
Maybe you just weren't betting on the right number^\255\003Know what I mean?
Winning number is 0
Thanks, anyway.
I hate losing.
Winning number is \255\004\012\001.
Gambler number is not 0, so number color not updated.
Winning number is 0
Place your bets please.
Care to make another bet?
Care to make a bet?
Easy money.
Big prizes for just one piece of eight.
All you have to do is watch the wheel go round.
You can't win if you don't play.
No more bets?
OK, here we go.
black
red
Winning number is gambler number.
Winning number set to 0.
\255\004\013\001 \255\007\039\000.
Gambler roulette number set to 0.
All right!
Gambler roulette number set to 0.
You're a winner, sir!\255\003Which prize would you like?
What have you got left?
We have money^\255\003^an invitation to Governor Marley's Mardi Gras Party^\255\003^and \255\007\044\000.
I'd like the money.
The money it is.
You win again!\255\003Today is your lucky day, all right!\255\003Would you like money again?
Yeah.
I think that's enough for me today.
OK, Ralphie. See you tomorrow.
Gambler roulette number set to winning roulette number.
Winning roulette number set to 0.
black
red
Winning number is 0
Excuse me, pal.
I wanna make another bet.
OK, which number?
black
red
\255\004\013\001 \255\007\039\000.
\255\004\013\001 \255\007\039\000 it is.
circus ticket
a Free Pass to see The Linguini Brothers Circus
It's a ticket to some circus show. The `Fettucini Brothers.`
CIRCUS TICKET
weekend getaway at Hook Island
a Three-Day Vacation on Fabulous Hook Island
`Three days and Two nights at Fabulous Hook Island!`
VACATION
Can't we play again?\255\003I want to win some more.
Well^\255\003No.
Aww, c'mon!
Hey! What's that behind you?
What?\255\009\006\000\255\003Where?
Hey!
Hmmm^
slot on door
wharf
I'll knock.
Winning number is 0
What d'you want, kid?
You again?
What is it this time?
You're starting to annoy me.
WHAT?!
What's the next winning number going to be?
Who are you, and what are you doing back there?
I'm selling these fine leather jackets^
Have you ever heard the legend of the Mighty Guybrush?
Open up! This is a raid!
Oops! Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you.
What's the next winning number going to be?
Who are you, and what are you doing back there?
I'm Bruno, and that's none of your business. Get lost.
I'm selling these fine leather jackets^
Sorry to bother you^
Have you ever heard the legend of the Mighty Guybrush?\255\009\027\000
Well, don't you want to hear it again?
Open up! This is a raid!\255\009\007\000
Get lost.
Oops! Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you.\255\009\006\000
Then get out of here!
Sorry, pal.
The casino is closed.
Come back tomorrow.
First give me the password.
You have to get it right three times.
If this is one^
If this is two^
If this is three^
If this is four^
If this is five^
What's this?
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
It's your hand.
I don't know. A million?\255\009\006\000
It's a stupid password system.
I hate number games.
Can't you count?
Are you trying to confuse me?\255\009\025\000
Rutabaga.
You are a very strange person, did you know that?
Oh, so you're a little smart mouth, huh?
Well, forget it!
Look, I've been generous^
Most of the guys in the Gamblers' Club can get it in three or four tries.
Are you a new member?
Or just slow?
Come back later.
No.
It's one.
It's two.
It's three.
It's four.
It's five.
OK. We'll start over.
Watch again.
OK, that's one right.
Two more.
That's two. One more.
OK, you must be a member of the Gamblers' Club.
But I don't recognize you.
What! You don't remember me?\255\009\006\000
No, I was transferred here today. New orders.
No^
But that's OK.
You wouldn't have gotten the password right if you weren't a member.
What?
Umm^ Sorry^\255\009\025\000\255\003I had a flashback there.\255\003What I meant was that I just joined today.
Oh. OK.
Right.
black
red
The winning number will be \255\004\012\001 \255\007\034\000.
What do you want?
I already told you that the number would be \255\004\012\001 \255\007\034\000^
And I only fix one game at a time.
Gimme the next number.
First give me the password.
If this is one^
If this is two^
If this is three^
If this is four^
If this is five^
What's this?
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Right.
Gambler number set to Winning-roulette-number
Winning number is 0
black
red
The winning number will be \255\004\013\001 \255\007\039\000.
Thanks.
path
newly discovered gaping hole
waterfall
waterfall
waterfall
path
gaping hole
Very picturesque.
What is this doing in a pirate game?
That doesn't seem to work.
pump
path
It's a cottage on a hill.
cottage
cave
path
I'm too short.
Looks like a big hole.
hole
Guybrush
Oh, my head.
**grb**
**burp**
**slp**
**fsk**
**hic**
**wsd**
**umph**
When I can see far, you are near.
plaque
It's a grotesque monkey statue.
Hello, Mr. Monkey.\255\003Uh^\255\001Sir?\255\003Oh well.
grotesque statue
It's a grotesque monkey statue.
Hello, Mr. Monkey.\255\003Uh^\255\001Sir?\255\003Oh well.
grotesque statue
I respect privacy too much.
It's stuck.
window
path
I don't want to be a Peeping Tom.
It's stuck.
window
There're lots of bottles inside.
Nice window.
window
door
It's just an empty mug.
It's filled with near-grog.
Looks like an awful lot of grog.
Yuch, mud.
It's filled with a colored drink.
I don't like watered-down grog.
Gross.
I don't like to mix my drinks.
There's no need to do that anymore.
The mug is already empty.
mug o' grog@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
It's empty.
It looks just like my mug of grog.
I think I'll leave it here for Rum Rogers.
mug o' grog@@@@@
table
There's a burn mark on the bricks.
There's nothing but bricks to look at.
I feel pretty.\255\003Oh, so pretty.\255\003So pretty and witty and wise.
mirror
I don't want an empty frame.
mirror frame
It's already open
It's already closed.
shutters
door
They look like normal crates o' rum.
I can't hold my alcohol.
crates o' rum
They're half empty.
I can't hold my alcohol.
bottles o' rum
They're half empty.
I can't hold my alcohol.
bottles o' rum
They're half empty.
I can't hold my alcohol.
bottles o' rum
They're half empty.
I can't hold my alcohol.
bottles o' rum
They're half empty.
I can't hold my alcohol.
bottles o' rum
brick
brick
Just like the trap door I had when I was a kid.
It won't budge.
It's already closed
It won't budge.
trap door
I don't want to sit right now.
stool
brick
Looks like a tree to me.
tree
brick
A brick is a brick is a brick.
I can't move that.
I'm not a mason.
I don't want to carry that around.
brick
brick
He certainly does like his rum.
liquor cabinet
They all say `RUM`.
I can't hold my alcohol.
bottles o' rum
They look like normal barrels o' rum.
I can't hold my alcohol.
barrels o' rum
mug o' grog
mirror
empty grog mug
Back again, eh?
Let's get this over with.
Yes? What do you want?
I was wondering if I could come in for a minute.
I'm selling these fine Corinthian leather jackets.
I'm conducting a survey. May I ask you a few questions?
Is the lady of the house home?
I'm looking for a map.
Oops. Wrong place.
What do you REALLY want?
I'm looking for a map.
I heard about this guy who used to live here ^
I'd like to find out some information from you.
Sorry to bother you. I'll go now.
I knew it.
Look, kid:\255\003I'm sick of you would-be treasure hunters comin' over here.
I just inherited this house two months ago.\255\003And every single day, all I've heard is `**rap tap tap** Do you have a treasure here?`
Why can't you people just go away and leave a retired pirate in peace?
All I want to do is come in for a minute.
Please.
Pretty please.
I won't touch anything.
I'm Guybrush Threepwood. Prepare to die.
No.
I said `NO!`
Leave me alone.
I'm tired of being hassled.
So ^ you want to sword fight, do you?\255\003Sword fighting is for wimps, weenies, and sissies.
Giving up so easily?
Wow, this game's a cinch.
I have a better way to solve a dispute.\255\003Real pirates solve their differences with a drinking contest.
Drinking contest?!
Come on in.
I'll get us set up.
This is my special grog.\255\003It's just for contests.\255\003Twice the alcohol, twice the calories.
I can't believe you're back for more.\255\003Most people just give up and go away.\255\003In fact, I'd really like it if you went away.
Don't you know when enough is enough?\255\003You know you're not going to beat me.\255\003I'm the best at this contest.
I wish I'd never bought this house.\255\003It's only caused me trouble.\255\003All these treasure hunters wanting to come in.
Excuse the boxes.\255\003I haven't had time to put them all away.\255\003Especially with all the people trying to get into my house.
I hate having to waste it.
Well, I guess you're serious about this contest.
OK, let's get on with it.
But I guess you want to go through with this.
Here's your drink ^
mug o' grog
I'll only use part of it.
1/\255\004\211\001 bottle o' near-grog
empty grog mug
All gone.
Are you sure you don't want to back out?
No, thanks.\255\003I can hold my own.
No, thanks.\255\003I'll be fine.
No, thanks.\255\003I'm a pro.
You drink first.
Just what I expected.
Typical.
Novice.
He's too young to drink anyway.
mug o' grog
Oh, you already drank yours.
Boy! You're good at this contest.
That was fast.
You must be thirsty.
Take mine. I'll go get more.
mug o' grog
Now it's your turn.
empty grog mug
Guybrush
empty grog mug
Oh. Your grog's a funny color.
It might have spoiled.
From what I'm told,\255\003Nobody can drink the special contest grog without feeling faint.
There's a special drink that I like.
You ever tried booze from the West?
I used to like this drink when I was younger ^
I found this great drink from a foreign land.
On the ship, we had a drink that we couldn't live without.
My usual drink used to be a strange drink made by cannibals.
But I've been practicing.
It's a bit on the bitter side.
Makes your lips pucker.
It's rather sweet.
It's smooth as a pirate's savvy.
It's sharper than a forked tongue.
Tastes just like chicken.
You know, most of the treasure hunters just leave when I ask them to.
But it's powerful medicine.
But it's weaker than a sponge soaked in water.
But it hurts as it goes down.
But it slides down the throat like fire.
But it's stronger than a mule team.
But it's got a wonderful aroma.
But you.\255\003You're persistent.
I guzzled it with the best of them.
Never could get enough of that stuff.
Used to drink it all the time.
I had cases and cases of it\255\003All in one day.
Used to drink barrels and barrels of it.
My buddies and I drank it faster than we could open the bottles.
It'll get you places in life, boy.
I could give it up anytime I wanted.
Then I came to my senses.
Then there was a shortage of it a few years ago.
Then my supply ran out ^\255\003And my girlfriend went with it.
Then the taxes on it were raised.
Then I realized that I relied on it to get up in the morning.
But it won't get you into my house.
But I needed something else,\255\003so I drank rum.
So I started drinking rum to fill the gap in my life.
That's why I started drinking rum.
That was when I took up rum.
My next drink of choice was rum.
So I switched to drinking rum.
Guybrush
mirror frame
I shouldn't take Rum's mug.
Guybrush
Guybrush
Guybrush
1/\255\004\211\001 bottle o' near-grog
grog mug with near-grog
I don't want to use all of this.
grog mug with colored-drink
I don't have to do that anymore.
I don't like to mix my drinks.
No house should be without one of these.
butt slide
I can see inside Rum's house from here.
I can't reach it.
trap door
It's a skeleton holding a piece of map.
It's not mine to use.
map piece@@@@@
hole
Looks like he died while taking a bath.
Yuck! I don't want to touch it.
Skeletons don't talk.
skeleton in bathtub
hand and map
It says `Trespassers not delivering foodstuffs will be persecuted.`
sign
door
path
gate
The gate is closed.
stairs
couch
paintings
outside
guard
Hey, aren't you supposed to be in jail?
I got time off for good behavior.
You must be confusing me with my cousin Guybrush.
Governor Phatt had me set free.
Yes, but I broke out.
Oh, I see.\255\003The resemblance is uncanny.
Ha ha.\255\003That's a good one.\255\003Walt would have chewed you to bits.
Oh.
Can I go upstairs?
When will the Governor be finished eating?
I think there's a fire in the kitchen.
Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!\255\009\007\000
I'd love to stay and chat but I'm due at the manicurist's.\255\009\026\000
I'm sorry, but the Governor doesn't want to be disturbed while he's eating.
I said the Governor is not to be disturbed while he's eating.
Really?
I'd better check it out.
Really?
I'd better fetch the cook!
Maybe you should get a shave while you're at it.
Ha ha ha ha.
Hold it!\255\003You can't go up there.
The cover says `\255\006\100\000.`
Famous Pirate Quotations@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Sleeping like a baby.\255\003^a baby elephant.
I don't think I could move him.
Ick.
I don't think I'd better wake him up.
Governor Phatt
There's food or something stuck in the drain.
wash basin
It seems to go off before stuff comes out of the tube.
alarm
alarm
I don't think this has been washed in about ten years.
bed table
There are crumbs and condiments all over it.
Ick.
bed
door
Why, yes, Miss Bilkfarm, I'd love another case of eclairs.
Ah, sugarplums^
More! More spaghetti pie!
Look out for the custard!
And the winner of the weenie-eating contest is^\255\003Governor Phatt!
More sauce on the goose, please.
Cranberries? Yes, I love cranberries!
Careful with those pitons, or we'll fall into the jello.
Now I've got to eat my way out of the sea of tapioca pudding.
Why, that's the second biggest pound cake I've ever seen!
Careful with those snacks, Eugene.
Yes, my single-handed defeat of the Fudge Brigade WAS rather amazing.
My kingdom for a peanut butter goat cream truffle!
^and I promise cheese and chocolate sprinkles in every pot^
Show me again how to hypnotize a rhino with an all-day sucker.
When thinking the brain resembles a swiss cheese^
Just back the truck in.
Hello? I'd like a hundred gallons of butterscotch topping please.
No, you can't have a bite, it's mine.\255\003Get your own, mother.
The world is my chocolate Easter egg.
I think I almost woke him up!
Dread's Ship
Ville de la Booty
Small Structure
Mansion@@@@@@@@@@@
Cliff
Big Tree
Ville de la Booty
Governor's Mansion
Guard Kiosk
door
door
path
path
door
The sign says `The Booty Boutique.`\255\003`Mementos, Souvenirs, Artifacts`
sign
Gee, I wonder if he's loaded.
old man@@@@@@@@
Gee, I wonder if it's loaded.
Hey! Don't touch that!
We only set that off when the mail boat comes in.
cannon
What are you looking at?
What?
I think she'd slug me.
woman in big hat
Capsize Charters, glass-bottom boat for sightseeing or special-interest voyages.\255\003There's a picture of her on it.
leaflet
What a piece of junk.
Dread's ship
Captain Kate
Augustus DeWaat
Hello again.
Hello there.
I just stopped by to say hello again.
I said HELLO THERE. My name's Threepwood.
I'd like to introduce myself. My name's Threepwood.
What kind of mishaps were there at the treasure hunt?
Hey, old man. How about blowing off the cannon?\255\009\007\000
And what are the official purposes of this cannon?
Whatcha lookin' at?
You don't have a brother named Marty, do you?
Nothing. Never mind. Bye.
Well, I'm off.\255\009\026\000
Maybe I'll just wait until you do.
Oh, why hello there Threepwood.\255\003You in town for Mardi Gras?
Oh yes. Well, are you enjoying Mardi Gras?
No, I'm on a treasure hunt!
Hey, if it's a party, I'm there.\255\009\027\000
Is this the right time of year for Mardi Gras?
What kind of mishaps were there at the treasure hunt?
That's where I'm going right now. Bye.
Yep. Can't talk now. Having too much fun.
You kids today^
^always on the go-go-go.
What? They doin' a treasure hunt again this year?\255\003I can't believe they'd try that again after all the mishaps last time.
Dang! There goes all my fun.
I meant a REAL treasure hunt. You know. For money.
What kind of mishaps?
Well, I'd better let you get back to work^
Well, if it's a party your looking for^
Son, it's always Mardi Gras on Booty Island.
Well, if it's fun you're looking for^
Well, there's always Governor Marley's party.
I hear Governor Marley is having some super shindig up at her mansion.
Marley? That's funny. I used to date a Governor Marley.\255\009\025\000
How do you know so much about parties?
Maybe I'll just go up there now. Bye.\255\009\026\000
Sounds fun.
Maybe I'll go there right now.\255\009\026\000
Yeah, live it up while you're young.
Yeah, live it up while you're young.
Oh sure^\255\003And I'll bet you helped her beat LeChuck, too.
You'd better believe it!\255\009\007\000
No, I beat him all by myself!
Don't laugh. I've got the proof right here^
You're right. I'm lying. I'm so ashamed.
^in my pock--\255\003--whoops. Uh^
Hey, hey, kid. It's OK.\255\003Mardi Gras is the time for fantasy.
Now just run along and enjoy yourself.
I used to be the governor of this island.\255\003But I never had any time to come down here and enjoy the party.
So I quit, and now I watch out for the mail boat.\255\003Which reminds me, I have to get back to work.
For money?\255\003Look, son, this ain't some back alley on Phatt.\255\003If you're looking for gambling you've come to the wrong place.
Well, some people got carried away^\255\003^some graves got dug up^\255\003^horrible business.
How about just blowing off?\255\003My name is Augustus DeWaat, not `old man.`\255\003And this cannon is for official purposes only.
I watch the sea, and when the mail boat arrives, I blow this cannon.
Dang ship's three days late.
Boy, the only Marty I know is Marty Graw!
Who?
Mardi Gras!\255\003It's a joke, boy, a joke.\255\003You are here for Mardi Gras, aren't you?
Well, enjoy Mardi Gras.
Augustus DeWaat
Sorry son, didn't have my horn out.\255\003Could you say that again?
Eh, what was that?
You talking to me, boy?
You again?\255\003Still mumbling, I see.
Speak up!\255\003There is a party going on, remember.
What was that?\255\003Are you lost?
How am I supposed to keep my ear to the sea with you bugging me all the time?
Eh?
Cruises!
Sightseeing!
Sunken Galleons!
Glass-bottom boat!
Check it out!
See the world!
Three-hour tours!
Last day before I leave for Phatt Island!
By the way, my name's Guybrush.
Hi, my name's Guybrush.
Could I have one of those leaflets?
I'm ready to head out again.\255\009\026\000
I'm ready to set sail!\255\009\026\000
I'm interested in chartering a ship.
Are you the same Kate who bought all the near-grog \254\008 at the Bloody Lip?
I'm searching for the treasure of Big Whoop.
I just remembered I'm late for a party.\255\009\026\000
Captain Kate
I'm Captain Kate Capsize.
Like to charter a ship?\255\003I do weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, you name it.
Yeah, OK.
Hey, these things cost money.
Great!
Not many people want to charter a glass-bottomed boat around here.\255\003Pretty soon I'm off to Phatt Island to try my luck there, but let's talk turkey first.
Yeah, and you can't have any of it, so don't ask.
You and everybody else on this island.\255\003If you need a ship, you know where to find me.
OK, show me where you want to go this time.
Yeah?\255\003When I was first mate on the Limping Limpet we went in search of Big Whoop.\255\003We'd heard it was buried under a place called Blinky Island.\255\003Never found the island OR the treasure.
The captain eventually died of boredom while we were crossing the Sea of Beige Flotsam.\255\003Hope your luck is better.
My fee is 6000 pieces of eight.
As I mentioned, my fee is 6000 pieces of eight.
Don't you think 6000 pieces of eight is a bit high?\255\009\025\000
I'm afraid I don't have any money.
All I have is \255\004\049\001 pieces of eight.
OK, I'll pay you the 6000 pieces of eight.
Do you give credit?
I'll come back later.
No, I don't.
Well, perhaps you'd better get some.
I guess you'd better find some more, then, huh?
You've chartered yourself a ship.
My name's Kate Capsize, I'll be your Captain.
Are you ready to leave now?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
OK, I'll be here.
Yeah, I'm hot to find the wreck of the Mad Monkey!
Yeah, let's blow this popsicle stand.\255\009\026\000
No, I need to take care of a few things first.
I'm not sure where I want to go.\255\009\006\000
Have you got a course planned or anything?
I can show you where I want to go on this map that Captain Dread gave me.
Let me know when you're ready to head out.\255\003I'll be here.
You'd best figure that out, then come back and let me know.
I don't need any more money from you.
I take it you want to charter my ship.\255\003All right, that's six thousand pieces of eight.
Thanks!\255\003You've just chartered yourself a ship!
If you want to charter my ship, it'll cost you six thousand pieces of eight.
I don't recognize this at all.\255\003You'd better take it to an expert.
Thanks, I've already got some.
Thanks, but no thanks.
I have a treasure guarantee policy with all my charters.\255\003Since you came back empty-handed, we can go out again, free of charge.\255\003Just let me know if you want to go.
Let me know when you're ready to try again.
Well, congratulations on your find, Guybrush.\255\003Be sure and tell any friends you might have about Capsize Charters.\255\003See you around the turnpike.
Hmmm^ Maybe THAT'S the mail boat.
That sounds like the mail boat!\255\003I'd better fire the cannon!
That oughta do it.
Course, I don't see no mail boat^
Well, where's the mail boat?
Thought I heard it^
Was THAT it?
Uh^ Maybe?
I see.
Maybe later.
It's too peaceful out here for that.
I don't want to disturb the fish.
Then why don't you pipe down?
Oooh, I don't want to upset the wheel^
Not in here^\255\003The echo might kill me.
I don't want to push it.
I don't think I should use it indoors.
Au contraire!\255\003This here's an indoor-outdoor model.\255\003Suitable for even the best of my Kozy Krypts\015!
I think I've been enough of a pest.
I think I should save my breath.
Who knows what enormous deadly cave creature I'd wake up?\255\003No thanks.
Just to let LeChuck know where I am?\255\003No thanks.
I don't think I should use it indoors.
I don't think this is a good spot.\255\003Bad acoustics.
Don't even think about it.
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Come here often?
I can hold my breath for ten minutes!
You know, they call me the Bone Master.
You know, I could really fall for a girl like you.
What's your sign?
How'd you like to come up and see my etchings?
Wanna feel my muscles?
Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful eyes?
Wanna see my scar?
Let's get out of here and go someplace where we can talk.
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
Aren't you a famous model?
Wanna help me search for buried treasure?
You look like a pretty classy babe.\255\003You must be a stewardess.
You'd be in good hands with me, baby.
Trying to avoid guys like you.
Once TOO often, obviously.
You'll have to wait a lot longer than that to pick ME up.
I'm surprised anyone calls you at all.
Hopefully off a cliff.
`No trespassing.`
How'd you like a nice Hawaiian Punch?
Call me when you can find one.
Has anyone ever swallowed that line?
I've seen lobotomies, thanks.
Preferably long distance.
Just the part with the knuckles.
Aren't you a famous jerk?
How would you like to BE buried treasure?
I guess I was wrong when I thought you couldn't possibly be as dumb as you look.
You can go be in your OWN hands, creep.
Ba
Baa
Baaa
Baaaa
Baaaaa
Baaaaao
Baaaaaoo
Baaaaaooo
Baaaaaoooo
Baaaaaoooog
Baaaaaooooga
111100101011110101001101101111110101111111101001100101001100000000100000001000011000000010
BBBBCCCCFFZZZEEEI
AAAACCCCEEEFFIZZZ
AAAABBBBEEEEFFIZZZ
CCCCFFZZZEEEI
CCFFFZZZZIII
GGGGABCEIZ
HHHGGGG
SSSRRRR
JAAAABBBBCCCCDDDDEEEE
HHHHSSS
ABCDEI
ABCDEI
`First Place`
flag
`Second Place`
flag
`Third Place`
flag
Ah, the whole world loves a spitting contest.
I'm not looking for a fight.
crowd
fault line
`Pirates' Spit Contest`
banner
path
path
`Pirates' Spit Contest`
banner
`SPIT FUN SPIT FUN`
banners
It's a plaque with an old-looking gob of something on it.
For what? A paperweight?
spit plaque
Sorry, kid.\255\003Only one plaque to a spitter.
I'll give it a try.
A volunteer!
Alright, settle down folks.\255\003This kid looks like a serious contender.
What's your name, boy?
Juicious Maximus the Third.
Well, they call me The Phlegm Master.
I am, of course, Captain Loogie.\255\009\027\000
Whoops! Thought this was croquet. Bye.
The Juice Man!\255\003Max Mucus!\255\003He's juicy to the max!
The Phlegmster!\255\003The Phlegmalizer!\255\003The Master of Phlegm!
The Loogster!\255\003Loog-o-rama!\255\003Hockin' the big ones for fame and fortune!
Oh, no. Dry tongue at the last minute!
Well, what about you folks?
(ahem)
Dribble Boy is back!
Juicious Maximus has returned!
The Phlegm Master, ready for his comeback!
Captain Loogie is in the house!
Spit away!
Swish-swish.
Hooooooock!
Chwwwwwwk!
Ptooie!
Spit? That's gross! I'm outta here.
Spit? That's gross! I'm outta here.
Misfire! Misfire!
Everybody run!
Maybe a little over the max on the juice, there.
Well, so much for the Phlegm Master.
Gee, that's too bad, Captain.
Well, better luck next time, Dribble Boy.
Let's give him a big hand anyway, folks.
At least he tried.
He's cleared first place!
That was truly awe-inspiring!\255\003Sports fans, we've seen something incredible here today!
Let me congratulate you and give you this fine commemorative plaque.
I think you've earned the title `Phlegm Master` now.
You truly are the Master of Phlegm.
I salute you, Captain Loogie.
Way to go, Juicious.
Come on, let's give him a hand.
Of course, there are plenty more prizes for the rest of you.\255\003So how about it, gang?
What's this? A surprise turnaround in performance?
It looks like he's rallying!
Hey, he's been working out!
Oh, and I thought he was going to go all the way.
Looks like someone stopped practicing.
Oooh, he's slipping folks.
Well, no records here.
At least he's consistent.
Once again^
Looks like second place.
Looks like third place.
That doesn't quite qualify.
^but^
I think that deserves a little applause^
Too bad there are only prizes for first place.\255\003Better luck next time.
Now, how about the rest of you?
I'm sick of that old codger and his false alarms!
Sounds like old Augustus spotted the mail boat!
Again?
False alarm.
As I was saying^
I don't want to push it.
Cheat? With everyone watching?
I'd better not move them any farther^\255\003^these guys are dumb, but not THAT dumb.
Spitmaster
Spitmaster
OK, now who's gonna be next?
It's a great day for spitting!
Just look at this juicy crowd!
Step up to the line and test your swill!
Valuable prizes!
Even a child can do it!\255\003In fact, they do it very well!
Come on. It's all paid for by Booty Island Parks and Rec!
Just put your two lips together and blow!
Are you pirates or not?
Two, four, six, eight!\255\003Come on, let's expectorate!
Everybody already has the necessary equipment.
Turn a disgusting habit into a prestige-winning skill!
Don't let this grass wither up and die!
What was that? Did I hear somebody swallow?\255\003What a waste!
Thousands will spit. Hundreds will win!
No volunteers? If Blackbeard were here he'd shoot you all right now.
Don't be shy! Let it fly!
I know you want to volunteer^\255\003^it's on the tip of your tongue.
You think spitting is gross?\255\003I'll tell you what's gross--\255\003Swallowing that stuff is gross.
Prove to me that you guys are at least as fun as a pack of llamas.
I hear there are some scouts here from the pro spitting circuit^
This may be your last chance at popularity and success!
Me! Me!
Sure looks enthusiastic about spitting.
I'm not stupid enough to fall for my own trick!
We're with ya, Juicious!
Alright, Phlegm-master!
C'mon, Captain Loogie!
You show 'em, Dribble Boy!
Let's go!
Spit!
Come on!
Let 'er rip!
You can do it!
Better not blow it, man.
Hey spitter hey spitter hey spitter^
You stink!
Hummm, baby!
Right on!
What are you waiting for?
I don't think he's got the lips for it.
C'mon! What are you? Afraid?
Shouldn't he be disqualified by now?
\255\007\029\000
\255\007\029\000
\255\007\029\000
wreath
vase
tiki lights
He looks like he's really into this stuff.
Call me Stingy,\255\003but I'm not giving away my money.
That's worth way too much to give back.
That's not mine to give away.
What?!!\255\003Am I nuts?
I'm not that stupid.
I'm not giving that away.
I already have too many of those.
I can't take that back.\255\003Some of the teeth are bent.
Actually, this might come in handy later.
I'd like to keep this so I can look at myself.
Sorry kid.\255\003I don't do sports nostalgia.
Get that piece of junk out of here.
Hey! That's thing's not sanitary anymore!\255\003Get it away from me!
No, thanks.
I don't think he'd like that.
antique dealer
It's not mine to use.
map piece
hub caps
whale painting
I always wanted one of these.
Soil the King's image?\255\003Sacrilege!
rock and roll collector's plate
cannon
eye patches
I feel pretty.
I feel pretty.
Better not. That parrot looks mean.
I don't want to make that parrot mad.
I feel pretty.
I feel pretty.
He likes it where it is.
mirror
bowswain's wheel
The bag is empty.
The bag is empty.
I don't think it would want that.
The bag is empty.
HEY! Don't do that to my parrot.
HEY! Don't do that to my parrot.
Sorry, he's not for sale.
parrot
The bag is empty.
The bag is empty.
I don't think it would want that.
The bag is empty.
HEY! Don't do that to my parrot.
HEY! Don't do that to my parrot.
Sorry, he's not for sale.
parrot
small picture frame
ship's horn
gross skulls
Indy's whip\015
It has a picture of a parrot on the front.
The bag is empty.
The bag is empty.
I think he likes it where it is.
Would you mind leaving that here?\255\003The parrot likes it even better than the mirror.
parrot chow
`Beware of Parrot`
sign
rock and roll collector's plate
treasure chest
cannon balls
mask
barrel
anchor
door
It may be old, but it's still shiny and sharp.
I don't think I should cut that.
well-polished old saw
`left turn` sign
pirate hats
feather pen
small picture frame
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
peg leg
It belongs to the antique dealer now.
I wouldn't want to do anything that would devalue it.
monkey head
I paid for it.\255\003I don't have to put it back.
I don't want to hang that there.
It's firmly attached to the wall.
hook
It's never too early to prepare for the holidays.
As what? A hat?
wreath
`Inspected by 27`
Nah. I have a thing about lice.
pirate hat
This might make a nice wall hanging.
I don't have a use for it.
hub cap
Just like the pen from Mom and Dad's wedding!
No ink.\255\003Nothing much to write about, anyway.
feather pen
`Made in Hong Kong`
ship's horn
Polly want a cracker?
Parrot
\255\007\040\000
How much is the map piece?
Do you take Visa?
What kind of trade-ins do you accept?
What would you trade for the map piece?
Can you tell me about the ship with the figurehead?
Please tell me about the ship with the figurehead again.
Nice shop you got here.
I have to go now.
I have to go now.
How much is it?
Visa. Visa. Visa.
Do you accept?
Trade for map piece?
About ship.
About ship.
The map piece is made of authentic parchment from the turn of the century.\255\003Can't find things like that anymore.
Yah, but how much is it?
About six million pieces o' eight.
Um ^ I don't think I have that much to spend.
Well ^ I do have some nice fake maps for less.
No thanks.
Yeah, like you have one.
But I do accept personal checks or trade-ins.
I'll take most old swords,\255\003some used parrots,\255\003almost anything valuable made of bronze,\255\003and a few old ship parts.
Would you give me the map piece for any of those things?
No. But there's one thing I might trade for the map piece.
There was a certain ship that sunk and I'd really like the figurehead.
I'd give you the map if you got the figurehead for me.
The ship was a huge galleon named The Mad Monkey.\255\003Nobody knows where it sank or why.\255\003But, the figurehead is supposed to be the most fabulous piece of art ever.
That's why I want it.\255\003I'm a collector of fine art, as I'm sure you can see.
What a coincidence!\255\003I just so happen to have that very figurehead.
Thanks. I pride myself on the quality of my merchandise.
I only sell the finest of pirate memorabilia.\255\003Even the trade-ins are first class.
And I always make you the best deals.
How can you afford to do that?
Volume.
Guybrush
The figurehead from the Mad Monkey!
The Maaaaaad Monkey!
Ordinarily, I'd pay six million pieces o' eight for this.\255\003But I'm a bit short on the cash right now.
I'll give you this Big Whoop map piece for it.
Sure. I'll take the map piece.
Well, well, well.\255\003I didn't think anyone would ever get the Mad Monkey's figurehead.
The Maaaaaad Monkey!
Can I get the map piece now?
Sure.
It's yours.
Guybrush
The Maaaaaad Monkey!
sword sheath?@
cheese grater?
Beeeauuuutiful
Isn't he a beautiful parrot?
He's preoccupied with his reflection.
I think he's in love.
Beeeauuuutiful
Isn't he a beautiful parrot?
He's preoccupied with his reflection.
I think he's in love.
Pretty bird.
Mr. Polly likes that mirror.
Yeah, he seems to be in love with his reflection.
SQUAWK!
It says, `Beware of Parrot.`
Hook Peter.
That's an authentic pirate's fishhook.\255\003Found it inside a crocodile who was too petered out to move.
BRAAAACK!
Thanks for giving that to me.\255\003I think the parrot likes it.
Big Whoop.
That's part of the Big Whoop treasure map.\255\003I don't know a lot about the piece, but there's supposed to be a book in the library that tells all about the whole map.
Rock and Roll rules.
That collectible plate is worth a mint.
Wow! I knew those would be valuable one day.
Scale skull skin.
Those are authentic scale reproductions of rotting skulls rendered in sun-bleached whalebone.\255\003There's even some loose skin to hang them up from.
A whale by any other name.
That's the legendary white whale.\255\003Never been caught, except on canvas.
Does it have a name?
Dunno.
Maybe. Maybe not.\255\003Nothing says a whale must have a name.
Don't blow a fuse.
That's a Mark VII `devastator` triple-cannon emplacement.\255\003If only they'd thought to leave a hole for the fuse.
They're great!
You'd look good in one of those.\255\003And they're great for parties.
Last noise.
I made that myself from my last parrot.\255\003Got too noisy for me.
Iron cast.
Check out these balls!\255\003They're made of a fine iron cast.
Barter.
I was told that these are used as a form of barter in the inner cities.
Every shape.
I have an eyepatch in every shape.
Third wheel.
I got that as a gift from a man I saved few years ago.\255\003Don't have much use for a wheel, but he said one good turn deserves another.
A good friend.
It was handmade by a good friend of mine from another island.
Real holy raid.
That's the real thing!\255\003As seen in `Raiders`, `Temple`, `Holy Grail`, and `The Young Chronicles`.
It's empty.
It's said that the infamous Greenbeard won that barrel from Long John Cooper in a poker game.\255\003Shame that it's empty.
Ship horn.
That's a real ship's horn just like the ones used on modern ships.
Pinhead.
It looks like Spiffy the Pinhead.
It's empty.
It's empty.
Stopping power.
It's ergomically formulated to enhance stopping power.
Holidays, smalidays.
That's a great gift for the holidays.
Sea saw.
Found that beauty at the bottom of the sea.\255\003She cleaned up real nicely though.
Never call it dead until it drops.
That's a sign I took from the famous Precipice View Road.
I've never heard of it.
They call it `Dead Man's Drop` now.
Famous pirates not for sale.
Ah, the famous ceremonial lights from the pirates of the South Pacific.\255\003Those aren't for sale.
Wenches, smenches.
It's a picture of a couple of wenches.
Pirate.
It's a picture of a pirate with peg legs.
Exactly what is it?
I'm not sure exactly what this is.
Vase.
It's a beautiful antique porcelain vase.
I'd like to buy this^\255\003^thing.
I'd like to buy these \255\006\000\064.
I'd like to buy this \255\006\000\064.
Sorry, that sign's not for sale.
Oh.
Well, ah ^
I guess I could sell it.
You already bought the last one I have for sale.\255\003I need to keep at least one for a display model.
Actually, those belong to my son.\255\003They aren't for sale.
I just keep those here because they're cool.\255\003They're not for sale.
I just couldn't part with those.\255\003They have sentimental value.
Yah, I like that too.\255\003But it's not for sale.
That's one of my favorite things in the store.\255\003But I don't have enough back stock to sell it.
That's great, huh?\255\003Too bad it's not for sale.
I only have one of those.\255\003So I need to keep it as a display model.
That's 6,000,000 pieces o' eight.\255\003Do you want it?
Excellent choice.
I see you have an eye for quality.
Alrighty.
Okeydokey.
Great!
And I'd like to sell you one of them.
And I'd like to sell it to you.
They're \255\004\002\064 pieces o' eight each.
That'll be \255\004\002\064 pieces o' eight.
I can't afford that much.
Too bad.
If you really want it, I could buy back some of the stuff you bought from me.
OK. I'll take it.
On second thought, I'd better save my money.
Your loss.
It's yours.
Let me get you one from overstock.
Here you go.
Thank you.
How much will you give me for this plaque?
I'm not interested.
What do you mean? It's worth a mint!
You'd be interested if you knew how valuable it was.
OK, but you're missing a great deal here.
For a lump of pus on a shingle?
That's not just any lump of pus.
It's better than most of the junk in here.
Fine. Your loss, buddy.
Oh yeah?\255\003What's so special about it?
The spit of the person who killed LeChuck is on it.
It's made out of rare, ecologically safe materials.
Actually, it's so valuable, I'd better keep it.
Really?!\255\003That would make it very valuable.\255\003And I do like bronze, anyway.
I'll give you 6000 pieces o' eight for it.
It's a deal.
Uh-huh.
Can I sell back these \255\006\000\064?
Can I sell back this \255\006\000\064?
Sure.
Heck, I'll even give you back what you paid for them.
Heck, I'll even give you back what you paid for it.
Thanks.
Well, I was feeling guilty about how much I charged you anyway.
Hey, I'm a fair guy.
Call me soft hearted.
After all, this ain't Stan's.
We aim to please.
No one leaves here unsatisfied.
Hey!\255\003Take that thing outside, will ya?
door
What a beautiful dress!
I don't want to wear this right now.
dress
That reminds me:\255\003I want to buy the latest comic book by Steve Purcell\015.
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Sam and Max\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Bonnie Bird\015
I don't know what it is, but it sure is ugly.
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
ugly green head
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Cosmic Clown\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Mighty Moose\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Caroline Crocodile\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Bowling Boy\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Rickety Rabbit\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Sailor Pat\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Leggy Duck\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Joanne Lizard\015
That doesn't look like any cannibal I've ever seen.
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Cannibal Moe\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Wunky Elephant\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
M\136l\130e Monkey\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Rhinoceros Ted\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Bri Dog\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Caveman Fred\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Sumi Frog\015
I should check with the shopkeeper first.
Sorry, that costume's rented.
Barbie Q. Fish\015
shopkeeper
He looks really busy.
Leave me alone. I saw that already.
Sorry, no returns.
No, thank you.
I don't want to pin him.
Excuse me^
You can pick up your costume anytime.
Hope you're enjoying your costume.
I'd like to rent a costume.
I'd really like to rent a costume.
I'd really REALLY like to rent a costume.
I NEED to rent a costume.
I HAVE TO rent a costume.
My life depends on renting a costume.
Did I ask you about renting a costume yet?
Um, I'm looking for a costume.
PLEASE rent me a costume.
But you have tons of costumes.
Why are your costumes so popular?
You look busy. I'll come back later.
Our costumes are all gone or on reserve.
I hear there're invitations available in the gambling alley on Phatt Island.\255\003One reserved costume per invitation.
Sorry.
Try us after Mardi Gras.
Or get an invitation at the casino on Phatt Island.
Look. If you don't have a reservation, you don't have a costume.
I said, I'm all out.
I told you, we don't have any more costumes.
Can't you see I'm busy?
Sorry, can't help you.
Next time make a reservation.
I don't have a costume for you.
They're all reserved and waiting to be picked up.
I'm the only costume shop in a five-island radius.
And besides, everybody who's anybody is going to the big Mardi Gras celebration at Governor Marley's mansion.
Ah, you have a costume on reserve!
Well, that's a different story!
Let's see^
Your costume is right over here^
Walk this way, please.
Well, here it is.\255\003You'll surely be the talk of the party in this.
Well, have fun and enjoy your costume.
This is really nice.
Neat.
I like this one.
Great costume.
I had one like that when I was a kid.
I think this one's my favorite.
I wonder if I can rent this one.
Spacious.
I'm not ready for that yet.
Hey, take your time. No hurry.
I'm no magician.
coffin
I nailed them in there pretty good.\255\003Don't think I can get them out.
They must have fused with the teflon gasket!\255\003Oh Lord, I'm doomed!
coffin nail
coffin nail
coffin nail
coffin nail
coffin nail
Nice finish.
I'm no magician.
coffin
Are you still out there?\255\003Hello?
Bye now!
door
Uh^ be there in a minute.
bell
It's locked.
It's empty.
I don't want to get in trouble.
It's open and empty.
cash register
`Stan's Kozy Krypts\015 -- A Place to Spend Eternity, Not a Fortune.`
crypt key
That's disgusting!
`When the tears come, shouldn't you be prepared?\255\003-Stans Previously-Owned Coffins.`
clean, white hankie
It's nailed shut!
I almost forgot.\255\003I wanted you to have this complimentary hankie.
Just my way of saying, `I care.`
Now, where were we?\255\003Oh yeah.
Sure, sure. Try out the lid operation.\255\003It's just as roomy closed.
HOWDY!!!
Welcome to Stan's Previously Owned Coffins!\255\003We handle the dead for a lot less bread.
What are you looking for, son?
Need a bin for your next of kin?
Want a family plot without spending a lot?
You're in luck!
Just look at all this quality merchandise!
Never before touched by a living soul.
Most of it used only for a few hours^
^premature burial, you know. That sort of thing.
Well, speak up. Or are you dead?\255\003Either way, you came to the right place.
Well, well, well.\255\003I knew you'd come back.
My customers always do.\255\003^EVENTUALLY.
Hey, welcome back!
Could you show me that coffin again?\255\009\026\000
How much is that coffin?\255\009\026\000
I'm looking for a good used coffin.
Actually, I'd just like to browse.
Didn't you used to be a used-ship salesman?\255\009\023\000
Do you do funerals?
I'm not actually in the market for a coffin yet.
I need to get something embalmed.
I gotta go. See you later.\255\009\026\000
Amazing!\255\003When you first walked in here I said, `Now THERE'S a guy who needs a good used coffin!`
There happens to be an excellent deal right behind you.
Let's go take a look-see.
Now this here^
^is the Cadillac of Coffins.
Look at all that leg room!
There's room in there for Long John Silver himself!
Here--let me get in and show you.
Now this isn't just your average sixty-gallon coffin.\255\003This has the full seventy-five gallons you need to avoid unsightly bone readjustments.
Good solid construction on this baby.\255\003`It keeps out the worms\255\001While your body firms.`
I have to warn you, I've got five other dead guys coming to look at this today.
Have you decided to buy?
Could you get in and show me how big it is again?
Can I show you anything else?
Well, it's complicated^\255\003Pricing here at Stan's works on a sliding scale^\255\003^based on one's ability to pay^
^so as to make a decent funeral affordable to even our poorest customers.
That's very considerate of you.
So, how much dough do you have on you?
I have \255\004\049\001 pieces of eight.
Oooh, that hurts.\255\003They JUST raised the casket tax.\255\003Now that baby's going for \255\004\228\001 pieces of eight.
Actually, I'm one of those poor customers you were talking about.
I see.\255\003I think cremation might be more appropriate in this instance.
Of course we do funerals!\255\003And not just those somber, all-black, three-handkerchief affairs^
We do it in a rowdy Mardi Gras style, with music and dancing and pallbearer races^
I like to say we put the FUN in FUNerals.\255\003Heh heh.
Well, you came to the right place!\255\003`Your loved ones deserve\255\001Stan's special preserve.`
`You won't smell a whiff\255\001When we're done with your stiff.`
I never knew morticians were so clever.\255\009\025\000
Sorry^\255\003Health regulations prohibit me from allowing uncertified persons free access to used internment paraphernalia.
Aw, shucks.
It's never too early to make funeral arangements.\255\003Making plot reservations now insures you a space at our popular Scabb Island Internment Park\015^
^as well as entitling you to discounts on park rentals.
Rentals?
You know--for barbecues, parties--that sort of thing.
Well, yeah.\255\003But I decided to get into a business where unsatisfied customers are less likely to come back and complain.
Here, take this complimentary hankie.
Just my way of saying, `I care.`
Maybe sooner than you think.
Yes, a man can really rest in peace AND comfort with one of these.
Why should a man's coffin be any smaller than his bunk at sea?
I could spend a lot of time in a coffin like this.
Look at how freely I can wiggle my toes.
This thing's bigger than my kitchen!
You know, a person's coffin should reflect their station in life.
If you're thinking about one of those cheaper models, first ask yourself,\255\003`Isn't my loved one worth the best?`
This is truly the casket of captains.
When you've spent your life on something as big as the ocean,\255\003how can you spend your death in anything smaller?
There's enough room in here for a pirate AND his parrot.
Feel free to join me. There's room for both of us!
I could just stay in here all day.
If you should ever need to turn in your grave^\255\003^you could in here with comfort and ease.
Even though it is used, you'll notice it still has that new coffin smell.
I don't mean to scare you, but anything smaller than this and we might have to cut off your loved one's feet.
Take it from me, I'm as claustrophobic as they come, and I love it in here.
This baby's so nice, it should be illegal--\255\003It makes people want to die.
I've got one of these in the back for when I go.
Just take a look at this convenient beverage holder.
We also stock an excellent worm repellent that I might just throw in for free.
You gotta admit, it's cozy.\255\003Do I not look cozy in here?
It's already nailed shut.
But I don't have a hammer.
But I don't have any nails.
But it's open.
It's just as roomy closed.\255\003Here, let me show you^
See?
I hear you knocking up there.\255\003That's solid oak you're hearing!
Yes it sure is nice in here.
Hey! I think the lid's stuck!
Uh^ Excuse me, friend^\255\003Could you see if the clasp is closed on this thing?\255\003I seem to be stuck^
Hello?
Is there anybody out there?
Yoo-hoo?
Help!
I can't get out of here!
OK, a joke's a joke, now GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Open this coffin right now!
Anybody?
I really am claustrophobic.
Someone's going to pay for this.
I'd bust out of here, but the dang thing's built too well.
Well, if I had to be stuck in a coffin, at least it's the deluxe model.
It really is pretty roomy in here.
Maybe I'll take a nap.
I hope this thing's not airtight.
I'm not dead!
I'm losing valuable business.
Let me out! I need to go to the bathroom.
Hey, kid. Don't be touching that.
Sure!
Okeydokey!
Alrighty^
Yessiree!
Heck, why not?
No problemo!
What an excellent idea!
I was just going to suggest that myself.
Of course!
Hey, anything you say!
Dang. Looks like it's empty.
Of course it is!\255\003I just went to the bank!\255\003Now get me out of here!
Nothing inside.
kiosk
path
land
gate
guard
Is there something I can help you with?
I'm here for the Governor's party.
You mentioned a party before^\255\009\023\000
You mentioned a party before^\255\009\023\000
Nice costume. Almost scared me to death.
What are you guarding here?
Elaine Marley? From M\136l\130e Island?
Party? What party?\255\009\006\000
Elaine Marley? From M\136l\130e Island?
Elaine Marley? From M\136l\130e Island?
Gotta go. Keep up the good work.\255\009\026\000
Elaine Marley, of course.
Yup. The same heroic Elaine Marley who killed the Ghost Pirate LeChuck.
But, I killed LeChuck!\255\009\027\000
Why would Governor Marley lie?
Jealousy?\255\009\006\000
Revenge?\255\009\006\000
Fame and fortune?\255\009\006\000
For attention?\255\009\006\000
In your dreams.
I'm guarding Governor Marley's mansion.
Thanks.
Where's your costume for the Governor's party?
Governor Marley is having a huge Mardi Gras party.
Invitation only^ costumes required^ that sort of thing.
You mean Governor Marley's Mardi Gras fish fry?
It's invitation only and costumes are required.
Did you bring a costume and invitation?
Did you bring a costume?
Did you bring an invitation?
I've got my invitation right here.
I don't have an invitation.
I have my costume right here.
This is my costume.\255\009\027\000
Uh, I didn't want to go anyway.
Suit yourself.
Well, what do you know?\255\003You do have an invitation.
Do you have a costume?
Then you can't go past me.
Nobody would willingly wear such a dopey costume.
Better put it on.
Well, if you insist.\255\003But you'll have to try to restrain yourself.
No, no! Not here!
Go in the bushes or something.
Guybrush
Geeze^
Oh, that is nice.
And the boots are a nice touch.
Guybrush
Do you have an invitation?
OK, I guess you can go through.
Have fun.
THE GHOST PIRATE LECHUCK!!!!
Get a grip.\255\003Don't you know a Mardi Gras costume when you see one?
Guybrush
Guybrush
I'd rather not wear this costume in public.
path
woods
mansion
Maybe while I'm in the woods I'll ditch this stupid costume.
I should probably stay in costume, for now.
Well, shoot.
Leave me alone.\255\003I'm busy.
I'd better not.\255\003He's got a rake.
gardener
side of house
grounds
side of house
side of house
Aw, what a cute little thing.
Don't you patronize me.\255\003I'm a scholar.
Now why would I want to pick on such a cute little puppy?
I'm fetching enough already in this dress.
That doesn't seem to smell interesting to him.
dog
grounds
door
map piece
Hey!
It looks like it's about to blow away.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Whoops. Too late.
What the^
Hey^
Dang wind.
Come back here!
Slippery little devil^
Hold still.
OK, that does it.
I think I've had enough fun with this poor little dog already.
You'd better not touch that dog!
I'm warning you--he bites!
I'd like to, but this dress just doesn't have the pockets for it.
I'd like to, but this dress just doesn't have the pockets for it.
I'm going to ditch this thing once and for all.
Guybrush
Guybrush
OK, dog.
You're coming with me.
I thought I told you to beat it!
You keep away from that dog!
I don't think he's interested.
Ha!\255\003Bark as loud as you want!
Filbert's out raking the back forty.
There you go again!
Cut that out!
Aren't you listening to me?
I'm about to stick that thing in your ear!
What's the matter, boy?\255\003Smell something?
Uh^ nice doggie^
What's the matter there, Guybrush?
Nothing a big hug wouldn't cure.
LeChuck's alive and I'm on the lam!
This crazy mutt is trying to kill me!
How did you know my name?
I was talking to the dog.
Who are you?
She named her DOG Guybrush?
Mr. Threepwood. Take me to the Governor right away.
I'm Governor Marley's ex-boyfriend. She's expecting me.
I'm selling these fine pink dresses.
I'm here for the party. Want to see my invitation?
Yeah, I don't get it either.\255\003It's not much of name if you ask me.
She says it's cause he's dumb and helpless and keeps getting in the way.
But he sure can sniff out the Governor's possessions.
Maybe you should empty your pockets.
I was just about to suggest the very same thing.
But first, why don't you empty your pockets?
Sure, sure, loverboy.\255\003I'll just take you right up to see her.
No thanks. It's not on my color wheel.
But let's just see what you have in your pockets.
That's a good idea.
While you're at it, why don't you show me everything you have in your pockets?
Try and catch me, old man!
Oh, look out for that rake.
side of house
side of house
Don't even THINK about going in there!
door
It's a beat-up metal trash can.
No way.\255\003It probably smells.
It IS closed.
garbage can
It says, `Dear Booty Island Waste Disposal Service:\255\003Shhhh!\255\003Please don't bang garbage cans.\255\003Governor sleeping upstairs.`
sign
They're empty.
No thanks. They reek of fish.
boxes
It's empty.
No thanks. It reeks of fish.
box
I think I've been enough of a pest.
CRASH!
CRASH!
CRASH!
CRASH!
I said cut that out!
Hey! What's all the racket?
You again?!
Oh, there you are.\255\003Anyway, like I was saying^
There you go again!
Cut that out!
Aren't you listening to me?
I'm about to stick that thing in your ear!
Don't mess with the Governor's cans!
Don't be blowing nothing around here!
Who do you think you are?
You better just get out of here!
No good punk.
If it's not raccoons, it's teenage vandals!
You call that music or something?
You heard me. Get lost.
Transient hooligan.
Why I oughtta^
You've got some nerve.
I don't have time for this.
Go away boy. You bother me.
Beat it!
I'm going to use this meat cleaver in a second.
This neighborhood has really gone downhill.
Get a job!
Why don't you go down to the dump if you like garbage cans so much?
Why don't you go join a parade if you like blowing horns so much?
SCRAM!
Don't you have anything better to do?
Kids today!
Does your mother know where you are?
I'm sick of looking at you already.
Bothering innocent people's trash^
Bothering innocent people with blaring music^
Why don't you shove off?
What's the matter? No parlay Englais?
I said scram!
Vammoose!
Try sticking your head in a cannon if you like loud noises.
Don't let me catch you hanging around the Governor's party, either.
Take a hike!
OK, that's it. I'm calling the cops!
Make yourself scarce.
You'd better go before I lose my temper.
I'll beat you like an egg!
This is a respectable place, hear me?
We don't take to your kind here.
Buzz off!
Shoo!
Yeah, I'm talking to you!
Amscray!
I think I hear your mother calling.
Go get a haircut!
I'm warning you--I can debone a chicken in fifteen seconds with my bare hands.
OK, that's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy.
This is your last chance--I'm running out of spit.
Hey! Come back here! I'm not done yet!
Hmpf!
Punk.
Let this be a lesson to you.
You're lucky I have to get back to my fish!
And, well^\255\003^just don't you forget it!
The nerve^
They seem to be enjoying the party.
I'm not dressed for wrestling.
Can I just squeeze by?
Get a room.
Can I see both of your ID's, please?
Haven't you ever heard of mono?
Step aside, please.
OK, party's over. Time to go home.
party guests
door
I can't get by these people on the stairs.
upstairs
It looks like part of the map to Big Whoop!
It's not mine to use.
map
Looks like I'm too late for the hors d'oeuvres.
Too late--they're already picked clean.
bones
Nice costume.
party guest
Nice costume.
party guest
Nice costume.
party guest
Nice costume.
party guest
Nice costume.
party guest
Nice costume.
party guest
Nice costume.
party guest
Nice costume.
party guest
I'm gonna sweat off twenty pounds in this stupid costume!
No kidding.\255\003I forgot to put airholes in mine.
Why do we put up with this stuff?
I dunno.
I guess to prove we're fun-loving guys?
You check out the spitting contest?
Yeah. Got second place.
Not bad!
Yeah, well, you know.\255\003The wind was with me.
Nice mask.
Thanks.
More subtle than most.
Yes, thanks.
Not your usual, larger-than-life,\255\003Mardi Gras head.
Nope.
Probably saved a lot on materials, huh?
I'm sure I don't know.
Not that paper mache is very expensive^
Do you mean `Papier-M\131ch\130?`
Yeah, whatever.
No, I don't imagine that it's very expensive at all.
Still, you must have saved a bundle.
I never scrimp when it comes to the holidays.
Well, I didn't mean you were cheap^
Parties and balls are my life.
I just meant^
Making gay is the only purpose I can find in my wretched, well-to-do life.
I'm sure it must be hard--
But you say my costume looks cheap.
No, no. It looks great!
That's not what you said before.
I just said it looked^ subtle.
Can't we just drop the subject?
Yeah. OK. Fine.
To Elaine Marley!
To Elaine!
To this great party!
To the party!
To the salmon p\131te!
P\131te!
To Mardi Gras!
Mardi Gras!
To all the women I've loved before!
OK!
And let's have one for the Jolly Roger!
Yeah! For Roger!
To the Sea!
The Sea!
To the Land!
The Land!
To the Manatee!
Ah, yes.
To Santa Claus!
Santa!
To the love of a good parrot!
Aye! A pirate's best friend!
To that captain we strung up three years ago!
Swab this! That's what I say to him!
To penicillin!
To penicillin!
To Blackbeard himself!
Now there's a man!
Here's to good friends!
Tonight IS kind of special^
One for the road!
One for the road!
For old time's sake!
For old times!
To less talk, more rock!
Amen!
To fresh-cut grass!
Of course!
To the life of a pirate!
What a life!
To little puppies!
Aw, that's cute.
To moderate, social drinking!
Moderation in all things, yes.
So where are all the chicks?
Yeah. I thought there'd be some here.
Then again^\255\003^in these costumes, who can tell?
That's true.\255\003There might be some babes here.
But what can we do about it?
Well^ we just ask.
Ask?\255\003What are you, nuts?
Yeah. I guess you're right.
Sigh.
Mardi Gras sure is tough on us swingers.
I'll drink to that.
Some party, eh?
Yep.
Try the fish?
Yeah. Almost choked on a bone.
Hear the one about the Polar Bear with the hairlip?
Yeah. Last week.
Yeah, well. You know.
Yeah.
How's work?
Same old, same old.
Like the music?
It's alright.
Where'd you get the costume?
Ah, I wore it last year.
Can I get you a refill?
Nyah. I'm fine.
Pretty good turn out.
Yep.
Heard any new jokes?
Not in months.
Gotta get the recipe for that fish.
Oh, yeah.
(Cheap sexual innuendo.)
(Mindless retort.)
Blah BLAH blah^
BLAH blah blah^
Nice costume.
Some party, eh?
Hi. My name's Guybrush.\255\009\023\000
Don't I know you from somewhere?\255\009\025\000
Where'd you get that drink?\255\009\007\000
So how do you know Elaine?
Anyone seen the Governor?
Tried the fish?
This is some house, wouldn't you say?
So, when do we bob for apples?\255\009\006\000
Say, did you make that costume yourself?\255\009\007\000
Hey! Let's form a bunny hop line!
Well, it's been nice talking to you.\255\003Gotta go now.\255\009\026\000
Is there a bathroom in here?
What did you say your name was?\255\009\023\000
I just heard the funniest story^
This is fun.\255\003We should all do this more often, don't you think?
So are you wearing anything under there?\255\009\024\000
Man, she has shoulder pads in everything.
I think I'm wearing enough women's clothes right now.
I'm warm enough in the one I have on.
coat
Nothing back here.
I'd like to, but I'd better stay in costume.
I'm pretty comfortable in what I have on.
changing screen
Hey, it's Zonker Harris in a dress!
Hey, it's Zonker Harris!
mirror
You know, I heard some guys talking about Marley's bust^\255\003^this must be it.
I don't want to break anything.\255\003Elaine would kill me.
bust
door
I can see the map fluttering around in the front yard.
I can see Governor Marley's front yard.
window
It's just a porcelain replica of a chest.\255\003I hate that knick-knacky junk.
It's impolite to stare at a woman's chest.
The last time I stole something from Governor Marley I almost ended up as fish food.
chest
Comfy.
I'd better not muss up Elaine's sheets.
divan
`Central Caribbean School for Governors^\255\003^Crew '67`
Well, maybe she won't miss this old thing.
oar
Governor, I caught one of your party guests making off with your grandfather's map.
Another would-be treasure hunter, eh?\255\003Bring him in.
In here, Guybrush!
Guybrush!
Guybrush Threepwood?!?
The one and only, sugarbear!
Of all the parties in all the houses on all the islands in the Caribbean^\255\003^he had to crash mine!
It's destiny, honeycakes!
Don't talk to me.
Snugglepuss!
Get lost.
Punkydoodle!
I'm warning you^
Pooper-dooper!
Maybe I should go rake the back forty.
Look at us, together again.
Boy. We haven't been like this since^\255\003^well^
Since I quit my job and moved away without leaving a forwarding address?
Was that what happened? Gee, I thought^
Guybrush! Can't you take a hint?
We were a mistake!
I thought we had an agreement.
Maybe I wasn't clear enough the last time^
Boy, you really can't take a hint.
Aren't you supposed to be history?
Don't you ever give up?
Why can't you just leave me alone?
I thought I smelled something.
Guybrush's score: \255\004\055\001 out of 50.
Oh, Guybrush^
I know I shouldn't have anything to do with you^
^but there's something about your weakness and ineptitude that I find infectious.
Does that mean you're going to let me have the map?
The map!\255\003Is that what this is all about?
I should have known better!
If the map's all you care about^
^you'd better go out and get it.
That's it!\255\003I've had enough.
Get your mangy hide outta my house.
OK, that's enough!
Get out of here!
That's the last straw!
Beat it or be sorry.
I can't take it anymore!
Hit the road!
You have three seconds to leave my room.
One^\255\003Two^\255\003Three^
I've decided to let you come back to me.
I'm waiting for your apology.
Is it my imagination, or have you gained weight?
I came all this way to see you--at least get me a beer.
Great to see you again. Is there any food in this dump?
Gosh you're cute when you're pretending to be mad.
Your lonely nights are over, baby. I have returned.
How's your sister? The REALLY good-looking one?
You know, I kinda liked your old house better.
So tell me^ You and the gardener? Eh?
Still not afraid to use a lot of perfume, I see.
What I really could use now is a grade-A footrub.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?
Still ignoring fashion, eh? Good for you.
I got a feeling someone needs a big, sloppy kiss.
So, who's the father?
Why don't you just give me that map like a good girl?
Better give me that map. Treasure huntin's men's work.
Elaine, take me back. I can't live without you.
Won't you at least give me a second chance?
I realize now what a fool I've been.
My life's been meaningless without you.
If I can't be with you, I don't want to live.
Life without you is an endless nightmare.
You were right. I was a buffoon. And a weenie.
Have pity on my poor, broken soul.
Can't you see how my heart has suffered?
Elaine, save me from this whirlpool of misery.
I'd jump out that window to prove my love.
May lightning strike me if I bear false intentions!
I'll win you back, if it's the last thing I do!
My soul is sick, Elaine, and love is the only cure.
If you won't take me back, just kill me now.
Please baby please baby please baby please baby please.
Maybe we should talk about this.
Don't you like my new beard?\255\009\024\000
Those other women meant nothing to me.
LeChuck's alive, and I need your help to fight him.
I'm not sure, but don't you owe me some money?\255\009\025\000
Come on. Let me buy you a grog.
I stopped doing that knuckle-cracking thing.
I should warn you--I cancelled the boat insurance.
Do you have my red sweater? I can't find it anywhere.
I like what you've done with your hair.
Is that a new blouse?
Real scorcher outside, eh?
Have you been forwarding all my mail?
That's some party downstairs^\255\009\026\000
You're the Governor of my heart, baby.
Fine. Be that way. There are other fish in the sea.
Oh really?
I guess that's supposed to make up for everything?
Nice try, but I think you're too late.
Decide to act civilized for a change, eh?
Oh, so now you're a good guy?
You should have thought of that sooner.
Do you really think you can get on my good side now?
So much for a pleasant attitude.
And here I thought you were becoming a decent guy.
Ooooh, it's going to be that way, is it?
There goes any hope for a pleasant conversation.
This is getting ugly.
I should have known you weren't sincere.
You're getting warmer^
Well, that's not the MOST stupid thing you've ever said.
That's a LITTLE better^
Hmmm^ keep going.
Close. You're getting close.
Pathetic.
Do you really expect me to fall for that?
Oh, please.
Is that supposed to make me swoon?
Yeah, right.
Give me a break, will ya?
Uh-huh. Sure.
What book did you steal that out of?
You've been watching too much daytime television.
Oh, gag me.
That may work on other women, but not me.
Really, I'm touched\255\003^NOT!
That's sweet.\255\003Now scram.
What a line!
I can't believe it--you're even more of a weenie than before.
You're going to have to try a little harder than that.
I'm warning you--you're getting on my nerves.
OK, you're really pushing it now, buddy.
You're this close to getting a sock in the jaw.
One more crack like that and you'll be bouncing down those stairs.
You're on the verge of hospitalization, Guy.
I see you're charming as ever.
Now that wasn't very pleasant.
Maybe you'd better leave.
I can't believe I actually thought I missed you.
This is beneath even you, Guybrush.
You've got a lot of nerve, coming in here and saying that.
I oughtta just punch you out.
One thing's for sure--you haven't gotten any better at talking to women.
I hope that was a joke.
Same old Guybrush.
Can't you take a hint?
Sorry, Threep. I don't play those games anymore.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, right.
You know, I do have work to do^
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Give me a break.
Spare me.
Go tell it to your mamma.
Give it up, Brush.
Yeah, but even fish have standards.
Good riddance.
Finally!
Well, thanks for stopping by and ruining my day.
Don't bother my guests on the way out.
Wish I could say it's been nice.
You'll be back^\255\003^unfortunately.
Get lost.
I was just about to say the same thing.
I was wondering when you'd catch a clue.
You're going?\255\003But I was just getting used to the smell.
She's gone.\255\003I guess I really made her mad this time.
It sure is big.
It's slimy and squishy.
fish
It's a whole mess of fish!
I don't think I need any more.
fish
door
Hey! Kitchen staff only!
I said kitchen staff only!
Sorry.
path
cliff side
Guybrush
Dang.
I don't want to do any more fishing.
I don't want to do any more fishing.
I don't think that would be very sporting.
I don't think that would be very sporting.
Boy, it's a long way down there.
What a nice map.
I don't think that will work.
I can't reach it.
map
top of cliff
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
No thanks.\255\003Only shiny pages left in the catalog.
How rustic.
outhouse
path
path
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
It's too high for me to reach.
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
It's too high for me to reach.
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
It's too high for me to reach.
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
It's too high for me to reach.
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
Big woodpeckers.
Looks like a plank stuck in a hole in a tree.
It's already in use.
For what?
It's too high for me to reach.
hole@@@@@@@@@@@
One end looks carved so it will fit into holes.
I can't reach that high.
I don't think it will work with that.
I don't think it will work with that.
plank
One end looks carved so it will fit into holes.
I can't reach that high.
I don't think it will work with that.
I don't think it will work with that.
plank
One end looks carved so it will fit into holes.
I can't reach that high.
I don't think it will work with that.
I don't think it will work with that.
plank
One end looks carved so it will fit into holes.
I can't reach that high.
I don't think it will work with that.
I don't think it will work with that.
plank
One end looks carved so it will fit into holes.
I can't reach that high.
I don't think it will work with that.
I don't think it will work with that.
plank
Gee, guess it was an antique.
It's not too useful in its present form.
broken oar
`Central Caribbean School for Governors^\255\003^Crew '67`
I can't reach that high.
I don't think that needs a paddling.
I don't think that needs a paddling.
oar
It looks better, stronger, faster.
I can't reach that high.
I don't think that needs a paddling.
I don't think that needs a paddling.
reinforced oar
But I'm standing on it.
Error: Tell Tim to Add More Planks!
hole
oar
reinforced oar
plank
oar
reinforced oar
plank
hole
Hmmm^ I think I get the idea.
hole
Ouch!\255\003That really hurts!
Wait a minute^\255\003Something very strange is going on here^\255\009\025\000
Do not attempt to adjust your set!
Dad!\255\003Mom!
What are you two doing here?
We came looking for you.
Where have you been?
You came looking for me?\255\003But I thought you abandoned me!
Why would we do that?\255\003We are such loving parents.
Yes, we are.
So what do you two want?\255\009\006\000
We have some information for you, son.
Really?\255\003Great!\255\003What is it?
Well, we're going to give it to you in the form of a song.
Oh. OK^
Guybrush
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
\255\004\001\064
\255\004\003\064
length = \255\004\003\064
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
head
arm
leg
hip
rib
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
The \255\007\047\000 bone's connected to the^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
^\255\007\048\000 bone^
Guybrush
LeChuck
Yikes!!!
Guybrush
What is it? What's wrong?
Why did you leave me again?
BOOO!
HAR HAR HAR HAR!
Guybrush
LeChuck!\255\003But I killed you!
You didn't kill me, you little moron!
I was already a ghost when you met me!
You just destroyed my spiritual essence^\255\003A favor that I will now return!
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!
Guybrush
Wow! What a dream!
Wow^\255\003They're good.
I've gotta write this down!
^\255\007\047\000 bone connected to the \255\007\048\000 bone^
HRLPAHRLPAHRL.
PAHLPAHRLAHRP.
LHPRAHLPAHRPA.
AHRLPAHRPLHPR.
HRPAHRLPAHRPL.
RLPHRLAHRLPAH.
LPARLPHRLAHRP.
RAHLPARLPHRLA.
ground
door
There's nothing interesting in there.
It's already open.
window
This isn't Monkey Island 1.
telescope
door
It's hundreds and hundreds of maps!
I don't care about the rest.
I don't want them all, and I can't tell which one is Governor Marley's!
There are hundreds of them!\255\003Even if one were a piece of the map to Big Whoop, I would never be able to find it!
pile
That's the bird that stole my map!
No way. He looks like he bites.
bird
It's not mine to use.
map piece
It's lovely Booty Island.
window
It's crazy^
^but it just might work.
Hello?\255\003Little Guybrush?
Good boy!
Run along home now.
Now that's a good dog.
That doesn't seem to smell interesting to him.
It's too heavy to swim with.
Stupid Bug!
It's so heavy that I won't be able to swim to the surface if I pick it up.
I wouldn't want to do anything that would devalue it.
monkey head
It's too heavy to swim with.
It looks really heavy.
What a valuable antique.
I wouldn't want to do anything that would devalue it.
monkey head
Looks like the anchor rope leading back to Kate's ship.
I can just swim to the surface.\255\003I don't need to hitch a ride on the anchor.
rope
Kate's ship sure looks small from way down here.
This monkey head is too heavy to carry to the surface.\255\003Considering this game has no drop verb, I'm doomed.
the surface
Looks like Kate's anchor.
I can just swim to the surface.\255\003I don't need to hitch a ride on the anchor.
That's too heavy to pick up.
anchor
Walk to
Swim to
Guybrush
Guybrush
Guybrush
Walk to
Akkk!!!\255\003I'm drowning!
Gotta drop this thing!
puffer
puffup
Deep in the Caribbean, hidden by an endless storm, lies LeChuck's fortress^\255\002
Largo
So^\255\003^when are we going to resurrect the old bloated fool?
LeChuck
Oops^
I'll ignore that comment just this one time, Largo^\255\003^only because they tell me you've found Guybrush Threekwood.
It's 'Threepwood'^and I've found him on Scabb Island.
Very Good.\255\003No one gets the upper hand on LeChuck without getting what he deserves.\255\003I want Guybrush brought to me, and I want him brought alive.\255\003I am entrusting this to you.\255\003Do not fail me.
Never, your voodoo lordship.
Aye^\255\003^Guybrush Threepwood is finished.\255\003I need you to start building me a very special doll.
With pleasure.
Largo
LeChuck
Meanwhile, back at the fortress^\255\002
Aye^\255\003Largo^\255\003I hear that Guybrush is looking for the lost treasure of Big Whoop.\255\003This be true?
Well^ yes sir, but^\255\003What good can a chest full of money do him?
It is not the treasure that is important.\255\009\007\000\255\003It is what is buried beneath the treasure that concerns me.\255\003He must not find the treasure of Big Whoop.\255\003See to it.\255\009\006\000
Yes sir.
Largo
LeChuck
Deep inside LeChuck's fortress^\255\002
Ah^\255\003LeChuck sir^\255\003I regret to report that Guybrush has found one of the map pieces to Big Whoop.
You will regret a lot more if he finds another.\255\009\006\000\255\003Stop him at any cost^\255\003But remember^\255\003I want him alive.\255\009\006\000
Yes sir.
Creep.
Largo
LeChuck
Once again^\255\002
Ah^
LeChuck sir^\255\003I just wanted to report that we have finished building the new torture chamber you requested.
Very good.
Do you have anything else to report?\255\009\007\000
Ah^
No^
Well^
There is one other small little thing.
I assume this has to do with Guybrush's capture?
Well^\255\003Sort of^
You've allowed him to find the second map piece, haven't you!!\255\009\006\000
YOU FOOL!
You are to ready your ship and sail after him yerself!\255\009\006\000
FIND HIM OR DIE!
Largo
LeChuck
Deep within LeChuck's fortress bla bla bla bla bla^\255\002
Largo!
Er^
You called for me?
Is it true that Guybrush Threepwood has found the third piece of the map to Big Whoop?\255\009\006\000
Ah^\255\003Yes sir^\255\003I was about^
Why did you not come and tell me yerself?
Well^\255\003I was trying to confirm that he really^
Largo^
You have been my trusted henchman for many years^
But I won't hesitate to drag your entrails from behind my ship^\255\009\006\000
^if you do not bring me Guybrush before he finds that treasure!
Largo
LeChuck
Yawn\255\002
LeChuck, sir^
^I've got good news and I've got bad news.
The bad news is that Guybrush has found the last piece of the map.
Ah^\255\003The good news is that I've got a plan that can't fail.
Ah^\255\003You see^\255\003He must take the map to a cartographer to have it deciphered.\255\003I'll head him off before he gets there.
If your plan fails^\255\009\006\000
It will not, your voodoo lordship.
Hours later^
passage
It's empty.
It's full of voodoo crap.
It's the crate I came here in.
I'm not hauling LeChuck's stuff anywhere.\255\003Especially the way he tips.
I'm not getting back in there!
shipping crate
more voodoo crap
tunnel
tunnel
back tunnel
back tunnel
big sign
wooden sign
plain old sign
broken sign
sign-o-splinters
sign\015
nailed up sign
yet, another sign
It's too heavy.
It's some kind of strange skeleton statue.
ugly bone thing
It's too heavy.
It's some kind of strange skeleton statue.
ugly bone thing
It's too heavy.
It's some kind of strange skeleton statue.
ugly bone thing
It's too heavy.
It's some kind of strange skeleton statue.
ugly bone thing
It's too heavy.
It's some kind of strange skeleton statue.
ugly bone thing
It's too heavy.
It's some kind of strange skeleton statue.
ugly bone thing
It's too heavy.
It's some kind of strange skeleton statue.
ugly bone thing
It's too heavy.
It's some kind of strange skeleton statue.
ugly bone thing
archway
archway
It's a little bitty door.
doggie door
exit to passage
There is no way, not even in an adventure game that I'd be able to get all those locks open.
massive locks
That is one huge door
huge door
I can't find the little doggie door.
It's already closed.
massive door
voodoo key to jail
LeChuck's voodoo throne
LeChuck
Guybrush Threepwood^
You have finally been caught.
I have searched every island^
Sailed every sea^
And now you are mine.
What do you have to say for yourself?
It would've been easier if you'd left directions.
Gee, nice going.
Stop spitting in my face!
If I could just reach my pirate utility belt^
(gulp)
Largo!
Largo
Yes sir, LeChuck, sir?
Take Guybrush down to the torture chamber and get the machine set up.
Yes sir.
He looks like he's in good health.\255\003I'm sure he'll be able to tell me where the island is.
cartographer behind bars
Poor Wally.
It's Wally!!!
It's locked up tight.\255\003I'd surely need a key.
jail cell
Pretty big.
keyhole
Yikes!
passage
Hey Guybrush! I'm over here!
Yo Ho! I'm in the jail Guybrush
Hey Guybrush! It's me, Wally! The cartographer!
Thank God you've come to rescue me!
Find the key yet?
Oh yeah, the key.
Wally!
Mr. Brush?\255\003Is that you?
I thought you'd never come back.
Well?
Are you alright?
How's it hangin'?
Have you lost weight? You look good.
Just stopped by to say hi. Well, see ya.
It was horrible!
They abducted me in my office^\255\003^brought me here in a duffel bag^\255\003^interrogated me^
Then they^
^they^
What? What?
They took away my monocle for awhile.
I see.
You think this is funny?
Yes I have. Thanks for noticing.
What?\255\003You can't leave me in here!
The map, Wally! What about the map?
I have something to confess about your monocle.
OK, stand back. I'm going to bust down the door.
Could you please stop that annoying swinging?
I'm going to go get that key!
I'm going to go have a look around. Sit tight.
I'm going to go get that key!
I'm going to go have a look around. Sit tight.
Oh, LeChuck's got it, but who cares?
Who cares?!?
Yeah, I memorized the whole thing before he took it.\255\003It's on an island called Dinky, not too far from here.
After you bust me out of here, we could steal a boat and go there!
Sorry.
Dread stole it.
I knew it!\255\003He always envied my intellectual look.
What, are you nuts?\255\003Go get the key.
He probably keeps it in his office down the hall.
Okeydokey.
Guybrush
I can't tell what this stuff is.
It's too heavy to pick up.
stuff
These are crates, but I don't know what's in them.
They're too heavy to pick up.
I can't find the lid in the dark.
crates
I can't tell what this stuff is.
It's too heavy to pick up.
stuff
These are crates, but I don't know what's in them.
They're too heavy to pick up.
I can't find the lid in the dark.
crates
Guybrush
Ha!\255\003I'll bet LeChuck is really cheesed-off now!
Yeah.\255\003He should have let me go to the bathroom when I asked!
Yep.
Hey, Wally?
Yeah?
Where are we?
Good question.
I can't see anything in here.
It's too dark to see what I'm doing.
Holy Skunk Sweat!!!
Ouch!
Guybrush
punching bag
bellows
It's burning through the rope at an alarming rate^
candle
balloon
wheel-o-death
pan
shield
shield
Much more of this and he'll be my height.
Wally
Walk to
Give
Open
Close
Pick up
Look at
Talk to
Use
Push
Pull
Guybrush
Ping!
Ping!
Ping!
I can't really pull that out right now^
I can't do that from my current position.
I can't reach him from here.
I can't reach the \255\006\001\064 from here.
Spit
Spit
Gob
Emit
Loogie
Squirt
Gleek
Looch
Hawk
Spurt
I can't do that from my present position.
LeChuck
Arggg^\255\003You be in a heap of trouble Guybrush Threepwood.\255\003Now that you are mine, you will pay for what you did to me.
Hey^\255\003What's a little root beer between friends^
Silence!\255\003There is only one thing more painful^\255\003^than being resurrected from the dead and^\255\003^crammed into a rotting body.
Do you know what that is?
Hmmm^
It is what is about to happen to you!
Can't we talk this thing out?
You see the candle over there?
When it burns through that rope^
^the bag will fall on the bellows.
When it is compressed, it will shoot a single lead bullet^
^which will ricochet off that pan^
^then off the shield behind me^
bounce off that other shield^
^finally striking the green balloon.
When it pops, it will cause that lever to fall^
^releasing that ratchet on the chain wheel^
^and sending you down into the pit of acid.
Geee^I^
Do you know what happens next?
Ummmm^well^
I will then take your bones^\255\003^still alive and in great pain^\255\003^and make them into a chair.\255\003I will call it my screaming chair.
Every morning I will sit in it and listen to you scream.
Any questions?
Yeah. Can I go to the bathroom?
Ha ha ha!\255\003This will be even more torturous than I had hoped!
Any other questions?
What does the candle do?
What happens when the bag falls on the bellows?
How's the lead bullet going to get to the balloon?
\255\007\033\000
\255\007\034\000
The candle burns the rope, releasing the bag of sand.
The bellows will shoot a lead bullet into that pan.
It will ricochet off a bunch of stuff.
\255\007\036\000
\255\007\037\000
I am growing tired of your stupid questions.
Prepare to die.
He didn't say what he was going to do to me?
An ottoman comes to mind.
Where do babies come from?
In your case, the orphanage.
Isn't it dangerous to leave a pit of acid uncovered?
Safety is not my concern in this situation.
Gee, I had a million questions a second ago^
Think fast, your time is almost up.
Who won the world series in '56?
Chicago.
Have you ever tried conditioner on that beard?
No.
Where's the bathroom?
Up the stairs and to the left, but you won't need it in a few minutes.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a^
5 cords.
If this is 4 and this is 2, what's this?
One.
What is the secret of Monkey Island?
All will be revealed in a few moments.
Why do adventure games cost so much?
Scanned vga art is very expensive.
Why didn't you just shoot me when I came in?
Because we had an extra disk.
Well?\255\003Can I open my eyes now?
Just a second!
Hey!\255\003Where are the lights?
Shhhh!
LeChuck
Arggggg!\255\003What be going on in here?\255\003LARGO!\255\003Relight the candle!
Largo
GUYBRUSH HAS ESCAPED!\255\003Find them!
Actor detected
\255\005\108\000 at \255\006\109\000
\255\005\108\000 at
\255\004\018\002
\255\004\019\002
\255\004\018\002
\255\004\019\002
\255\004\000\064
\255\004\001\064
section \255\004\023\002
If I spit that way, I might hit myself^
Hey!\255\003Watch it with the spit!
My mouth is all dried-up.
Walk to
Give
Open
Close
Pick up
Look at
Talk to
Use
Push
Pull
Hey!\255\003Watch it with the spit!
Oops^
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
So, Wally^
Yeah?
Ah, nothing.
I love you, man.
Could you please scratch my nose?
Any bright ideas?
I've got a bad feeling about this^
Let's keep our heads, shall we?
Yeah, right after you kiss my butt.
Well^\255\003^I have one, but it's kind of embarrassing^
Wally! This is a matter of life and death!
Oh^\255\003OK, I'll do it.\255\003But you have to close your eyes.
What?!
Close your eyes, unless you want to become undead furniture.
Well^\255\003^actually, I was hoping you'd think of something.
Oh.
Bad feeling!?!\255\003LeChuck's got you hanging in chains over a pit of acid and all you've got is a bad feeling?!?
Gosh. I feel even worse when you yell at me.
Just leave me alone.
Current x is \255\004\000\064.
Current y is \255\004\001\064.
Target x is \255\004\002\064.
Target y is \255\004\003\064.
Initial heading is \255\004\007\064.
Both dx and dy are negative. Heading is \255\004\007\064.
Dx is negative. Dy is positive. Heading is \255\004\007\064.
Dy is negative. Dx is positive. Heading is \255\004\007\064.
animation is \255\004\007\064
Horse hockey.
You honestly expect me to believe you were disintegrated in acid.
Sure, well I--
And yet here you are telling me all about it, looking very integrated indeed.
Yes, well, that is^\255\003^ah^\255\003^OK, so I embellished it a little for dramatic effect.\255\003Sue me.
You want to try telling me what REALLY happened?
OK.
As I was saying, we were hanging over the pit of acid.\255\003Death was so close I could smell his hairy armpits^
Verse 1:
head
arm
rib
hip
leg
head
arm
rib
hip
leg
The \255\007\047\000 bone is connected to the \255\007\048\000 bone.
Verse 2:
Verse 3:
Verse 4:
Guybrush
There wasn't anything down there.
The galleon is here!
Well, here we are.\255\003What now?
What did you do, order this ship out of the back of \254\008 a comic book?\255\009\006\000
This ship is so small, the rats leaving it are \254\008 humpbacked.
Whose bathtub did the ship come from?
I've seen bigger ships in bottles.
I've seen COFFEE CUPS bigger than this ship.
I'll dive in and look for the sunken galleon.
I'll dive in again.
Let's head back to Booty Island.\255\009\026\000
I'm sure it's near here, can we try another spot?
Very funny.
The guy who writes your lines is as funny as your tailor.
Did you think that up all by yourself?
Ha ha.
Can we get on with it?
OK.
Are you sure you can swim?
Hey, I can hold my breath for ten minutes!\255\009\027\000
Well^\255\003^I feel kind of sorry for you, so OK.\255\003Just point it out.
I got the monkey head!\255\003Let's head back to Booty Island.\255\009\026\000
Scabb Island
Booty Island
Phatt Island
\255\004\003\064N \255\004\002\064W
\255\006\000\064
Triangle
Square
Pentagon
Circle
Hexagon
Parallelogram
Octagon
Trapezoid
Rhombus
Dihedron
Ellipse
Dodecagon
Ovoid
Icosahedron
Cardioid
Torus
Lemniscate
Parallelepiped
Frustum
Helix
Oblate Spheroid
Convex Region
Elliptic Hyperboloid
Right Circular Conic Cross-Section
Eccentric Cylindrical Projection
We can't go there, mon.\254\001That's the Forbidden \255\007\041\000.
Guybrush
It's a jungle in there.
jungle
I don't think I ought to do that.
crowbar
There's a little dent in it where I hit my head.
rock
He's meditating.
Thank you my son, but I want for nothing.
I don't think he notices me.
Herman Toothrot
It doesn't seem interested.
parrot
It's empty.
It looks kind of old.
It's open.
It's closed.
barrel
It's a low-sodium cracker.
cracker
It's dry.
It's full of fresh, clear water.
It's full of seawater.
There's no more cracker mix.
This water is too salty to use with low-sodium cracker mix.
martini glass@@@@@@@@@@@
I'm not in the mood for a swim.
It's full already.
ocean
ocean
It's a moonshine still.
It's empty.
The still's empty.
I distilled this already.
still
It's empty, and there's a cap on it.
I'd better be careful with this.
It's not a twist-off.
It's about as open as it's going to get.
It's got a cap on it.
The cap fell off when I broke it.\255\003Maybe I could use that martini glass on the beach.
The cap fell off when I broke it.
bottle@@@@@@@
shortcut
'Welcome to Dinky Island'\255\003'home of the treasure of Big Whoop.'
sign
It's shaped like a giant slug.
tree
It's shaped like a giant pencil.
tree
It's shaped like a giant boomerang.
tree
I don't think I ought to do that.
crowbar 'n' rope
They say `anchovies` on the top.
Ick, no, they smell like anchovies.
They're already closed.
crates
Parrot
Parrot
Hi, Herman.
Herman Toothrot! What are you doing here?
Word up, Herman.
Oh, hi.
I've been waiting for you.
What do you mean you've been waiting for me?
What are you doing here?
I think I have an answer to the philosophical puzzle you \254\008 posed for me.
Could you teach me some philosophy?
I'm looking for a treasure. Have you seen any?
I think I have better things to do than talk to you.
Our meeting comes at this, the final moment of my existence so far.\255\003All else has been in anticipation of this event.
I think you will find that the concept of 'better things' is the frailest of illusions.
Do you always say things like that?
Do you mean to tell me that your WHOLE LIFE has been \254\008 merely a prelude to meeting me here today?
What happens now that I'm here?
You're weirding me out, I gotta go.
Nothing I say is ever the same, yet it is all said the same way.
Yours too.\255\003But see, already the moment passes.
Now our meeting is nothing more than another note in the grand overture to the next passage.
The moment has passed, and we face the future.
As you wish.\255\003You will return.
There are many treasures here, found and unfound.\255\003The beauty of the ocean, for example.
I was thinking more along the lines of monetary gain.
Actually, I'm looking for the treasure of Big Whoop.
Yes, that's quite true.
Or the treasure of the past, seen in the rings of trees or the half-remembered cacklings of a parrot^
Yes, I see.
^the treasure of the future, waiting in the seeds of mangoes and the eggs of the platypus^
Yeah, I get the point.
^dreams that bring us messages from afar which we are too simple to understand, and stars that do the same^
Alright already!
^and may not riches be found in the words of one who has explored the veiled inner worlds of the self?
Speaking of which, I am taking on students for a limited time.
Money is seldom a treasure, my friend.
Big Whoop?\255\003I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.
^and of course there's the treasure of patience^
I'm teaching philosophy here.
Right here, on the beach?
What sort of philosophy are you teaching?
How many students have you got?
That's nice, but I think I'd best be off now.
Sure beats a Tibetan mountaintop.\255\003I can go surfing when things are slow.
Neo-existentialist Cartesian Zen Taoism.\255\003It's all the rage at cocktail parties this year.
Well^\255\003^none, at the moment.\255\003But as soon as word gets out that a guru such as myself is teaching in a beautiful locale like this^\255\003^I'll have to beat them off with a stick.
Just let me know if you want to learn a little philosophy.
OK, here's a Zen koan for you.
A what?
A philosophical puzzle.\255\003If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it^\255\003^what color is the tree?
Alright, what is it?
Brown?
Blue?
Forest Green?
Red?
Cyan?
Lavender?
Magenta?
Puce?
Aquamarine?
Taupe?
Burnt Sienna?
Raw Umber?
Sepia?
Mulberry?
Periwinkle?
Orchid?
Turquoise?
Peach?
Plum?
Aubergine?
Teal?
Mustard?
Cabernet?
Slate?
Smoke?
Brick?
Coral?
Chartreuse?
Cherry?
Wisteria?
Raspberry?
Vanilla?
Asparagus?
Cranberry?
Sangria?
Eggshell?
Driftwood?
Sumac?
Alpaca?
Storm Grey?
Evening Haze?
Tarragon?
Sachet?
Venetian?
Juniper?
Drizzle?
Sweet Potato?
Bayou?
Manilla?
Macintosh Grey?
Mange?
Sharkbite?
Sashimi Green?
Ebony?
Ivory?
Menthol?
Sahara?
Salmon?
Oxblood?
Khaki?
Fuchsia?
Robin's Egg?
Ash?
Spice?
Copper?
Weathered Pewter?
Vermillion?
Metallic Burgundy?
Russet?
Cadmium White?
Cerulean?
Thalocyanide Green?
Ochre?
Deep Purple?
Beryl?
Hot Pink?
Oatmeal Heather?
All colors?
I give up.
Nope.
No.
Nah.
Not even close.
Not exactly.
Think about it some more, and come back when you have an answer.
Exactly!\255\003Now, what has this experience taught you?
That philosophy isn't worth my time.
I'm very impressed, it takes most people years to reach this point.\255\003You have learned all that you can from me.\255\003Go forth into the world with confidence.\255\003I won't even charge you a buck.
glass o' water
glass o' distilled water
That seems to have gotten most of the salt out of it.
Pretty Polly.
OK, let's go over it one more time.
Head due east from the pond to the dinosaur.
Head north from the dinosaur to the pile of rocks.
Head due east from the rocks to the X.
Head due east from the pond to the dinosaur.
Head north from the dinosaur to the pile of rocks.
Head due east from the rocks to the X.
There are some crackers in here.
Hey, there's a cracker in here.
There, I think that'll hold.
Polly wants a cracker.
SQUAWK
BRAAAK
Gee, Captain Marley, where should we bury the treasure?
OK, let's go over it again so no one forgets where we buried the treasure.
No, no, no, that's not right.
Oh, the heck with it.\255\003Let's make a map, and tear it into four pieces.
I want my granddaughter to marry a REAL man, a CAPTAIN.\255\003Not a washout like you.
Head due east from the pond to the dinosaur.
Head north from the dinosaur to the pile of rocks.
Head due east from the rocks to the X.
martini glass
It's about as broken as it's going to get.
broken bottle
Looks like I broke the bottle.
broken bottle
west
north
east
I might not be able to get out!
There's a layer of cement at the bottom.
It looks like there's some sort of cavern down there.
That's the second biggest X I've ever seen.
It's a good shovel, but I can't dig through cement with it.
Big X@@@@@@@@@@@@@
hole in the ground
Oh, you meant THIS treasure.
Why didn't you say so?
You could have come by the shortcut, like I do.
Shortcut?
Guybrush
I've hit cement!
Great Scott!
That came from the direction of Dinky Island!
That idiot must be messing with my grandfather's treasure!
I'd better get\254\001over there.
That must be the treasure of Big Whoop!
I might knock it off.
treasure chest
Looks as shaky as the one I'm standing on.
I'm not sure that's a good idea.
pillar
Shaky.
pillar
They look sturdy, apart from being all bent up.
I can't get up there.
twisted metal rods
^and you showed up about three days later.\255\003Will you help me now?
Anything to shut you up.\255\003That has to have been the longest story I've ever heard.
Oh, dear.
Guybrush
Well, well, well.\255\003Guybrush Threepwood.\255\003You do turn up in the strangest places.
Err^\255\003Hi, Elaine.\255\003Do you think you could help me out?
How did you get into this mess?
It's kind of a long story.
That's OK, I've got time.
*sigh*
Well, it all started on Scabb Island.\255\003Some of my admiring fans had pressured me into telling my LeChuck evaporating story once again^
It's definitely part of LeChuck's beard.
crispy beard bits
`900 pounds`
sticker
It looks very big and heavy.
I think it's a bit heavy for me.
It's nailed shut.
crate
lever
door
It's already open.
It's already closed.
The door's closed.
door
Ow!
Ouch!
Hey!
OW!!
Ow!
Ouch!
Hey!
OW!!
`Employees Only`
sign
door
The warning tape says closed for construction.
That would be unlawful.
barrier
The street is closed off.
street
Ooooh! A circus.\255\003I love a circus!
poster
This is hauntingly familiar^
door
They're full of dolls.
What, all of them?
boxes
They're full of root beer.
What, all of them?
boxes
They're full of root beer.
What, all of them?
boxes
It's already open.
Hey, there's only one balloon in here.
balloon in box
It's already closed.
Whatever for?
It's an attractive green color.
It's empty.
It's a box of balloons.
empty box
It's empty.
I don't want to carry a whole box.
box@@@@@@@@@@@
dolls
They're little generic voodoo Kewpie dolls.
It's full of dolls.
I'll just take one.
I don't want any more voodoo dolls.
I don't want to carry around a whole box of dolls.
box@@
They're full of root beer.
What, all of them?
boxes
They're full of root beer.
What, all of them?
boxes
They're full of root beer.
What, all of them?
boxes
I wouldn't want to open them ALL.
root beer
There's loads of root beer in here.
It's full of root beer.
One bottle of root beer should be sufficient.
I don't want a whole box.
box@@@@@@
It's positively PULSING with voodoo energy!
It's just a cheap little doll with no voodoo powers at all.
generic voodoo Kewpie doll
They're full of dolls.
What, all of them?
boxes
They're full of root beer.
What, all of them?
boxes
I wouldn't want to open them ALL.
root beer
There's loads of root beer in here.
It's full of root beer.
One bottle of root beer should be sufficient.
I don't want a whole box.
box@@@@@@
I love root beer.
I'd get everything all sticky.
root beer
helium balloon
balloon
It's an attractive green color.
balloon@@@@@@@
root beer
root beer
dolls
balloon in box
empty box
Oh, oh, oh, oh.\255\003Stayin' alive. Stayin' alive.
That's the way.\255\003Ah huh, ah huh\255\003I like it.
We represent\255\003The Lollipop Guild.
I'm a little bit country.\255\003I'm a little bit rock and roll.
Who can turn the world on with her smile?\255\003Who can take a nothing day\255\003and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Guybrush
surgical glove
surgical glove
underwear
What a cheap looking costume.
I can't reach that high.
cheaply made costume
It's missing the head.
I can't reach that high.
cheaply made costume
It's a little lever.
coin return
A veritable fortune.
coins
coin
Wheee!
coin@
It brings back painful memories.
It's out of order.
That won't do much.
broken grog machine
It looks like it's been here a long time.
It's already filled.
It's already filled.
It's already filled.
It's too heavy for me to lift.
helium tank
It's probably full of tools and useful stuff.
It's stuck.
It's already closed.
drawer
It's probably got all kinds of money and valuables in it.
It's stuck.
It's already closed.
drawer
It's empty.
There's nothing to pick up.
It's already open.
It's jammed.
drawer
I bet it has all sorts of powerful voodoo supplies inside.
It's stuck.
It's already closed.
drawer
It's most likely full of technological wonders.
It's stuck.
It's already closed.
drawer
It's probably empty.
It's stuck.
It's already closed.
drawer
Must be a pretty small railroad.
railroad track
I think it's more of those anchovies.
It's nailed shut.
crate
crate
crate
I'd really rather not.
underwear
door
helium surgical glove
helium surgical glove
Wow, a '43 steelie!
Whoa, a wheat-back!
It's a buffalo head!
Alright, a double eagle!
Hey, a Susan B. Anthony!
Cool, a Chuck E. Cheese token!
What a find!
Alas, poor Dad.
That wouldn't be polite.
Hi, dad.
skull
It's my dad.
Hi, dad.
That wouldn't be polite.
Hmm^\255\003This looks loose.
I've disturbed them enough.
@@@@@@remains
Yikes!
I don't like loud noises.
That wouldn't do much.
I don't like loud noises.
That wouldn't do much.
I don't like loud noises.
That wouldn't do much.
That wouldn't do anything.
I'd better not.
hypodermic syringe
There's a syringe in here.
It's empty.
It's just an ordinary drawer.
It's already open.
There's a syringe in here.
It's already closed.
Where am I going to put a drawer?
medical drawer
It's a pair of surgical gloves.
surgical gloves
It's a surgical glove.
This is no time to be playing doctor.
surgical glove@@@@@@@
It's a surgical glove.
This is no time to be playing doctor.
surgical glove@@@@@@@
It's already open.
There's stuff in it.
stuff in trash can
It's already closed.
There's stuff in here.
stuff in trash can
It's empty.
Nice trash can.
It's empty.
I don't want a trash can.
trash can
door
Boy, does that look comfy!
This is no time for playing doctor.
examining table
It's my mom.
Hi, mom.
That wouldn't be polite.
Dad looks a bit looser^
I've disturbed them enough.
@@@@@@remains
It has that austere but functional look.
I'd love to, but I'm kind of pressed for time.
chair
Mom's remains
Dad's remains
surgical gloves
stuff in trash can
Mom's remains
Dad's remains
Holy cow, these are my PARENTS!!
It's a pair of surgical gloves.
surgical glove
`Service elevator`\255\003`1000 pound limit`
plaque
It says `E` on it.
ticket
Boy, what a gyp!
What do I want with a bunch of bits of broken treasure chest?
smashed-up treasure chest
door
door
I've been in the dark enough for one day.
light switch
door
It says `Elevator this way.`
arrow
It says `First aid this way.`
arrow
Looks like the elevator is on this floor.
floor indicator
I can't get up there.
hole
call button
I should push the little button.
I should push the little button.
elevator door
Nice echo.
I can't see a thing.
Hold on.
Can't we talk this over?
I know you're upset.
Wait a second.
Let's not be hasty.
Are you sure you want to do this?
Let me explain.
Let's bury the hatchet.
Let bygones be bygones.
Err^
Ah^
Uh^
Um^
Let's discuss this like rational adults.
There's no need for violence.
LeChuck
Boo!
Eek!
Hello, Guybrush.
Hello, LeChuck.
Goodbye, LeChuck.
Would you mind not spitting so much when you talk?
You won't escape me this time!
Yeah? Just watch me!
I escaped from you before, I can easily do it again.
Oh? Why do you say that?
You're right, I give up.
Not so fast!
That's just as well.
Even if you were to escape, I would always be able to find you again.\255\003We are bound to one another.
Like soup and salad?
Like life and limb?
Like dreadlocks?
Not really.\255\003More like^
How appropriate.\255\003But I meant more like^
Yes, rather like that.\255\003Or like^
^brothers!
Eh?
I--\255\003--am your brother!
No!\255\003No, that's not true!\255\003That's impossible!
Search your feelings, you KNOW it to be true!
Noooooooo!!!!
^and I've brought a little surprise for you!
I think you being my brother is enough of a surprise \254\008 for one day.
Really? A treat?
Am I going to enjoy this?
I don't suppose it's a Nintendo\015 game^
Perhaps, but humor me.
A treat for ME, a surprise for YOU.
No, but I will.
No^
A dolly? The surprise is a dolly?
What's with the big, sharp, deadly looking pin?
Is this going to be anything like `pin the tail \254\008 on the donkey?`
Say, that wouldn't happen to be a voodoo doll, would it?
The surprise is a VOODOO dolly^
It's an accessory for this voodoo doll^
Something like that.\255\003This is a voodoo doll^
Why yes, as a matter of fact it IS a voodoo doll^
^which I'll be using to torture you^
^and then send you screaming to another dimension, one of infinite pain!
Observe^
I'll do anything, just please don't do that again!\255\009\007\000
Are you quite finished?
Mama!
OK, how about this:
No, I want to do this:
Heh heh heh.
That was exhilarating!\255\003Let's have some more fun, shall we?
Please!\255\003No more!
OK, time to send you screaming to a dimension of infinite pain!
Aaaiiiiieeee!!!!
At last, I'm rid of that pesky little wimp Guybrush!
WHUMP!
Hey, I'm alive!
Eh?
I thought I was a goner!
Whoops^
Strange^\255\003There must be something wrong with my voodoo doll.
It was supposed to send you to another dimension, not the next room.
Shoddy materials, I'll bet.
Well, I guess I'll just try it again.
Uh, no, that's OK, I--
Take this, BROTHER.
Hey, nothing's happening!
Root beer only works on ghosts, Guybrush.\255\003Having been resurrected, I'm not a ghost anymore.\255\003Allow me to demonstrate.
Here, try this.
Now, isn't that better?
used hankie
Aha!\255\003Caught you!
Now you're gonna get it!
Hey, Guybrush!\255\003It's voodoo time!
LeChuck
I don't think LeChuck's close enough for it to do anything.
That's pretty good, Guybrush^\255\003^but not good enough to stop ME!
LeChuck
Eh?
Oh, it's you.
What, THAT again?\255\003Ooh, look at me quakin' in me booties.\255\003I laugh at you and your puny voodoo tinkerings.\255\003Hah!
Take THIS, LeChuck!
Take THAT, LeChuck!
You know, this doll reminds me of the Stretchy \254\008 Strongman\015 I had as a kid.
I wonder what would happen if I tore the leg \254\008 off this thing?
Come on!
You don't scare me!
You think you're so big?
Stab the doll again!
It doesn't hurt!
I can take it!
I'm not afraid of your doll!
What are you gonna do now?
I'm gonna kick your butt, what do you think about that?
I'm much too powerful for you and your puny doll!
You'll have to do better than that!
Is that the best you can do?
You always were a wimp.
Ha!
^argh^
Guybrush^
--ghack--
What?
Come over here.
No way, I'm not that stupid.
But I want you to--\255\003--gag--\255\003--take my mask off^\255\003^choke^\255\003^see the TRUE face of your brother^
Forget it, I'm not coming over there.
No chance, you'll just rip out my lungs when I get close.
Leg or no leg, I trust you about as far as I can throw \254\008 Manhattan.
Oh, all right, I'm coming over.
But you've got to see--\255\003--hack--\255\003--my TRUE face!
--gurgle--\255\003No, no, I promise!\255\003Please, come take off the--\255\003--argh--\255\003--the mask!
I tell you I'm--\255\003--ack--\255\003--dying here!\255\003Take the mask off!
Gently now, remove my--\255\003--hack--\255\003--mask.
My god, you're^\255\003^my creepy brother Chuckie.
What, did you think I was kidding before?
Why have you been chasing me all over the place?
When our mother told you to hunt me down, did she \254\008 actually mention KILLING me, or was that your idea?
How come you hate me as much as you obviously do?
Do you really think a truck is more \254\008 important than your own BROTHER?
Our mother told me to hunt you down.
Get outta town!
Well, you remember the time you broke my Junior Ultra Soldier Commando Assault Vehicle\015?
No.
It wasn't a truck, it was a Junior Ultra Soldier Commando Assault Vehicle\015.
Look, Guybrush, could you help me out?\255\003Stick the leg back on the doll, OK?
Will you promise to stop picking on me?
Will you promise not to hold me down and spit on me \254\008 anymore?
Will you promise to stop locking me in your footlocker?
All right, all right, I promise!\255\003Anything, just put my leg back on!
Hey, you kids!\255\003You're not supposed to be in here!
Ah, so there you are!
What's going on?
Who are you people?
What IS this place?
We're scolding you for running off.\255\003Your mother and I were very concerned.
Just the same old family you've always had.
Well, it's not the Screaming Weenie Hut where we told you to meet us.\255\003Your mother and I were very concerned.
Thank you for hunting down your brother like we asked, Chuckie dear.
You boys didn't get in any trouble, now, did you?
No, sir.
Chuckie tried to kill me!
I stole a bunch of stuff and caused two huge explosions.
No, sir.\254\001\255\002
No, sir.
Good.
I wish you wouldn't run off like that, young man.\255\003We were worried sick.
You don't know what kinds of murderers and white slavers might be hanging around a place like this.
Yes, mom.
OK, mom.
I'm Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty pirate. I don't have \254\008 to worry about stuff like that.
This is weird. What's going on here?
Of course, dear.\255\003But please be careful.
Well, come on then, let's go ride the Madly Rotating Buccaneer.
Yeah!
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
Looks strong.
I could probably get the rope off with my hands.
I don't think it will catch on there.
rope
The writing on it says `ages 3 and up.`
I think a shovel should be sufficient for this soft ground.
I wouldn't be able to light it again, I'm out of matches.
I don't want to blow that up.
I don't want to blow that up.
That's not such a great idea.
I don't think it will do much good unless I light it first.
@@@@dynamite
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
It's a disgusting bog.
It looks a bit thick for swimming.
Yech, I don't want any of THIS revolting sludge.
pond
I slashed it up pretty well.
There's something lumpy in it.
It's empty already.
bag
It's empty.
It used to be full of instant low-sodium cracker mix, but now it's empty.
It's instant low-sodium cracker mix, just add water.
box of cracker mix
I think that's a bit too much water.
OK, it's open.
OK, it's closed.
box@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
call box
It doesn't seem interested.
parrot
It doesn't seem interested.
parrot
It's a low-sodium cracker.
cracker
It's a low-sodium cracker.
cracker
tree
It's tied shut with rope.
I did that already.
Hey, dynamite, just like it says on the side!
It's nailed shut.
I did that already.
It's tied shut with rope.
It's nailed shut.
It's full of dynamite.
It's empty.
I think that might be a dangerous way to open it, after all it DOES say `TNT` on the side.
It's already open.
box
more jungle
more jungle
box of cracker mix
LucasFilm Games Hint Line.\255\003Chester speaking.
I'm lost in the Dinky Island jungle in Monkey II.
When is SWOTL going to ship?
Who thought up that dumb stump joke?
Where do babies come from?
Why do adventure games cost so much?
What IS the secret of Monkey Island?
How much money have I spent talking to you?
Thank you, you've been very helpful. Good-bye.
Look, there are only two ways out of the room you're in.\255\003Figure it out, knucklehead.
I told you, just walk off the edge of the screen.\255\003How hard could that be?
It's been out for some time now.\255\003Where have you been, playing some frustrating graphic adventure?
I'm tired of hearing about that damn stump.\255\003Do you have any idea how many calls I get a DAY about that?\255\003Don't ask me about it again.
Yeah, sure.
What are you, a pervert?\255\003What's wrong with you?
Hey, I just work here.
I'm fed up with stupid questions like that.\255\003It's a surprise, OK?
Seventy-five cents a minute.\255\003You can ask your computer to work out the math for you.
Parrot
Parrot
Parrot
Parrot
Head north from the dinosaur to the pile of rocks.
Head due east from the rocks to the X.
I can't reach it.
Pretty Polly.
Head due east from the pond to the dinosaur.
Head north from the dinosaur to the pile of rocks.
Head due east from the rocks to the X.
I'll just take this rope off of it^
Hey, it's nailed shut!
It's lit now.
The fuse is burning down.
It's not burning very fast, but it's making definite progress.
More than half the fuse is gone already.
I think I'd better use this soon.
There's only about an inch of fuse left.
There's only about a half-inch of fuse left.
There's only about a quarter-inch of fuse left.
I'm getting a bit worried about carrying this around.
Looks like about an eighth of an inch of fuse left.
There couldn't be more than a sixteenth of an inch of fuse now.
I think I'd better use this REALLY soon.
There's a tiny amount of fuse left.
I can't really even see the fuse anymore.
I don't know how much time is left before this blows up, but I'll bet it's not long.
Boy, I must be a real idiot, carrying around a bunch of lit dynamite for so long.
Any minute now^
I think it's about to explode.
I bet if I even shake this too hard it will go off!
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
more jungle
beach
Guybrush
Hey!\255\003You guys get out of here!
Created and Designed by
Ron Gilbert
Written and Programmed by
Tim Schafer,
Tami Borowick,
Dave Grossman,
Bret Barrett
Tami Borowick,
Dave Grossman,
Bret Barrett,
Tim Schafer
Dave Grossman,
Bret Barrett,
Tim Schafer,
Tami Borowick
Bret Barrett,
Tim Schafer,
Tami Borowick,
Dave Grossman
and Ron Gilbert
Background Art by
Peter Chan, Steve Purcell,
Sean Turner
and James Dollar
Animation by
Sean Turner, Larry Ahern,
Mike McLaughin,
Steve Purcell,
Ken Macklin,
Collette Michaud
and Peter Chan
Music by
Michael Z. Land, Peter McConnell
and Clint Bajakian
Arrangements by
J. Anthony White and Robin Goldstein
FM Towns Sound Effects
James Leiterman
Lead Playtester
James Purple Hampton
Playtesters
Jim Current, Kristina Sontag,
Justin Graham, Chip Hinnenberg,
Eli Mark and Jon Van
additional testing by
jo `cap'n tripps` ashburn, wayne `bo` cline,
james `stainless` hanley,
kirk `blud` lesser,
bret `egg` mogilefsky,
tabitha `george` tosti,
howard `bubba` harrison
david `wotan` wessman,
khris `chester` brown,
erin collier, gwen `spike` musengwa,
ezra and squiggy.
SCUMM\015
Story System by
Ron Gilbert,
Aric Wilmunder, Brad P. Taylor
and Vince Lee
\029MUSE\015
Music System by
Michael Z. Land and Peter McConnell
Produced by
Shelley Day
FM Towns Version by
James Leiterman
Project Led by
Ron Gilbert
Deep in the Caribbean\255\001Scabb Island\255\002
Deep in the Caribbean\255\001Scabb Island\255\002
RECIPE FOR \255\007\043\000:
WORMS
GOUT
SCURVY
WARTS
TRENCH MOUTH
TATTOO RASH
PEG LEG ROT
XX
XX
MIX \255\007\041\000 \255\007\032\000\254\001WITH \255\007\046\000 \255\007\033\000.\254\001SHAKE WELL.
CHECK ONE:
MONKEY ISLAND 2\254\001 `I want it all\\ All the\254\001 puzzles\\ All the work\\`
MONKEY 2 LITE\254\001 `I've never played an\254\001 adventure game before.\254\001 I'm scared.`
\255\007\031\000
\255\007\045\000\255\002
\255\007\045\000\255\002
\255\007\030\000
\255\007\047\000
\255\007\048\000
\255\007\049\000
Regular Mode
Easy Mode
SOMEHOW THAT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.
YIKES! NOT QUITE RIGHT.
OOH, I SHUDDER TO THINK WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU MIXED THEM LIKE THAT!
SPRINKLES OF MSG
BREATH MINTS
DEAD CATS
RHINOCEROS TOENAILS
DUCK FEET
OUNCES BODY ODOR
BLOATED TICKS
GRAVE DIGGER'S SOCKS
SPRIGS OF POISON OAK
BUSHELS OF OKRA
DEADLY TOADSTOOLS
LIVER CUBES
HAIR BALLS
GLOBS OF BAT WAX
CRAB SCALPS
GOBS OF SPIT
WADS OF PRE-CHEWED GUM
OWL PELLETS
DROPS OF SKUNK EXTRACT
PIG FEET
SPIDER LUNGS
BOXES OF VOODOO HELPER
USED HANKIES
MUGS OF GROG
CC'S OF SNAKE SWEAT
SERVINGS OF FRUIT COCKTAIL
CHEESE SQUIGGLIES
SQUIRTS OF PEG LEG POLISH
FISHTAILS
SHARK LIPS
\255\007\045\000\255\002
\255\007\045\000\255\002
You Win!\255\002
You scored 800 out of 800 points.\255\002
MONKEY ISLAND 2: LECHUCK'S REVENGE\255\002
featuring walt as himself\255\002
Additional Art\254\001\255\002
Collette Michaud\254\001\255\002
Avril Harrison\254\001\255\002
Aaron Muzalski\254\001\255\002
Gary Winnick\254\001\255\002
Lettering Artist\254\001\255\002
Christine Benson Miller\255\002
Proofraeding\254\001\255\002
Andrea Siegel\254\001\255\002
Jo Ashburn\255\002
Fun and Excitement Supervisor\254\001\255\002
Alexa Eurich\255\002
Gum Chewing\254\001\255\002
Michele Harrell\255\002
Lucasfilm Games General Manager\254\001\255\002
Doug Glen\255\002
Lucasfilm Games Director of Development\254\001\255\002
Kelly Flock\255\002
Lucasfilm Games Associate Director of Development\254\001\255\002
Lucy Bradshaw\255\002
Product Marketing Manager\254\001\255\002
Robin Parker\255\002
Public Relations\254\001\255\002
Sue Seserman\255\002
Yoyos\254\001\255\002
Tom Kuhn Custom Yoyos, Ltd.\255\002
Lucasfilm Games Director of Sales\254\001\255\002
Cynthia Wuthmann\255\002
Product Support\254\001\255\002
Khris Brown\254\001\255\002
Gwen Newton Musengwa\254\001\255\002
Erin A. Collier\254\001\255\002
Livia Mackin\254\001\255\002
International Coordinator\254\001\255\002
Lisa Star\255\002
I wonder what I'm doing standing next to this hole?
I wonder what's keeping Guybrush?
I hope LeChuck hasn't cast some horrible SPELL over him or anything.
Goofy Pun Consultant\254\001\255\002
Noah Falstein\255\002
Environmental Specialist\254\001\255\002
Paul Thermidor\255\002
administrative support\255\001annemarie\016barrett wendy\016bertram meredith\016cahill alexa\016eurich claudia\016hardin michele\016harrell\255\002
administrative support\255\001brenna\016krupa\016holden marcia\016keasler debbie\016ratto lisa\016star kim\016thomas james\016wood dawn\016yamada sparky\016the\016wonder\016yak\255\002
Feelings Coordinator\254\001\255\002
Commander Buttonhead\255\002
Wrangling\254\001\255\002
Lucy Bradshaw\255\002
Inspiration and Admiration\254\001\255\002
Paul Hill\255\002
`Works like crazy!`\254\001\255\002
-- Hal Barwood\255\002
`So, what's for dinner?`\254\001\255\002
-- Jenny Sward\255\002
Sam and Max appear courtesy of Steve\016Purcell
Seagull\015 appears courtesy of LOOM\015
Introducing Khris Brown as Chester
MONKEY ISLAND 2: LECHUCK'S REVENGE\255\002
A Lucasfilm Games Production
TM & (c) 1991 LucasArts Entertainment Company.\254\001\255\002
All Rights Reserved.
licensed and distributed by:\254\001\255\002
JVC Victor Musical Industries, Inc
OK, that's it, turn off your computer and do something constructive.
Like play a little racquetball.
Or wash your car.
Or cook dinner.
Or join a funk band.
Or travel to a foreign country.
Or run for president.
Or talk to a member of the opposite sex.
Or lube your car.
Or host a weenie roast.
Or dig for buried treasure.
Or milk a cow.
Or have a yelling contest with your neighbor's dog.
Or perform brain surgery.
Or paint a yellow line in the center of your driveway.
Or write your name in the snow.
Or teach basket weaving to clams.
Or sing Welsh folk songs at the bank.
Or plant trees on public property.
Or confuse the person next to you.
Or make a triangular table.
Or hop, skip, and jump.
Or ride a train.
Or organize your sock drawer alphabetically.
Or go bowling with your mom.
Or train potato bugs to do tricks.
Or make a quilt.
Or publish a magazine about pencil shavings.
Or eat lime jello with pineapple in it.
Or pave a freeway.
Or learn to draw.
Or take up photography.
Or learn to tell time.
Or photocopy money.
Or go out for pasta.
Or sew a dress.
Or bathe your iguana.
Or go fishing.
Or paint a stranger's house in the middle of the night.
Or take up windsurfing.
Or change your hair style.
Or sharpen your whiteboard markers.
Or feed a toucan.
Or enjoy the sun.
Or do a crossword puzzle.
Or buy some cool clothes.
Or go to the beach.
Or play croquet with your dad.
Or water your plants.
Or build a doll house.
Or invite some friends over for salmon and white wine.
Not!
